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Old Mar 22nd, 2012, 20:32 PM   1
hopingforit
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FML My sister might be pregnant!!!


I am going to rant here because I feel like I can get good support here.

My mother called me up today and she is the only one in my family who knows that DH and I are struggling with getting pregnant. I already got bad news this week that DH has sperm issues (one test was good sperm count but low motility and the other was low count (12 million) and good motility). We just got our first IUI done but I just have no hope anymore so I have no hope that it will work. Anyway, I was talking to her on the phone and she just out of nowhere says "call your sister". I never call my sister. I don't talk to her much...maybe the odd text here and there. I asked her why and she told me that she couldn't tell. Anyway, I thought something was seriously wrong so I told her to tell me. She comes out with "You're sister thinks she's pregnant. She took two tests and they came back positive." WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why in the hell would you tell me that????? My sister hasn't confirmed it yet but she "says" she has Mirena in. She was talking about wanting to get it out before so I don't doubt that she got it out and tried to get pregnant but is now just saying it was an "oops" thing. So, I called my sister and asked her if it was true and she was sooooo mad at my mom for telling me. My mom called me and starts getting upset at me saying "You're sister's mad at me now. You shouldn't have told her that I told you. Now she won't talk to me. I'm going to go to bed tonight and not be able to sleep because she is mad at me." Oh, then I got really upset because my mother wasn't thinking about me in this situation. She was only thinking about my sister being upset, meanwhile I'm trying to hold back tears while telling my mother that she should have not told me and she doesn't understand what I'm going through. She then changes her tune to "I'm going to go to bed and not sleep because both my daughters are mad at me." What bull!!! She never would have thought about me in the situation if I hadn't got upset and told her off. She is the ONLY one who knows about our troubles and yet she finds it okay to out of nowhere tell me that my sister is probably pregnant???? Really????? I am just so pissed off right now. I hung up the phone on her while she was trying to explain herself. The thing about my mom is she can't keep things secret. I'm surprised she was able to keep our infertility struggle a secret. So, she just HAD to tell me as soon as she found out about my sister. My sister already has an almost 4 year old, she had a MMC after 1 month TTC in August 2010 and now she is pregnant yet again very easily. This is soooooo hard on me. I am just sooooo mad at my mother and so jealous of my sister. My DH is so healthy, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, takes care of himself. I take care of myself, never drink, never smoke. My sister and her fiance are both very overweight, both smokers, both drink, my sister used to be heavy on the marijuana and her fiance used to do cocaine but oh ya...it's so easy for them to get pregnant. I'm just in such a bad place right now. I feel so hurt by my mother and I was lashing out at DH when he started laughing about my sister being pregnant. i said it's not fucking funny. Stop laughing and he did come over and comfort me but I am just so hurt and pissed right now. I honestly want nothing to do with my insensitive mother right now.



*rant over*



 
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Old Mar 22nd, 2012, 21:44 PM   2
Clara006
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I am so sorry. 4 of my husband's cousins and 3 of my friends in the past 3 weeks have told me that they are pregnant, and it has crushed me, so I can't imagine how it would feel to have the one person I entrusted with this delicate information to be so insensitive and hurtful...try to rememeber why you told her in the first place, because you love her and she loves you. (not that it makes what she did right, or takes away any of the pain)
It's incredibly unfair how the people that want and deserve a baby the MOST are the people that struggle with creating their miracle, and others take their children and fertility for granted. I would take sometime for yourself and when your ready have a constructive and honest conversation with your mother, otherwise you may begin to feel long term resentment.
I will keep you and your husband in our prayers....with enough of them coming in someone upstairs eventually has to listen, right??



 
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Old Mar 22nd, 2012, 21:53 PM   3
hopingforit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clara006 View Post
I am so sorry. 4 of my husband's cousins and 3 of my friends in the past 3 weeks have told me that they are pregnant, and it has crushed me, so I can't imagine how it would feel to have the one person I entrusted with this delicate information to be so insensitive and hurtful...try to rememeber why you told her in the first place, because you love her and she loves you. (not that it makes what she did right, or takes away any of the pain)
It's incredibly unfair how the people that want and deserve a baby the MOST are the people that struggle with creating their miracle, and others take their children and fertility for granted. I would take sometime for yourself and when your ready have a constructive and honest conversation with your mother, otherwise you may begin to feel long term resentment.
I will keep you and your husband in our prayers....with enough of them coming in someone upstairs eventually has to listen, right??
Thank you for your answer. Actually the only reason I told my mother was because she constantly made me feel guilty for not getting pregnant. I tried the whole we aren't ready thing yet but she told me that I needed to give her a grandchild and I was never going to etc. it made me feel terrible so I just told her the truth. Its just do hard with the bad news I've been getting this week. I'm probably going to do what you said and just take some time before talking to her again. I'm just not in the mood to talk now.

Prayers always help I've been praying that this is our cycle everyday.

Than you again. That was a long rant so I'm glad you took the time.



 
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Old Mar 22nd, 2012, 22:05 PM   4
Clara006
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Well, it definitely sounds like you need to have a sit down with your mother, but i'm glad you are going to take time for yourself first! Prayers and baby dust are coming your way!!

