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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 14:46 PM   11
Anya0ttc
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Jillie I'm so glad your story had a happy ending/chapter it's so lovely to hear your encouragement, thank you for your kind words. Like you say It doesn't solve the 'problem' (for want of a better word) but it does fill me with hope x

Kat I'm so sorry your going through such a hard time. I'm glad you've got the support of your husband he sounds like a lovely man and a sensitive family. I think your right its absolutely key to support each other. I do think Sam is afraid to talk to me about how he feels becuase I was so depressed about it and he doesn't want me to get like that again. I feel awful about that and we need to sit down and have a long talk about it all. We're so great about talking about anything else that's bothering us but with this we just avoid the issue. Other people's comments astound me especially when they come from members of his family :@ it makes me mad but I learn to ignore it. I so hope you get you baby soon, it's the worst feeling in the world but it will make it all the more special when it does happen for us all x

Bumblebee I'm feeling much better, a bit more rational that's for sure! Im sorry I haven't replied for so long I've been doing some positive things for myself like going to the gym and I took a break from my ipad! I have the odd day where I just feel like I can't deal with it much longer and I want to stop trying altogether. I haven't spoken to my doctor yet, when I was diagnosed my doctor was so rude it put me off completely thank you for your support :') x

Lou thank you! Sorry you got so upset this cycle. I can totally empathise with you there I can't believe your friend betrayed your trust like that and your OH's family telling you that must be so hard my OH's family although are tactless still want the same result as us so I guess that's a plus. Have you tried talking to them about how it makes you feel? I'm the same and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that some how we will end up as parents and I'm sure you will too! I think it's very easy for people to say stop thinking about it or stay positive but it really is a minefield of 'baby reminders' and staying positive is really hard I agree with you I can't wait until we both get our bfp's I'll be so so happy for you :') x

Lisap that's a long time, I admire your optimism and positivity. I wish I had those qualities, I agree with you. As I said in my above post I need to get myself on track before I can be a good parent however I agree with Lou I think I'm more than capable of loving a child but there's deffinatley room for improvement and I want to be the best parent I can be. I hope you get your positive soon, you truly deserve it affer all this time!x



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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 14:54 PM   12
lisap2008
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Originally Posted by Anya0ttc View Post
Jillie I'm so glad your story had a happy ending/chapter it's so lovely to hear your encouragement, thank you for your kind words. Like you say It doesn't solve the 'problem' (for want of a better word) but it does fill me with hope x

Kat I'm so sorry your going through such a hard time. I'm glad you've got the support of your husband he sounds like a lovely man and a sensitive family. I think your right its absolutely key to support each other. I do think Sam is afraid to talk to me about how he feels becuase I was so depressed about it and he doesn't want me to get like that again. I feel awful about that and we need to sit down and have a long talk about it all. We're so great about talking about anything else that's bothering us but with this we just avoid the issue. Other people's comments astound me especially when they come from members of his family :@ it makes me mad but I learn to ignore it. I so hope you get you baby soon, it's the worst feeling in the world but it will make it all the more special when it does happen for us all x

Bumblebee I'm feeling much better, a bit more rational that's for sure! Im sorry I haven't replied for so long I've been doing some positive things for myself like going to the gym and I took a break from my ipad! I have the odd day where I just feel like I can't deal with it much longer and I want to stop trying altogether. I haven't spoken to my doctor yet, when I was diagnosed my doctor was so rude it put me off completely thank you for your support :') x

Lou thank you! Sorry you got so upset this cycle. I can totally empathise with you there I can't believe your friend betrayed your trust like that and your OH's family telling you that must be so hard my OH's family although are tactless still want the same result as us so I guess that's a plus. Have you tried talking to them about how it makes you feel? I'm the same and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that some how we will end up as parents and I'm sure you will too! I think it's very easy for people to say stop thinking about it or stay positive but it really is a minefield of 'baby reminders' and staying positive is really hard I agree with you I can't wait until we both get our bfp's I'll be so so happy for you :') x

Lisap that's a long time, I admire your optimism and positivity. I wish I had those qualities, I agree with you. As I said in my above post I need to get myself on track before I can be a good parent however I agree with Lou I think I'm more than capable of loving a child but there's deffinatley room for improvement and I want to be the best parent I can be. I hope you get your positive soon, you truly deserve it affer all this time!x



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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 15:09 PM   13
Anya0ttc
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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I'm sorry I did reply to all of your lovely comments but it seems to have been deleted unless you guys can see them?x



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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 15:14 PM   14
lisap2008
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I can see them , I hope things start looking up for you.



