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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 23:55 PM   31
Aelanu
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She sponges off her family and her boyfriend (who already had 5 kids prior to my godson) and the only reason she got pregnant is because her and boyfriend had a wild night on some Ecstasy and well- here my Tae Tae is (his name is Savun'Tae). She stupidly thought she was infertile though (you know...with all the pill popping and such)- but she was 19 at the time.

It makes me want to take him away from her because she doesn't deserve him



 
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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 23:58 PM   32
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Wow, she definitely wasn't using her head. It's sad when kids come into this world unplanned like that. Not just unplanned but unwanted. Pregnancies can be unplanned but more like "oh wow, I didn't expect this right now but I'm happy!!" and then there's "oh great, I don't want this at all!!" and be unhappy about it when you knew you could've prevented it. Now, there are women who use protection and get pregnant. That's cuz it's meant that way. But I don't blame you for wanting to take him away from her cuz she isn't doing her job!



 
Old Mar 28th, 2011, 00:25 AM   33
Smokey_Bandit
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I agree with you on so many levels. My Best friends cousin got pregnant at 15. She had a wild drunken night and slept with 3 guys! and ended up pregnant. she had the baby and swore she would be a good mom to him, but not too long after his birth shes back to her pot smoking drunken party ways. she got high and drunk one night, while he was right in the room next to her. he cried all night. needless to say CSD was called and BOTH her and her son are in foster care. oh and BTW she still doesnt know who her sons father is, and shes still sleeping around with the same guys. so i also do not believe that girls that young should be having babies if they themselves cant grow up! BUT on the other hand my fiances sister got pregnant at 17, she got quite alot of sh*t from her family telling her she ruined her life blah blah blah.... needless to say she had her son, took care of him on her own, and finished highschool! now shes got a good job and takes care of her son. she is a great mother, and im proud to call her my sister n law, and to call her son my godson! hes one of the best 4 year olds! So i believe its all in how they act, if theyre big enough to step up and take care of thier child then okay but if they cant take responsibility for thier actions then they dont deserve the child.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 02:44 AM   34
dizzyjoo
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I agree on the most part - but if the teens turn out to be good Mum's - fair play to them. Its when they are rubbish Mum's, who still smoke - still go out and leave their babies with babysitters every night, the Mum's who let them drink coke, or have seriously unhealthy food. I'm not saying its ALL young Mum's but there are a lot of them.

In the UK there are lots of teenagers who will get pregnant to get some form of social housing so they can move out of home. It really does happen.

Julie xxx



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 02:53 AM   35
kate1984
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Some teenage mums have more patience and are better role models that some 30 or 40+ first time mums. it comes down to the individual.

i feel sad when i see a very young mum as i know what they will miss out on but they dont need to be judges they are the same as all mums just the years lived are a little less



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 03:25 AM   36
kates84
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Teenagers who get pregnant miss out on a lot in life, there is no denying it and I certainly don't advocate it.

That said, I know of a number of people in their twenties, thirties and beyond who are just as irresponsible and not ready for children as any teen Mum. And some teen Mums are actually fantastic. If they take care of their child, don't sponge off the state for years and years on end and give their child the best life they can, then I have enormous respect for them.

Yes, teens should use birth control. But saying that to a girl who is already pregnant isn't helpful. What is she to do? Abortion? Well as we see on many judgemental posts on this board, some people have stong moral objections to it. Put the child up for adoption? Far easier said than done and I'd rather not see a return to the time when it was obligatory.

I've been trying to conceive for 10 months now and don't even ovulate for some reason. A lot of teenagers are able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. But it's not their fault I haven't gotten pregnant and if they turn out to be good parents, they deserve their child every bit as much as any member of this board, including myself.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 03:36 AM   37
vikki1978
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kates84 View Post
Teenagers who get pregnant miss out on a lot in life, there is no denying it and I certainly don't advocate it.

That said, I know of a number of people in their twenties, thirties and beyond who are just as irresponsible and not ready for children as any teen Mum. And some teen Mums are actually fantastic. If they take care of their child, don't sponge off the state for years and years on end and give their child the best life they can, then I have enormous respect for them.

