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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 12:07 PM   41
jen435
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Thinkpositiv that's nuts they are monitoring your drinking habits! They know how badly you want a child and about your losses so it would be so kind of them to just let it be til it happens and your ready to tell them. I'm so sorry you have this pressure on you with them.

Storked welcome! Im very sorry for your loss. If your trying again I'm wishing you the best! I have heard that after a d&c your first true at can be light. I completely understand what you mean about trying to be excited for people you close to when they don't understand how it feels to go through a loss of a child. I have a friend that found out I was trying for almost a year to get pregnant with my first so she told me two months later she was pregnant. I was upset because she wasn't even trying and I was going on my 11th month trying. That month i got pregnant though finally with my first. She had her baby shower on the day of my d&c and was mad I didn't attend. Its so hard to accept that she is having her first and i lost my first. My sister is 20 with a 2yr old daughter and my sister in law has two boys. So I'm constantly around then and it so hard to see your friends/fam have children and then have ppl ask you when I'm going to have my own... its so hard to face this now with a loss... my neighbors just asked me this question the other day. All well its part of life I guess we will just have to pull through this and hopefully soon we can be excited about telling others we are expecting. But I know secretly we will be so cautious and nervous at the same time.



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 16:17 PM   42
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Thinkpositiv that's nuts they are monitoring your drinking habits! They know how badly you want a child and about your losses so it would be so kind of them to just let it be til it happens and your ready to tell them. I'm so sorry you have this pressure on you with them.

Storked welcome! Im very sorry for your loss. If your trying again I'm wishing you the best! I have heard that after a d&c your first true at can be light. I completely understand what you mean about trying to be excited for people you close to when they don't understand how it feels to go through a loss of a child. I have a friend that found out I was trying for almost a year to get pregnant with my first so she told me two months later she was pregnant. I was upset because she wasn't even trying and I was going on my 11th month trying. That month i got pregnant though finally with my first. She had her baby shower on the day of my d&c and was mad I didn't attend. Its so hard to accept that she is having her first and i lost my first. My sister is 20 with a 2yr old daughter and my sister in law has two boys. So I'm constantly around then and it so hard to see your friends/fam have children and then have ppl ask you when I'm going to have my own... its so hard to face this now with a loss... my neighbors just asked me this question the other day. All well its part of life I guess we will just have to pull through this and hopefully soon we can be excited about telling others we are expecting. But I know secretly we will be so cautious and nervous at the same time.
Oh jen435 everything you said was exactly how I have felt. I have 3 sisters and my family is so fertile that miscarriage is practically unheard of. I have 16 nieces and nephews and...and my oldest niece became pregnant before me. And she didn't want hers so it hurts that she is soon to have a healthy baby boy and I have nothing. I adopted a sweet kitten though and can mother him at least but he doesn't replace my baby. I will be TTC this cycle but my not sure how out of wack my body is right now. Have thought about buying OPKs to see if I'm even going to ovulate.
I cannot believe that your friend was so selfish that she couldn't understand why you couldn't attend her shower! That is terrible. Pregnant women can be very...self-absorbed I have noticed. And they always complain about being pregnant. I wonder how they can complain when I miss morning sickness
I never understand why people ask when you are going to have children- I have never asked someone that. It is mean. I am so sorry you face it very often. My family and friends mostly ask how I am doing and where I am in my cycle



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 16:36 PM   43
lilesMom
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Thinkpositiv that's nuts they are monitoring your drinking habits! They know how badly you want a child and about your losses so it would be so kind of them to just let it be til it happens and your ready to tell them. I'm so sorry you have this pressure on you with them.