I love the support we all receive from this forum, it reminds us that we're not in it alone



 
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Old Mar 22nd, 2012, 22:07 PM   5
KeyannasMama
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Im so sorry. I know how you feel, i've been ttc for a year and my sister got pregnant easily a few months ago. The worst part is that I live with her, so I have to watch her belly grow and hear her talk about it all the time. I avoid her as much as possible now because I just cant stand it.



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Old Mar 22nd, 2012, 22:40 PM   6
leanalamont
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dont feel bad ive been trying to conceive some months now and i know two lesbains that have never had sex with a man but are pregnant, and i also have a friend that has 5 kids none of them live with her and yet god keeps blessing her to have kids, also my neighbor smokes and drank during her pregnancy and yet shes on number six so i understand you being upset just remember stress affects your cycle so jus try your best to ignore what goes on in other ppl life and just know that your time is coming soon. My husband leaves for korea in july and im sooooooooooooooo on a time limit and if we dont conceive i just have to find a way to be okay with this for another year my 12 year old just doesnt understand that its harder you than think, if only it was so easy for me as it is for other couples, well heres to hope!!!



 
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Old Mar 23rd, 2012, 04:42 AM   7
Leafy
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try and stay strong (i know it's hard) and fingers crossed you might be pregnant too!! xx



 
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Old Mar 23rd, 2012, 07:42 AM   8
hopingforit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clara006 View Post
Well, it definitely sounds like you need to have a sit down with your mother, but i'm glad you are going to take time for yourself first! Prayers and baby dust are coming your way!!

I love the support we all receive from this forum, it reminds us that we're not in it alone
This forum is so wonderful. My DH tries to give me support but he can't fully understand what I'm going through so I love being able to come on here and get support. Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KeyannasMama View Post
Im so sorry. I know how you feel, i've been ttc for a year and my sister got pregnant easily a few months ago. The worst part is that I live with her, so I have to watch her belly grow and hear her talk about it all the time. I avoid her as much as possible now because I just cant stand it.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. It must be hard having to see her everyday. On the plus side, once you've been TTC for a year, you can see a Dr about it. Sending you lots of Hopefully you get pregnant soon too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by leanalamont View Post
dont feel bad ive been trying to conceive some months now and i know two lesbains that have never had sex with a man but are pregnant, and i also have a friend that has 5 kids none of them live with her and yet god keeps blessing her to have kids, also my neighbor smokes and drank during her pregnancy and yet shes on number six so i understand you being upset just remember stress affects your cycle so jus try your best to ignore what goes on in other ppl life and just know that your time is coming soon. My husband leaves for korea in july and im sooooooooooooooo on a time limit and if we dont conceive i just have to find a way to be okay with this for another year my 12 year old just doesnt understand that its harder you than think, if only it was so easy for me as it is for other couples, well heres to hope!!!
It's so hard right? My sister in law and brother have been NTNP for probably 3 years (I don't know if they took any time off) and I just feel bad for them if they find this out. Sadly, they don't have insurance so they can't go to the Dr to find out what's wrong. Even this week I learned that my Aunt who has been in and out of jail for drugs is expecting a girl.

We are taught in school that if you have sex once, you'll probably get knocked up but that is soooooo not true for the majority of women. It's definitely harder than you think. Hopefully you get pregnant before your DH goes to Korea! and

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leafy View Post
try and stay strong (i know it's hard) and fingers crossed you might be pregnant too!! xx
My DH keeps saying this to me. He has been very sweet and before he left for work today, he told me to promise I would be happy. Our time is coming. Thank you.



 
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Old Mar 23rd, 2012, 08:29 AM   9
TTCisapain
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Im so sorry and know how you feel. We were trying for 14 months and finally got pregnant only to MC after 7 weeks. 2 weeks after our miscarriage, I found out 6 of my FB friends are pregnant (1 was using BC pills). It is agravating and frustrating. I know I should be happy for people, but lets be honest ... we all get a jealous especially when it seems to come so easy to people that dont take care of themselves.

I will pray for you!! I dont know if you are religious or not, but prayer has worked to try and keep me somewhat sane!! During the "Our Father" my priest told me to stop after I say "thy will be done" and reflect on that ... it is pretty powerful.

If you are not religious, sorry about adding that part in ... but I will pray for you nonetheless.



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Old Mar 23rd, 2012, 08:39 AM   10
hopingforit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TTCisapain View Post
Im so sorry and know how you feel. We were trying for 14 months and finally got pregnant only to MC after 7 weeks. 2 weeks after our miscarriage, I found out 6 of my FB friends are pregnant (1 was using BC pills). It is agravating and frustrating. I know I should be happy for people, but lets be honest ... we all get a jealous especially when it seems to come so easy to people that dont take care of themselves.

I will pray for you!! I dont know if you are religious or not, but prayer has worked to try and keep me somewhat sane!! During the "Our Father" my priest told me to stop after I say "thy will be done" and reflect on that ... it is pretty powerful.

If you are not religious, sorry about adding that part in ... but I will pray for you nonetheless.
I'm sorry about your MC.

I am happy for people who get pregnant because then they don't have to go through the pain that I am going through. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. But at the same time, I am really jealous because I want that and most of the time, it is just an oops pregnancy.

I believe in God. I am not at all offended that you added that part in. Prayers are always appreciated. They can never hurt.

Sending to you. Hopefully you get pregnant soon!



 
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