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Old Mar 17th, 2012, 00:33 AM   1
Trying to conceive (TTC)
New BnB Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 8

Did not think this would be so hard!!!

Hi ladies, i am 29 and my hubby and I started TTC in October. I went off the pill in June, but I had been on it for about 10 years.. in 2008, I was diagnosed with mild endometriosis due to cramping all the time, and I had laparoscopic surgery - they found and removed tissue from the right ovary. Since then I stayed on the pill as treatment for endo until June, when I went off so that I would give let my body get back to normal for TTC.

While I didnt actually think that it would be so difficult getting prego, I also had extreme anxiety about making it happen quicky so that the endo would not have opportunity to get worse.. This was part of my stress and anxiety. And then suddenly everyone ( or so it seemed) started getting pregnant around me but me. My colleague, who got prego on her first try, my best friend got prego on her 2nd try. Friends, friends of friends, people on fb announcing pregnancies... Now even an acquaintance who somehow got pregnant despite having an iud in. How frustrating is that???!! I mean i know its not good for her, and i feel bad for her, however come on - really!?.?? It just feels like everyone is moving on and having babies and we are being left behind....

Dont get me wrong- we are happy, we have been married almost 2 years, together for 7, have 2 great pets, have good jobs, a nice house, supportive families. And im so happy for my friends who are preggo. But the lack of control in this was driving me crazy!

And its been 5 months now. The first 4 months were the worst! I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Now though im feeling better, less stress, anxiety and less crazy emotions. Im on the ferris wheel. Haha. I can actually face pregnant people and not feel horribly horribly jealous at the thought of them being pregnant. I attribute this to getting help. Taking control over something that i could have control over...i went to a chinese fertility doctor, started doing acupuncture, and quit eating gluten, sugar, coffee and dairy, at their advice. I continued and increased my exercise (walking, yoga). Not only has my emotional health improved, i have fewer if any PMS symptoms, no acne, no breast tenderness (which I would get 1-2 weeks before my period), less cramping, and no premenstrual spotting ( which i would get 3-4 days pre-period).

Ladies, if you get premenstrual spotting - it is common but i was told not normal or healthy - it could mean that your hormone levels are off.. Now i havent gotten these tested yet and granted, the changes in diet and acupuncture are fairly recent (1 month) but i really believe this has made such a big difference.

Now to my current dilemma--- i usually have a 31/32 day cycle. I am on day 34 and no period, no spotting. I have had sporadic cramping. My abdomen has felt tight, bloated, ive had twingy pain that comes and goes... I get queasy when Im hungry, but this is not uncommon for me. Today my boobs began getting sore, but not as bad as they have before, and they are heavy and full. I did have one longer 35 day cycle in Oct/Nov, however i attributed this to high stress travel, being sick, jet lag, etc. i tracked my bbt for the first time this cycle, and apparently i have had a triphasic cycle, with high points on day 17, 21 and again on day26. Temps are holding now At 37C/98.6F today, day 34. I took a test on day 31 and got a BFN.

I am so scared to test again. i dont want to see another BFN!!!!!!!!

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