Storked welcome! Im very sorry for your loss. If your trying again I'm wishing you the best! I have heard that after a d&c your first true at can be light. I completely understand what you mean about trying to be excited for people you close to when they don't understand how it feels to go through a loss of a child. I have a friend that found out I was trying for almost a year to get pregnant with my first so she told me two months later she was pregnant. I was upset because she wasn't even trying and I was going on my 11th month trying. That month i got pregnant though finally with my first. She had her baby shower on the day of my d&c and was mad I didn't attend. Its so hard to accept that she is having her first and i lost my first. My sister is 20 with a 2yr old daughter and my sister in law has two boys. So I'm constantly around then and it so hard to see your friends/fam have children and then have ppl ask you when I'm going to have my own... its so hard to face this now with a loss... my neighbors just asked me this question the other day. All well its part of life I guess we will just have to pull through this and hopefully soon we can be excited about telling others we are expecting. But I know secretly we will be so cautious and nervous at the same time.
Oh jen435 everything you said was exactly how I have felt. I have 3 sisters and my family is so fertile that miscarriage is practically unheard of. I have 16 nieces and nephews and...and my oldest niece became pregnant before me. And she didn't want hers so it hurts that she is soon to have a healthy baby boy and I have nothing. I adopted a sweet kitten though and can mother him at least but he doesn't replace my baby. I will be TTC this cycle but my not sure how out of wack my body is right now. Have thought about buying OPKs to see if I'm even going to ovulate.
I cannot believe that your friend was so selfish that she couldn't understand why you couldn't attend her shower! That is terrible. Pregnant women can be very...self-absorbed I have noticed. And they always complain about being pregnant. I wonder how they can complain when I miss morning sickness
I never understand why people ask when you are going to have children- I have never asked someone that. It is mean. I am so sorry you face it very often. My family and friends mostly ask how I am doing and where I am in my cycle


welcome storked, god i totally know what u mean my niece is 24 weeks pregnant and she complaining to me about having indigestion the other day, all i could think was i wish i got to that stage. i miscarried my first and had d and c 2 weeks ago, i must be a way better actor than i think cos people seem to think im fine .
had my first day back to work today and it was alright . everyone knew i was pregnant cos i got so excited when i was and thought nothing would ever happen to me stupidly and told them at 7 weeks, doh!
one of the guys cam eup to me all excited and congratulated me on being pregnant and i had to tell him i wasnt any more, he was mortified , think it upset him more than me
about half way through the day i thought my face would crack from fake smiling all day and tellin all i was fine and getting back to normal!!!
people already asking me today too when im trying again, arggghhh give me a chance to get over it and start ttc before u start bump watch please.
i made it to my car after the whole day but i cried all the way home. so sick of feeling crappy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry guys i need to rant some where r i go insane. thanks for ur help on the trying again issue and hope ye had a better day than me xxxxxxxxxxxx



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 16:46 PM   44
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Thinkpositiv that's nuts they are monitoring your drinking habits! They know how badly you want a child and about your losses so it would be so kind of them to just let it be til it happens and your ready to tell them. I'm so sorry you have this pressure on you with them.

Storked welcome! Im very sorry for your loss. If your trying again I'm wishing you the best! I have heard that after a d&c your first true at can be light. I completely understand what you mean about trying to be excited for people you close to when they don't understand how it feels to go through a loss of a child. I have a friend that found out I was trying for almost a year to get pregnant with my first so she told me two months later she was pregnant. I was upset because she wasn't even trying and I was going on my 11th month trying. That month i got pregnant though finally with my first. She had her baby shower on the day of my d&c and was mad I didn't attend. Its so hard to accept that she is having her first and i lost my first. My sister is 20 with a 2yr old daughter and my sister in law has two boys. So I'm constantly around then and it so hard to see your friends/fam have children and then have ppl ask you when I'm going to have my own... its so hard to face this now with a loss... my neighbors just asked me this question the other day. All well its part of life I guess we will just have to pull through this and hopefully soon we can be excited about telling others we are expecting. But I know secretly we will be so cautious and nervous at the same time.
Oh jen435 everything you said was exactly how I have felt. I have 3 sisters and my family is so fertile that miscarriage is practically unheard of. I have 16 nieces and nephews and...and my oldest niece became pregnant before me. And she didn't want hers so it hurts that she is soon to have a healthy baby boy and I have nothing. I adopted a sweet kitten though and can mother him at least but he doesn't replace my baby. I will be TTC this cycle but my not sure how out of wack my body is right now. Have thought about buying OPKs to see if I'm even going to ovulate.
I cannot believe that your friend was so selfish that she couldn't understand why you couldn't attend her shower! That is terrible. Pregnant women can be very...self-absorbed I have noticed. And they always complain about being pregnant. I wonder how they can complain when I miss morning sickness
I never understand why people ask when you are going to have children- I have never asked someone that. It is mean. I am so sorry you face it very often. My family and friends mostly ask how I am doing and where I am in my cycle