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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 15:32 PM   15
Anya0ttc
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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That's good, must be my iPad having trouble. Thank you, you too x



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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 15:42 PM   16
LouOscar01
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Anya, we are both very young, we can definitely get BFPs, we have a lot of time left to try all the amazing fertility things they can do these days!! x



 
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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 17:11 PM   17
Jillie89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lisap2008 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by LouOscar01 View Post
You can definitely still love another even if you don't love yourself!!!

You can try but its not true love because its coming from yourself needing to fill a void and if you dont have any self love or self worth how can you teach your child self love and worth? children usually mirror the parent.
the same in relationships if you dont love and value yourself and are not truly happy how can someone else make you happy ,they cant and it leads to alot of turmoil in a relationship as the other partner is always trying to make you happy but its superficial and does not last,happiness and love must come from within yourself first before you can love others.
I understand what you are saying about loving yourself first. I always thought that myself. But in the end, I hated myself because I could not do what is normally so natural for others. I thought how could my husband love me anymore if my body isn't doing the right thing?

My husband and I had and still have a great relationship (he is the most supportive, understanding, caring and tolerant person and puts up with me with all the ups and downs) but it always felt like there was a part of the puzzle missing in our lives.

My depression I was told should have been medicated but alas I could not take anything due to undergoing my fertility treatments. The moment I was pregnant, my fears were still there but my depression was pretty much a distant memory. Even now I go through days where I get upset (not depressed) about not being able to be a mother 'the normal way' and I still blame myself for making us spend 30 grand on making a baby. I guess now, it is more insecurities rather than depression.

Everyone is different, and I understand that. We all cope differently and it is amazing how our brains all work in such different ways.

I truly wish everyone on their TTC journey all the best. If I could wave a magic wand for everyone TTC I would.



 
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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 17:13 PM   18
Jillie89
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: QLD, Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lisap2008 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anya0ttc View Post
Jillie I'm so glad your story had a happy ending/chapter it's so lovely to hear your encouragement, thank you for your kind words. Like you say It doesn't solve the 'problem' (for want of a better word) but it does fill me with hope x

Kat I'm so sorry your going through such a hard time. I'm glad you've got the support of your husband he sounds like a lovely man and a sensitive family. I think your right its absolutely key to support each other. I do think Sam is afraid to talk to me about how he feels becuase I was so depressed about it and he doesn't want me to get like that again. I feel awful about that and we need to sit down and have a long talk about it all. We're so great about talking about anything else that's bothering us but with this we just avoid the issue. Other people's comments astound me especially when they come from members of his family :@ it makes me mad but I learn to ignore it. I so hope you get you baby soon, it's the worst feeling in the world but it will make it all the more special when it does happen for us all x

Bumblebee I'm feeling much better, a bit more rational that's for sure! Im sorry I haven't replied for so long I've been doing some positive things for myself like going to the gym and I took a break from my ipad! I have the odd day where I just feel like I can't deal with it much longer and I want to stop trying altogether. I haven't spoken to my doctor yet, when I was diagnosed my doctor was so rude it put me off completely thank you for your support :') x

Lou thank you! Sorry you got so upset this cycle. I can totally empathise with you there I can't believe your friend betrayed your trust like that and your OH's family telling you that must be so hard my OH's family although are tactless still want the same result as us so I guess that's a plus. Have you tried talking to them about how it makes you feel? I'm the same and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that some how we will end up as parents and I'm sure you will too! I think it's very easy for people to say stop thinking about it or stay positive but it really is a minefield of 'baby reminders' and staying positive is really hard I agree with you I can't wait until we both get our bfp's I'll be so so happy for you :') x

Lisap that's a long time, I admire your optimism and positivity. I wish I had those qualities, I agree with you. As I said in my above post I need to get myself on track before I can be a good parent however I agree with Lou I think I'm more than capable of loving a child but there's deffinatley room for improvement and I want to be the best parent I can be. I hope you get your positive soon, you truly deserve it affer all this time!x
Great to hear you are feeling a bit better. Day by day, step by step. Keep doing those positive things for yourself. Can only be good for your mind and body



 
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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 17:43 PM   19
lisap2008
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Join Date: May 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillie89 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisap2008 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by LouOscar01 View Post
You can definitely still love another even if you don't love yourself!!!

