Not ideal time to be TTC but I'm 36!!!

FlyingMonkey · Mar 26th, 2012, 17:39 PM

Hi, I'm new.

I've been super busy with school and career (and bad relationships, to be honest) and now I've found myself 36 and thinking about TTC with my boyfriend. It's not ideal but I just don't think I can wait for much longer. I'm truly scared out of my mind of the physical, social and career-related changes that would happen if I became pregnant. At the same time, I'm sad every time my period comes around and I hear my clock ticking away. This isn't where I pictured myself at this age but I have to work with what I have to work with.

It's been a long time since I had a challenge that I just can't seem to work out intellectually. This is going to be an emotional ride whether I get pregnant or not and I could use a little company. Anyone identify?

Milty · Mar 26th, 2012, 23:11 PM

I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect time but time fleeting for us now eh

Good luck to you !!

Leikela · Mar 31st, 2012, 10:21 AM

Flying Monkey,

I can sort of relate to you. Hubby and I have been married almost 6 years and he wanted kids right away. Not to say I didn't want kids, but I wanted to put it off as long as possible. I have my own set of fears with bringing a kid into the picture. Hubby and I even went to counseling over it.

Anyway, it was finally my age that made me throw all caution to the wind and just go for it. The pressure of that age window closing is not fun.

In your case, since you are not married, I think you will have to ask yourself, are you prepared to raise a baby alone if things don't work out with you and your boyfriend? Does your boyfriend want to have a child? I think ultimately if you are ready and prepared to raise a child alone, then go for it, because that would be the worst case scenario here. Of course, even married couples run into that down the line with divorce and stuff but you are bit more vulnerable.

I wish you well with this big decision!

drsquid · Mar 31st, 2012, 19:54 PM

i just turned 39 always knew i wanted a kid but... just started trying on my own in jan. 3 failed cycles so far. i decided i didnt want shared kids etc. sure id love to find someone at some point but id hate to have a baby with mr ok and then have him in my life forever. this way it is my kid. and if mr perfect comes along then there is no 3rd adult permantly in our lives. i am luck enough to make enough money and get enough time off that this is doable alone

anorak · Apr 3rd, 2012, 14:08 PM

I hear you on this. In the same situation!

hopefuloneday · Apr 19th, 2012, 15:51 PM

Same here. I finally realized at 35 I was ready to have kids and the time was now! My boyfriend and I started trying not even a yr of being together which I was always leary of (for myself that is since I had a "marriage/family plan" but it just was not happening). We still have our problems and I am now starting my own business.

Timing is not perfect but I feel having a family is the most important thing regardless on how badly $ and relationship may end. I am always hoping for the best outcome of course

My mom was single and got a degree while I was a 4-8yrs old and soon after she had a full time career with no regrets. So I figure it can always be done on our own.

anorak · Apr 22nd, 2012, 12:09 PM

I am 36 this year, and I need to do what I know I need to do. I am a very young 35, I have only just bought a house, but I can't move into it till September! I have a full time job as a teacher and I am scared that with the mortgage and debts will I be able to afford a little one? I just know that if I don't do it now, time will take that chance away from me. I can't believe I hit 35 and thought, hold on! I want a baby! Good luck ladies.

FlyingMonkey · Apr 28th, 2012, 12:50 PM

I just bought a house too and have a great deal of fear about the financial implications of getting pregnant. Everyone says that it's do-able and that, no matter how hard it is, it's worth it. Good luck!

Mar 26th, 2012, 17:39 PM	#1
FlyingMonkey Pregnant (Expecting) New BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 6	Not ideal time to be TTC but I'm 36!!! Hi, I'm new. I've been super busy with school and career (and bad relationships, to be honest) and now I've found myself 36 and thinking about TTC with my boyfriend. It's not ideal but I just don't think I can wait for much longer. I'm truly scared out of my mind of the physical, social and career-related changes that would happen if I became pregnant. At the same time, I'm sad every time my period comes around and I hear my clock ticking away. This isn't where I pictured myself at this age but I have to work with what I have to work with. It's been a long time since I had a challenge that I just can't seem to work out intellectually. This is going to be an emotional ride whether I get pregnant or not and I could use a little company. Anyone identify?

Status: Offline

Mar 26th, 2012, 23:11 PM	#2
Milty Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: USA Posts: 4,738	I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect time but time fleeting for us now eh Good luck to you !!

Status: Online

Mar 31st, 2012, 10:21 AM	#3
Leikela Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 1,148	Flying Monkey, I can sort of relate to you. Hubby and I have been married almost 6 years and he wanted kids right away. Not to say I didn't want kids, but I wanted to put it off as long as possible. I have my own set of fears with bringing a kid into the picture. Hubby and I even went to counseling over it. Anyway, it was finally my age that made me throw all caution to the wind and just go for it. The pressure of that age window closing is not fun. In your case, since you are not married, I think you will have to ask yourself, are you prepared to raise a baby alone if things don't work out with you and your boyfriend? Does your boyfriend want to have a child? I think ultimately if you are ready and prepared to raise a child alone, then go for it, because that would be the worst case scenario here. Of course, even married couples run into that down the line with divorce and stuff but you are bit more vulnerable. I wish you well with this big decision!

Status: Offline

Mar 31st, 2012, 19:54 PM	#4
drsquid Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,577	i just turned 39 always knew i wanted a kid but... just started trying on my own in jan. 3 failed cycles so far. i decided i didnt want shared kids etc. sure id love to find someone at some point but id hate to have a baby with mr ok and then have him in my life forever. this way it is my kid. and if mr perfect comes along then there is no 3rd adult permantly in our lives. i am luck enough to make enough money and get enough time off that this is doable alone

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 14:08 PM	#5
anorak Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 612	I hear you on this. In the same situation!

Status: Offline

Apr 19th, 2012, 15:51 PM	#6
hopefuloneday Trying to conceive (TTC) New BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 5	Same here. I finally realized at 35 I was ready to have kids and the time was now! My boyfriend and I started trying not even a yr of being together which I was always leary of (for myself that is since I had a "marriage/family plan" but it just was not happening). We still have our problems and I am now starting my own business. Timing is not perfect but I feel having a family is the most important thing regardless on how badly $ and relationship may end. I am always hoping for the best outcome of course My mom was single and got a degree while I was a 4-8yrs old and soon after she had a full time career with no regrets. So I figure it can always be done on our own.

Status: Offline

Apr 22nd, 2012, 12:09 PM	#7
anorak Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 612	I am 36 this year, and I need to do what I know I need to do. I am a very young 35, I have only just bought a house, but I can't move into it till September! I have a full time job as a teacher and I am scared that with the mortgage and debts will I be able to afford a little one? I just know that if I don't do it now, time will take that chance away from me. I can't believe I hit 35 and thought, hold on! I want a baby! Good luck ladies.

Status: Offline

Apr 28th, 2012, 12:50 PM	#8
FlyingMonkey Pregnant (Expecting) New BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 6	I just bought a house too and have a great deal of fear about the financial implications of getting pregnant. Everyone says that it's do-able and that, no matter how hard it is, it's worth it. Good luck!

Status: Offline

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