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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 16:52 PM   1
ToxicFox92
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Some things are best kept quiet


I've been reading a lot of girls on here have been having trouble with their OH and getting him to DTD when needed.
And although the obvious answer is to NOT tell him when you're OVing so he doesn't feel too "preasured", the thing is, wouldn't it be a bit obvious?

I've you've been TTC for a while, surely he'll know the rough day or week when it's time, so he'll catch on regardless.

Talking to him doesn't work
Ignoring it wont work, because that means no babies.

Note: I'm not having trouble with it myself, i just thought it could be nice to have a little time to talk about it and exchange advice

Is there any real cure to this problem?



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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 16:59 PM   2
emmalouise121
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Tbh I think that if the OH wants it as much as he says he does.. then he'll also WANT to DTD whenever its needed/whenever possible in some cases.
If my DF started taking no interest and didnt wanna BD, no matter how much id explained to him, then id start thinking he isnt as bothered anymore :/
I dunno, thats just my opinion but im pretty paranoid as it is hope I haven't offended anyone by the way.. just realised how straight forward and mean this may sound, sorry!

xxxx



 
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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 17:03 PM   3
StarlitHome
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Guys do get performance anxiety, so this is a legit thing and definitely something that needs to be handled delicately! They don't want to be just thought of or treated as sperm banks!

This is really why I like the Sperm Meets Egg Plan - you're DTD every other day starting CD 8. And so far for us, it's been great. It doesn't feel planned, it's not too crazy much, and we take our time and enjoy it.

I think a baby should be concieved lovingly, so I really don't want to turn TTC into a clinical thing run by charts and things. I think this helps with not making dH feel funny about it.



 
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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 17:03 PM   4
ToxicFox92
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Emma - Yeah, that could be true, but I suppose men aren't very good under preassure, so perhaps they do want it, but they find it hard to perform when they know they HAVE to?



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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 17:06 PM   5
ToxicFox92
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Holly - we're the same to be honest, but with me having irregular cycles it's becoming a bit tedious.

I only found out i'm OVing today last night, so we've been going a bit crazy with the dancing



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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 17:07 PM   6
emmalouise121
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hm true, but then again, i know men find talking quite hard, but maybe they shouls start?
gahhh, idk.
they're so confusing sometimes
xxx



 
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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 17:08 PM   7
Nat0619
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Hi Ladies

Good thread. I've seen a lot of ladies on here having this trouble. I myself have been very lucky (so far!), in that my OH seems as enthusiastic to 'try' at the right time as I am. In fact, sometimes it's ME on the brink of thinking 'oh why bother, it never works' and HE jumps on ME! I am then very quickly convinced obviously

I'm not sure whether it is that the men are not bothered about having a anymore, I wonder if it is more that, after ttc for a while and nothing happening, they maybe start to worry that the problem may be them and that their isn't up to the job or something. I'm not sure what the answer to the problem is really



 
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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 17:08 PM   8
ToxicFox92
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I know, they aren't best at telling us how they feel, I've been getting a little paranoid about it lately, but he keeps reassuring me he really does want it ^_^



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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 19:47 PM   9
MissBabyBump
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I think this is a great threaf! I have to say that I do think if your OH says he wants to try, then he wants to try! Not many men will just say "oh yeah I want a baby...all the bills, etc!" 90 percent of men are not and do not want to know the little details about our cervical position, cervical mucus, and what days we are O'ing...lol that kind of stuff is the last thing they want to be thinking of. If they ask when you are most fertile- then go about telling them in a simpler way. Its not that they don't love every spec of info about you, but maybe those things turns them off, and also like first post said can cause performance troubles... Let him come to you with those questions on his own time.

If you notice, the people who don't even worry about what days they r fertile, CM, CP and whatnot- they are the ones that get prego fast...just know when ur best days are but don't force ur body to be turned on and want sex.
Jump on ur man and let him know when u want it and guaranteed he will do the same to you!



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Old Nov 1st, 2010, 19:57 PM   10
fieraentara
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I haven't personally had this problem yet since OH and I just started actively trying (from NTNP). But if it did get to that point, I'd prolly not mention it to him and just "hint" at wanting to DtD.

BTW really nice thread



 
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