Lol thanks ! I put those on myself bc ff gave me dotted ones on cd 15 but I know that was wrong because I had pos opks days 16, 17 and still basically positive on 18. I hate that my temps are such a mess though. I normally have pretty charts. Hey - at this point I'll take anything different though. The pretty charts didn't get me anywhere so maybe this mess will! Lol
Just woke up. mc was confirmed on Monday, hcg went down to 300's. Going in today (and probably the next two weeks) for more bloodwork to watch it drop to 0. I have pain on my left side, but us hurt too bad for dr. to find anything significant.
I finally told my mother and the few friends that knew on yesterday that we lost the baby. Teared up a bit, but quickly found other things to do to take my mind off of it.
Hubby got me sick yesterday, but it's gonna be a busy week for me so I'm just slowly trekking on.
Les, I read your journal today, it was so lovely. You're so strong and I love your connection with yourself.
Bee, I totally get how ff charts can drive you nuts. Fingers crossed for you!
ND - so, so sorry to hear that. there's really no consolation I could give right now, but at least it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. I'm so sorry to hear that this happened after trying for so long. I have heard a lot of success stories that after the body is pregnant, something clicks and it becomes fertile. I really hope this is the case for you and that you'll have your rainbow baby before you know it
at this point I am happy with my messed up chart. After months of beautiful charts that led to nothing, I'm welcoming any changes!
Oh ND I'm so sorry . Like bee said, there's sadly no words in moments like these, but we're always here to listen. That any of this happens to anyone just absolutely stinks! I'm glad you read through my journal. I hope it helped in some small way. Work is now a welcome distraction for me, but please do take a few days off if you need them. I spent the day we found out with DH, and then took the following Monday off too. I wasn't ready to face the world and pretend like nothing happened. The first two days back after that I felt (and looked) like a zombie. I amazingly still haven't actually caught the bad flu that's going around, but it was an excellent cover.
Haha bee, I agree different is good. I want you to know that I am thankful that it wasn't ectopic. As hard as MC is physically, it's not nearly as medically involved. I'm so very glad that you recovered so fast, and if there's anything making it harder now, I hope they find it. We all though spent our time pg hoping and dreaming of the baby we would hold in our arms (and worrying about something going wrong), so that's the same. We all lost that, and are still hoping for that baby.
I hope that we all have our loss out of the way and that there's a healthy happy next time in our futures!
The sadness is the same for sure - there's no denying that! I just know that a lot of women lose their tubes with ectopics and therefore the chances of future pregnancies decrease so the good news when it's not ectopic is that the probability of another baby shouldn't be lowered. So it's only good for the future, not for the present moment. Nothing will take the sadness away but I know something that helped me (that I wouldn't have thought about if it hadn't been the crazy situation that it was) was that I could try again with the "same" (at least they thought so!) chances. I probably have a different thought process with the whole thing since they prepped me for a hysterectomy, so I took solace, and still do, in the fact that I can give this whole thing another go.
So nurse called and my numbers today plateaued today so they want to do a dnc. I was just starting a meeting with my manager and had to step out to take the call. I was really bummed but had to go back to my meeting with a straight face. I only know the term dnc, not really what it entails, so I texted dh while in the meeting to tell him to look it up. Omg. I soooo dont wanna do that.
Honestly they have not confirmed if it's ectopic or not, my numbers never got high enough to view anything on us. I do have a pain on my left side , but the doctor is still unsure.
I eventually told my boss this evening and he was very supportive. But overall it was a pretty crappie day.
Today was reallying hard. I'm just thankful I was actually sick with a cold and was forced to stay home.
I had crazy lower back pain and cramping today with af starting full force. Felt awful. Feeling like new person right now though, glad that's over.
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