welcome storked, god i totally know what u mean my niece is 24 weeks pregnant and she complaining to me about having indigestion the other day, all i could think was i wish i got to that stage. i miscarried my first and had d and c 2 weeks ago, i must be a way better actor than i think cos people seem to think im fine .
had my first day back to work today and it was alright . everyone knew i was pregnant cos i got so excited when i was and thought nothing would ever happen to me stupidly and told them at 7 weeks, doh!
one of the guys cam eup to me all excited and congratulated me on being pregnant and i had to tell him i wasnt any more, he was mortified , think it upset him more than me
about half way through the day i thought my face would crack from fake smiling all day and tellin all i was fine and getting back to normal!!!
people already asking me today too when im trying again, arggghhh give me a chance to get over it and start ttc before u start bump watch please.
i made it to my car after the whole day but i cried all the way home. so sick of feeling crappy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry guys i need to rant some where r i go insane. thanks for ur help on the trying again issue and hope ye had a better day than me xxxxxxxxxxxx

Rant away- venting is therapy!
Yeah we told family and a few people at church but thankfully that was it. But the people at church don't know about my loss and I dread the day they ask where my belly is!
Yeah my niece texts me EVERY DAY with complaints and I think the same exact thing! She asked me if I was coming to her shower today and I bluntly told her that I am incapable of faking enthusiasm for her. She took it well though.
You don't have to pretend to be ok. Absolutely wail if you want. You may feel better! After my D&C my DH was pretending happiness but I was pretty openly sad and I started reading romance books again- those things are pure joy. You know that it will end happily. I needed to derive joy from something!
Am just now getting to where I can read anything about babies. I avoid pregnancy books though but will read childbirth books.



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 16:48 PM   45
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jen435, forgot to add that I think next time I will also be more cautious and nervous. I don't think I'll feel detached from the baby, just really, really scared. You?



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 16:55 PM   46
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thanks babe, i been reading too again lately its a good distraction.

i have cried loads but i am so sick of it, im normally a happy person and really wanna get back to that. im faking it for now cos i cant quite feel it a lot of the time. im fine with my proper friends but the people who are casual friends i fake it
it def feels a little better to say it here and get a response form someone who knows the yuckiness of it all
thanks.
there are so many nice people on here its great.

i texted loads of people to let them know cos it was easier than sayin it or bumping into them and having the qs. could u let someone in church know like that maybe?
ur dead right about ur nieces shower and she understands so its all the better

i work in the hosp that i had my d and c in so it prob made it a bit extra hard goin back to work. even saw some of the staff that dealt with me that day today.

i cant wait to be normal again



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 17:25 PM   47
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thanks babe, i been reading too again lately its a good distraction.

i have cried loads but i am so sick of it, im normally a happy person and really wanna get back to that. im faking it for now cos i cant quite feel it a lot of the time. im fine with my proper friends but the people who are casual friends i fake it
it def feels a little better to say it here and get a response form someone who knows the yuckiness of it all
thanks.
there are so many nice people on here its great.

i texted loads of people to let them know cos it was easier than sayin it or bumping into them and having the qs. could u let someone in church know like that maybe?
ur dead right about ur nieces shower and she understands so its all the better

i work in the hosp that i had my d and c in so it prob made it a bit extra hard goin back to work. even saw some of the staff that dealt with me that day today.

i cant wait to be normal again
Oh goodness that has to be rough to work with the people who had to give you your D&C
Hope you start feeling better soon!
As for the church people, I don't know their cells but it was *hopefully* just men who knew (unless they told their wives) and men are unobservant so they may not notice anything for a year! Hehe, My DH and I are cub scout leaders and told the other leaders because sometimes I was too sick to attend on Wednesdays
Whatcha reading? I love books. It is my biggest hobby. Other people do crafty things, I sit and read