You can try but its not true love because its coming from yourself needing to fill a void and if you dont have any self love or self worth how can you teach your child self love and worth? children usually mirror the parent.
the same in relationships if you dont love and value yourself and are not truly happy how can someone else make you happy ,they cant and it leads to alot of turmoil in a relationship as the other partner is always trying to make you happy but its superficial and does not last,happiness and love must come from within yourself first before you can love others.
I understand what you are saying about loving yourself first. I always thought that myself. But in the end, I hated myself because I could not do what is normally so natural for others. I thought how could my husband love me anymore if my body isn't doing the right thing?

My husband and I had and still have a great relationship (he is the most supportive, understanding, caring and tolerant person and puts up with me with all the ups and downs) but it always felt like there was a part of the puzzle missing in our lives.

My depression I was told should have been medicated but alas I could not take anything due to undergoing my fertility treatments. The moment I was pregnant, my fears were still there but my depression was pretty much a distant memory. Even now I go through days where I get upset (not depressed) about not being able to be a mother 'the normal way' and I still blame myself for making us spend 30 grand on making a baby. I guess now, it is more insecurities rather than depression.

Everyone is different, and I understand that. We all cope differently and it is amazing how our brains all work in such different ways.

I truly wish everyone on their TTC journey all the best. If I could wave a magic wand for everyone TTC I would.
I completely understand how stressful TTC can be especially when you have very slim chance of conceiving on your own which was also the case for me , sadly IVF was not a option for me. so be thankful you had the option and got a miracle out of it all.there are some women who go through several IVF cycles and never get a miracle. im not saying everyone must have high self esteem and so much self love that nothing can break them I dont think thats realistic, life is as hard as bricks and we all deal with it differently .we all go through tough times. I have been through my share and I rose above it, and im here if you need a friend.



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Old Nov 4th, 2014, 18:05 PM   20
Jillie89
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: QLD, Australia
Posts: 923
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisap2008 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillie89 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisap2008 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by LouOscar01 View Post
You can definitely still love another even if you don't love yourself!!!

You can try but its not true love because its coming from yourself needing to fill a void and if you dont have any self love or self worth how can you teach your child self love and worth? children usually mirror the parent.
the same in relationships if you dont love and value yourself and are not truly happy how can someone else make you happy ,they cant and it leads to alot of turmoil in a relationship as the other partner is always trying to make you happy but its superficial and does not last,happiness and love must come from within yourself first before you can love others.
I understand what you are saying about loving yourself first. I always thought that myself. But in the end, I hated myself because I could not do what is normally so natural for others. I thought how could my husband love me anymore if my body isn't doing the right thing?

My husband and I had and still have a great relationship (he is the most supportive, understanding, caring and tolerant person and puts up with me with all the ups and downs) but it always felt like there was a part of the puzzle missing in our lives.

My depression I was told should have been medicated but alas I could not take anything due to undergoing my fertility treatments. The moment I was pregnant, my fears were still there but my depression was pretty much a distant memory. Even now I go through days where I get upset (not depressed) about not being able to be a mother 'the normal way' and I still blame myself for making us spend 30 grand on making a baby. I guess now, it is more insecurities rather than depression.

Everyone is different, and I understand that. We all cope differently and it is amazing how our brains all work in such different ways.

I truly wish everyone on their TTC journey all the best. If I could wave a magic wand for everyone TTC I would.
I completely understand how stressful TTC can be especially when you have very slim chance of conceiving on your own which was also the case for me , sadly IVF was not a option for me. so be thankful you had the option and got a miracle out of it all.there are some women who go through several IVF cycles and never get a miracle. im not saying everyone must have high self esteem and so much self love that nothing can break them I dont think thats realistic, life is as hard as bricks and we all deal with it differently .we all go through tough times. I have been through my share and I rose above it, and im here if you need a friend.
I am thankful every single day for our little miracle. I know we are so damn lucky and it can be so unfair for other people and an even harder and longer road than we went down. I don't for a second take our little girl for granted and make it my mission to give her the best possible life and most time I can give her. You must be an amazingly strong person to rise above your struggles. You should be so proud of yourself.



 
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