Yes, teens should use birth control. But saying that to a girl who is already pregnant isn't helpful. What is she to do? Abortion? Well as we see on many judgemental posts on this board, some people have stong moral objections to it. Put the child up for adoption? Far easier said than done and I'd rather not see a return to the time when it was obligatory.

I've been trying to conceive for 10 months now and don't even ovulate for some reason. A lot of teenagers are able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. But it's not their fault I haven't gotten pregnant and if they turn out to be good parents, they deserve their child every bit as much as any member of this board, including myself.
Totally agree-life isnt as cut and dried as we would all like. These things happen and these teens need support not judgement. Not every teen mother is a bad one. I know from my own experience that there are some very good ones who would older mothers to shame but thats just how it is. Everybody is different and its not just down to age.

I was 17 when i fell pregnant with my daughter-im 32 now and am with the same partner and we have 4 children together. He has always worked hard to support us and everyone comments on how we have brought our children up so well.

I realise my situation isnt always the case and i understand where you are coming from in some ways-especially when you see a child being born to somebody completely irresponsible and you know given the chance you would do a better job but you will have your chance to be a great mum. Its extremely sad but there are exceptions-not all teens make bad parents-same as all older parents dont automatically make good ones.



 
Old Mar 28th, 2011, 03:41 AM   38
TeiganMax
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I think this post is totally unfair and prejudice lagainst every 14/15/16 year old girl who has ever had a baby whether it is planned or not. Im 24 now and I had my daughter when I was just a week over 17 so yeah that would have meant I was the dreaded 16 years old. Yeah i will be the first to admit that I didnt have much money but do you know what my daughter never went without. I would have gone hungry if it meant I could have given her anything. I was with her dad for 5 years before I ACCIDENTLY got pregnant. We split when she was one and do you know what. I went to university and now nearly 7 years on im a qualified nurse and I am currently trying for my second. I know its a free country and you can have your own opinion and this is mine!!!! I am first to hold my hand up and say that there are many girls out there who plan to get preg at 14/15 so they can have the benefits and house that the council willingly give out. BUT there are other girls out there who do fall pregnant accidently and make something of there lives and yeah so what if they are 14/15/16. Its the ones who dont you should be slagging off!!!!!



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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 04:01 AM   39
Tasha
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I really dislike this sort of post, it comes across as rude and judgemental. I dont get the difference between you getting pregnant at say 17 and 8 months, and someone getting pregnant at 17 and 3 months (you said the last four months are okay), it comes across as cos I did it, it must be okay, little bit hypocritical maybe.

The first post seems to make assumptions that any girl who is pregnant at that age is not using contraception, well accidents happen, so no need for the strap up or use birth control pills, type comments.

You know these girls/women have most of society judging them, making assumptions about their personalities, how they got pregnant, why they got pregnant, how they support them/their baby, who the father is, what sort of pregnancy they will have, what sort of mother they will become and the list goes on and on. So IMO there are two things we should do, one consider how YOU would feel if your baby had not grown its wings and you read this post about YOU (say if it were all mothers who got pregnant under 18, 19 or 20). The other is, remember this is a support forum, with lots of young women who are teen mum's, a support forum is for support not for putting down or judging just because their circumstances are different to yours.

I also want to say, every single teen Mum I know is a great mother, who works damn hard to make their baby as happy as possible, many are studying and/or working in order to create a better life for those little ones and themselves, these girls should be supported and we should be proud of them for making the most of (and becoming the best Mummy they can) the situation, even though we might not chose to be in that position ourselves.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 04:04 AM   40
Tasha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzyjoo View Post
I agree on the most part - but if the teens turn out to be good Mum's - fair play to them. Its when they are rubbish Mum's, who still smoke - still go out and leave their babies with babysitters every night, the Mum's who let them drink coke, or have seriously unhealthy food. I'm not saying its ALL young Mum's but there are a lot of them.

In the UK there are lots of teenagers who will get pregnant to get some form of social housing so they can move out of home. It really does happen.

Julie xxx
I see just as many non-teen mum's in these situations of let them drink coke, babysitters every night etc etc.

There are hardly any social housing, so no most dont get a house just cos they have a baby, most council waiting lists are between 3 and 8 years for people who are in priority.



 
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