I wish I hadnt told anyone...(rant warning)

chubbin · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:09 PM

When we began TTC 6 months ago, I told my family, friends and colleagues that we were trying.
Now every time I see certain people they ask me how its going. Whilst this is normal and natural of them, I feel like they are getting impatient and/or worried, and I feel like a failure. I have one particularly insensitive colleague who fell pregnant at the drop of a hat with her twin girls, and she is always like 'just relax', and 'it happened so quickly for me', grrrrr.
Its a double edged sword, because 1. I like to be honest and open, and 2. during the TWW that I cant help but talk about it, as its on my mind most of the time.
I am thinking of telling certain 'judgey' and over interested people that we've stopped trying, just to take the pressure off myself. I dont like lying to them though. Oh why am I such a blabbermouth!?
Rant over, cheers for listening xx

Crypto1976 · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:14 PM

i know how you feel. No one knew we were ttc, and then I had an ectopic, and I see people looking at my tummy when they talk to me. Its getting quite annoying. In someways it would be easier if they asked, but dont in case they upset me. You cant win!!!

debgreasby · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:14 PM

for you.

I told one particular friend that we were trying and now i wish i hadn't. Sick of her asking me every bloody time i see her!

BumpyCake · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:16 PM

oh darlin' I'm sorry. That would annoy the hell outta me too. The bad part is that you have to encounter it everywhere you go.

I think you should say something like "if anything happens you'll be one of the first to know". I only say that because I wonder if saying that you're not trying will make them all "oh, you poor thing and blah blah blah". Who knows? Either way, I hope you're able to squash all of the questions.

good luck hunni

gina8177 · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:18 PM

I told my one friend by accident, posted something in a chat window for her that was meant for my hubby...

She has basically told me that I am pathetic for doing research on pregnancy before actually getting preggers which I found really offensive. I want to be prepared and feel that I am 100% more prepared for all the research I've done.

It especially bugs me as the minute they decided to try they went off of BC and were preggers within 20 days so she doesn't understand what it's like to try and not succeed.

debgreasby · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:21 PM

seems like a bit of an insensitive friend to me!

i personally like to research most things.. i mean i wouldn't buy a car without finding out more about it, for example!

dt1234565 · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:27 PM

I agree!!!

I think the idea of if i have any news i'll tell you is a good one.

Some people do not mean to be insensitive i think they just dont realise all the ups and downs that go with TTC.

You'll be BFP soon anyway so dont worry hunny!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

chubbin · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:31 PM

You guys are great, thanks

Im just off to meet a friend and Im going to try the 'you'll be the first to know' line.
Crypto - yes alot of people look at my stomach before they look at my face these days. Unfortunately for me Im sort of 'apple shaped' - slim arms and legs but with a bit of a pot belly. Therefore after they've looked at my stomach, they meet my eyes with an expectant look on their face. So I get to feel great for not being pregnant and then doubly great for looking like I am pregnant! Actually typing that has made me chuckle to myself and taken the pressure off a bit. Thanks all

xx

Crypto1976 · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:32 PM

Gina- most women wouldnt buy a handbag without some kind of research! I smell jealousy! Tell her to get a grip! Good luck hun. XXX

lnic1970 · Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:43 PM

ive only told a couple of very close friends (they've both just had their first babies) that we ttc - if we successful this will be my 3rd, 1st for OH but its been such a long time as my girls are 19 & 12, that i felt I had to confide in my buddies but def wont be telling anyone else, think theres enough pressure without family etc constantly asking how its going all be it they would mean well...
Im doing all the research possible, tend to get a bit obsessed about things but the more informed the better as far as im concerned..
Good luck to all of us

