Wondering if someone can please offer me a bit of advice, or just hugs!

My boyfriend and I decided to ttc, he said he is fully up for it but he doesn't show his excitement as much as me. I work with children so I am constantly reminded of how much I want to be a Mummy, where as he works with computers so it isn't always in the fore front of his mind.

I know he will be happy to be a Daddy, but I kind of feel like if I talk about it too much he shuts off, and today I said 'do you want me to tell you when its the time of the month when we can get pregnant, or just not say either way' and he chose for me to not tell him. We had unprotected sex last night, and he doesn't understand cycles or anything but when I said in conversation afterwards that it would be near impossible to get pregnant at that time in my cycle and it was just a nice change from using condoms ... well, he seemed to relax a bit then.

I am so unsure, I think I am nervous because I know how much I want this and I don't want to go ahead if he is unsure. I have asked him and he says he isn't, but he just gets a bit overwhelmed .... is that a normal man thing?

I kind of think he should want to know it all, and we should have great sex knowing full well we could be making a baby, and both be excited before, during and after ... not me not telling him so he doesn't freak out but is then happy if I do get pregnant (at the point where he has no choice) ...

yes that is normal. As long as you know he is okay with wanting a baby i would not share any of the TTC stuff with him unless he wants to know because they dont take it that well like we do. so dont get discouraged or think he doesnt care because he does! i have gone through this with my fiance and i have learned to keep things to myself and not tell him. he is okay with us having another child but says if it happens it will happen

Your story is so similar to what happened with me and my partner before we had our 1st LO. Totally understand what is happening. I imagine there is 2things going on, firstly while he is up for it its still a life changing decision and even though you can really want it its completely natural to be nervous. Second thing is that men as far as i know are super sensitive about fertility and put major pressure on themselves to perform so for you to say that it would be near impossible to concieve at that time takes major pressure off. Guys dont show the same excitement as us girls anyway its different. Id say just thread lightly and let the plan sink in a bit more.

Aw, thank you so much for your reply. I have silently being going mad worrying that he isn't fully on board because of it but I suppose it is different between men and women. Will have to keep coming on here before I explode from thinking non-stop about tic!

Thank you, it is so comforting to know its not just me, and it is normal. The reasons you said make total sense, i feel so much better now

im glad we were able to help i went thru tons of arguments before i understood good luck to u