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Old May 10th, 2011, 07:48 AM   41
Wannabe Mommy
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My DH thinks far too much about everything and it can lead to an inability to complete the job!!

The first few weeks we were TTC he was so anxious about performing that it just kept falling flat

So I now don't tell him anything at all about my cycles and have stopped marking my periods on the wall calendar so he has no idea what is happening when. I regularly jump him and then make sure he gets pleasure without intercourse so that he knows I don't just want him for his little swimmers.

He is a very happy chappy now and I can guarantee he will be in the mood and able when I need him to be.

Limited information is definitely the way to go



 
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Old May 10th, 2011, 07:50 AM   42
AmaryllisRed
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I have to agree about the visual thing. I don't understand it, but my man is pretty much obsessed with lingerie.
I felt bad-- a few nights ago, I knew I was fertile and it was crucial that we dtd, but he said he had a stomachache. Finally, he goes, you're not even naked. So I get naked, and he tries to act interested, but he couldn't finish because his stomach hurt that bad. I felt horrible.
I think it's important not to mention ovulating or babies... Just has the complete opposite effect on them.



 
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Old May 10th, 2011, 09:28 AM   43
kellyharrison
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well im SO glad I read this forum!

We have a 2 half year old and we both work so were either busy, eating, sleeping or tidying!! Sex happens once a week if were lucky and (sorry if this is too much info) but we tend to do things on the fly and never "finish" the way your supposed to.

We've been off the pill for 6 months but this was mainly for me as I couldnt handle my high pressured job, being a mom aswell as the hormone changes etc etc.

This month we have the green light to start trying - and I became aware that I was fertile yesterday and I told him - so we tried to do the deed this morning and it really made him feel pressured and he couldnt "finish" correctly, in fact he couldnt finish at all. I felt awful. I am NEVER gonna discuss my fertility with him - poor guy didnt enjoy it at all



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Old May 10th, 2011, 11:13 AM   44
winterbaby86
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ive experienced EXACTLY the same this month! weve always had an active sex life and ive never had to ask for it yet this month, despite him wanting to conceive as much as i do, he's started to have problems getting hard around the time of ovulation. he says its himself putting too much pressure to make it happen and at first i felt all the same things others have like - does he not want this anymore? does he not fancy me? its such a stressful, horrible experience isnt it?!



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Old May 10th, 2011, 14:06 PM   45
PoasCrazy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatdamatter View Post
Okay, so we've been ttc for 3 weeks. yeah, thats it. I had a feeling this day would come and I think it has. David is all for TTC. He can't wait just like me but I think he's kinda of getting overwhelmed with it. I'm trying to not be a pest about it and just let the sex come naturally. Well naturally I want it....a lot. Not only because we are TTC but it was like this before, well sort of.... anyways he's kind of backed off from the booty wagon and i've tried to tell myself its because he's so sleepy after working two jobs but i cant seem to shake the feeling that he's not really into this anymore. its only been three weeks. i want this more than anything and i know he does too. come on ladies help me relax a little.

My husband is always too tired for sex, NEVER too tired to try to get a BJ... I keep trying to tell him I can't get pregnant from my vibrator. He dosen't want sex but he constantly asks me if I am pregnant yet. I swear If he asks me again I might hit him with a frying pan.... Does he think I won't tell him



 
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Old May 10th, 2011, 15:30 PM   46
MissCourtneyP
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Definitely let some of the pressure off them! OH wants a baby just as bad as I do, but he doesnt care how long it takes...so each month it doesn't happen, he's like "It's okay baby, I like trying!" and I think it really helps that I'm just like "baby, I'm horny" or something of the like...he asks when I'm fertile and I'll answer as vaguely as possible. They just dont want to know those details, and honestly, I think it's hard for them to grasp. I think it kind of helps that when we first started trying and he was freaking out at the possibility that we'd made a baby (way to early in my cycle though, but he had no clue lol) I was just kind of like "it's nothing to freak out about...it could take up to a year of full on trying, or it could happen tomorrow. But no matter what, we'll make it work and when it happens it happens." So he feels like I'm not all "WE-HAVE-TO-GET-PREGGERS-RIGHT-NOW! DO-YOU-HEAR-ME!?!?!" (even though inside, I'm totally yelling that daily!)

Our relationship has taken a very light hearted turn for the better in general though. We really try to make sure every day is fun, and full of laughter. We goof around and play fight, and have tickling matches and just generally act like idiots. It makes it MUCH easier to handle the super stressful situations that come up (which, unfortunately are more often than not around here), and make it easier to come together and support each other through those times. So when it comes to TTC we've taken the same approach.

Before we took that approach, I used to stand in front of him naked and he'd still turn me down. Literally begging him for any type of affection. But we were both stressed out, and keeping everything bottled up inside and just generally in a rut. We've still got a lot going on now, and lots to be stressed about..but being light hearted about life in general has really helped keep the love alive, and helped in the whole TTC thing too!



 
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Old May 12th, 2011, 03:32 AM   47
kellyharrison
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winterbaby86 View Post
ive experienced EXACTLY the same this month! weve always had an active sex life and ive never had to ask for it yet this month, despite him wanting to conceive as much as i do, he's started to have problems getting hard around the time of ovulation. he says its himself putting too much pressure to make it happen and at first i felt all the same things others have like - does he not want this anymore? does he not fancy me? its such a stressful, horrible experience isnt it?!
to winterbaby86 - feeling rather the same mate! first the first time I dont feel attractive at all! PANTS



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