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:09 PM	#1
chubbin Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South west england Posts: 1,528	I wish I hadnt told anyone...(rant warning) When we began TTC 6 months ago, I told my family, friends and colleagues that we were trying. Now every time I see certain people they ask me how its going. Whilst this is normal and natural of them, I feel like they are getting impatient and/or worried, and I feel like a failure. I have one particularly insensitive colleague who fell pregnant at the drop of a hat with her twin girls, and she is always like 'just relax', and 'it happened so quickly for me', grrrrr. Its a double edged sword, because 1. I like to be honest and open, and 2. during the TWW that I cant help but talk about it, as its on my mind most of the time. I am thinking of telling certain 'judgey' and over interested people that we've stopped trying, just to take the pressure off myself. I dont like lying to them though. Oh why am I such a blabbermouth!? Rant over, cheers for listening xx

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:14 PM	#2
Crypto1976 Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,820	i know how you feel. No one knew we were ttc, and then I had an ectopic, and I see people looking at my tummy when they talk to me. Its getting quite annoying. In someways it would be easier if they asked, but dont in case they upset me. You cant win!!!

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:14 PM	#3
debgreasby Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sutton in Ashfield, Notts Posts: 5,561	for you. I told one particular friend that we were trying and now i wish i hadn't. Sick of her asking me every bloody time i see her!

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Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:16 PM	#4
BumpyCake Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Detroit, MI USA Posts: 1,421	oh darlin' I'm sorry. That would annoy the hell outta me too. The bad part is that you have to encounter it everywhere you go. I think you should say something like "if anything happens you'll be one of the first to know". I only say that because I wonder if saying that you're not trying will make them all "oh, you poor thing and blah blah blah". Who knows? Either way, I hope you're able to squash all of the questions. good luck hunni

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:18 PM	#5
gina8177 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Port Coquitlam, BC Posts: 1,949	I told my one friend by accident, posted something in a chat window for her that was meant for my hubby... She has basically told me that I am pathetic for doing research on pregnancy before actually getting preggers which I found really offensive. I want to be prepared and feel that I am 100% more prepared for all the research I've done. It especially bugs me as the minute they decided to try they went off of BC and were preggers within 20 days so she doesn't understand what it's like to try and not succeed.

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:21 PM	#6
debgreasby Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sutton in Ashfield, Notts Posts: 5,561	seems like a bit of an insensitive friend to me! i personally like to research most things.. i mean i wouldn't buy a car without finding out more about it, for example!

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:27 PM	#7
dt1234565 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Essex UK Posts: 4,521	I agree!!! I think the idea of if i have any news i'll tell you is a good one. Some people do not mean to be insensitive i think they just dont realise all the ups and downs that go with TTC. You'll be BFP soon anyway so dont worry hunny!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:31 PM	#8
chubbin Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South west england Posts: 1,528	You guys are great, thanks Im just off to meet a friend and Im going to try the 'you'll be the first to know' line. Crypto - yes alot of people look at my stomach before they look at my face these days. Unfortunately for me Im sort of 'apple shaped' - slim arms and legs but with a bit of a pot belly. Therefore after they've looked at my stomach, they meet my eyes with an expectant look on their face. So I get to feel great for not being pregnant and then doubly great for looking like I am pregnant! Actually typing that has made me chuckle to myself and taken the pressure off a bit. Thanks all xx

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:32 PM	#9
Crypto1976 Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,820	Gina- most women wouldnt buy a handbag without some kind of research! I smell jealousy! Tell her to get a grip! Good luck hun. XXX

Status: Offline

Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:43 PM	#10
lnic1970 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Wee Toon, West of Scotland Posts: 660	ive only told a couple of very close friends (they've both just had their first babies) that we ttc - if we successful this will be my 3rd, 1st for OH but its been such a long time as my girls are 19 & 12, that i felt I had to confide in my buddies but def wont be telling anyone else, think theres enough pressure without family etc constantly asking how its going all be it they would mean well... Im doing all the research possible, tend to get a bit obsessed about things but the more informed the better as far as im concerned.. Good luck to all of us

Status: Offline

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