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 17:35 PM   48
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storked- if its just guys u will prob have a five yr old taggin along with u before they notice hope u dont have akward situations, if its like my guy today he couldnt get away fast enough so the akwardness doesnt last long

i saw ur post to jen and i think ur right , i think i will just be scared , hope i dont feel detached, dont wanna miss out on the joy of it just cos i got burned once
but i suppose we wont know till we r in that position hopefully soon for all

im reading a book called 'some kind of wonderfull' by sarah webb. its not bad entertaining enough but id read anything really. i love reading too , could go through 2 books on a day off easy peasy
always thinking i should take up a more constructive hobby but i love reading



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 17:45 PM   49
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Thinkpositiv that's nuts they are monitoring your drinking habits! They know how badly you want a child and about your losses so it would be so kind of them to just let it be til it happens and your ready to tell them. I'm so sorry you have this pressure on you with them.

Storked welcome! Im very sorry for your loss. If your trying again I'm wishing you the best! I have heard that after a d&c your first true at can be light. I completely understand what you mean about trying to be excited for people you close to when they don't understand how it feels to go through a loss of a child. I have a friend that found out I was trying for almost a year to get pregnant with my first so she told me two months later she was pregnant. I was upset because she wasn't even trying and I was going on my 11th month trying. That month i got pregnant though finally with my first. She had her baby shower on the day of my d&c and was mad I didn't attend. Its so hard to accept that she is having her first and i lost my first. My sister is 20 with a 2yr old daughter and my sister in law has two boys. So I'm constantly around then and it so hard to see your friends/fam have children and then have ppl ask you when I'm going to have my own... its so hard to face this now with a loss... my neighbors just asked me this question the other day. All well its part of life I guess we will just have to pull through this and hopefully soon we can be excited about telling others we are expecting. But I know secretly we will be so cautious and nervous at the same time.
Oh jen435 everything you said was exactly how I have felt. I have 3 sisters and my family is so fertile that miscarriage is practically unheard of. I have 16 nieces and nephews and...and my oldest niece became pregnant before me. And she didn't want hers so it hurts that she is soon to have a healthy baby boy and I have nothing. I adopted a sweet kitten though and can mother him at least but he doesn't replace my baby. I will be TTC this cycle but my not sure how out of wack my body is right now. Have thought about buying OPKs to see if I'm even going to ovulate.
I cannot believe that your friend was so selfish that she couldn't understand why you couldn't attend her shower! That is terrible. Pregnant women can be very...self-absorbed I have noticed. And they always complain about being pregnant. I wonder how they can complain when I miss morning sickness
I never understand why people ask when you are going to have children- I have never asked someone that. It is mean. I am so sorry you face it very often. My family and friends mostly ask how I am doing and where I am in my cycle

my bro and sis in law had a little baby girl 2 days after my d and c , but they already had losses themselves and had pregnancy problems, even though i was sad i couldnt be anything but happy for them. it was hard handing her back after cuddles though. it s only seeing people who i dont think value their kids enough and hve no probs having them that upset me . i hve 11 older bro and sis and im only the 3rd to have a miscarriage out of all! and the other 2 arent blood related to me , all other problems the girls were the in laws so i was totally sure i wouldnt have any problem. oh well ...



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 17:52 PM   50
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storked- if its just guys u will prob have a five yr old taggin along with u before they notice hope u dont have akward situations, if its like my guy today he couldnt get away fast enough so the akwardness doesnt last long

i saw ur post to jen and i think ur right , i think i will just be scared , hope i dont feel detached, dont wanna miss out on the joy of it just cos i got burned once
but i suppose we wont know till we r in that position hopefully soon for all

im reading a book called 'some kind of wonderfull' by sarah webb. its not bad entertaining enough but id read anything really. i love reading too , could go through 2 books on a day off easy peasy
always thinking i should take up a more constructive hobby but i love reading
Poor guys really don't handle awkwardness well
I'm currently reading Ever Since Eve. I am liking it!
I hope we all get pregnant soon. I miss the joys and hopes
I don't think I'll feel detached but someone told me that after they got pregnant after a loss they kind of resented that pregnancy because they still wanted the other so badly. I don't think I will feel that way at all. Just scared mostly, which will cut into my joy a bit



 
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