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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 16:54 PM   1
dakotarose
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Miscarriage at 13 weeks and now TTC


Hi everyone,

I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks this last November. Everything was fine and one day this pain started, I noticed it roughly 4 or 5 times that day and really didn't think too much of it, I guess I figured it was just strong growing pains. The next day, the pain was worse so I went to the ER and they ran all of the tests and everything was perfectly fine, my hormone levels were perfect and my baby was alive and moving around on the ultrasound screen. They said I had a case of BV and give me antibiotics and discharged me but I was in so much pain I could barely walk. We ran to my OB's office and they were able t see me right away and did a doppler and the heartbeat was good and they said it was ligament pains. I walked to my car and my water broke...in their parking lot and I ended up having my baby at home. How do you deal with that? I am still beyond angry and hurt, this was my first miscarriage after 3 live births, all healthy pregnancies. We are TTC now and honestly, the thought of having another baby helps ease the pain. Any advice with dealing with miscarriages and TTC after one?



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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 18:37 PM   2
HelenJane
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I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks in September. There was no reason for it to happen even after they did all the tests. They say it happens to 1 in 3 women at any stage of pregnancy. It's heartbreaking.

I was not even thinking about TTC afterwards untill i came on here and a lot of people were talking about how it healed them and the more i thought about it the more i realised they were right. That feeling when you have a baby there is nothing like it and i knew that would be the only thing that would help me heal.

So at first we just saw how it went no pressure if we didn't do it on the right days and the 3rd month i got a positive!
I couldn't quite believe we were so lucky again. I am now 12 weeks and really scared to be honest.

My advice would be to not put any pressure on yourselves and see how things go.
Also, When you do get pregnant again, try to remember it's a brand new pregnancy and nothing like your last as you do compare.



 
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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 19:15 PM   3
brittany12
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I miscarried at 10w baby was only measuring 9w. I started bleeding on 1/7/17 and on 1/9/17 I had an ultrasound before I was to have the D&C and they confirmed everything had passed. I stopped bleeding on 1/14/17 and have finally gotten negative hpt the past 2 days. My opk is still negative as well. I will be letting whatever happens, happen for the first few months and then if nothing, we will start the whole trying process.

The thought of another baby and pregnancy helps me. It will never replace the baby I lost, but some reason it eases the pain. Its still scary as anything though!



 
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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 20:53 PM   4
dakotarose
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HelenJane, That is amazing, congrats! Honestly, that is the only drawback I keep coming to is just being so nervous that it will happen again and stressing myself out when we do get pregnant. But like you said, its a new pregnancy. I really need to just stay positive.

Brittany12, that is basically what we are doing as well. I have an ovulation calculator app and we are just using that for now. I really don't want to put too much stress and pressure on it.



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Old Jan 23rd, 2017, 04:39 AM   5
HelenJane
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Yes you will be scared. You will be scared untill the baby is in your arms safe and well!



 
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Old Jan 23rd, 2017, 11:46 AM   6
mayacat
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I know the feeling. I lost my baby in Dec at 12 weeks after hearing a strong, healthy heartbeat 3 days earlier. I had been bleeding moderately for a week and a half prior to the miscarriage and was starting to think it was a hematoma, but it was my body realizing there was something not right with him. We found out we had lost him that afternoon when I went to get examined for a hematoma and I miscarried that night.

I think I handled it this time better than the first one, probably for several reasons. 1) Because I knew what had gone wrong (birth defect), even though this one was later. 2) We are not "trying" this month but I'm still tracking and keeping tabs of everything that's going on but we're not preventing it either. 3) We told everyone about this loss after it happened because I was so mad at it happening. I got a LOT of support on FB from people who I didn't know had losses who had actually had a few in a row.

The thought of getting pregnant again and playing with my little girl is helping me a lot this time around too. "Just keep swimming" as Dory says. Time is slowly healing and I know the odds are, next time will work. Hopefully the same goes for you as well



 
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Old Jan 26th, 2017, 17:13 PM   7
dakotarose
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This was my first miscarriage. I think the hardest thing to accept was getting to see him on the ultrasound moving and kicking and being told I have a healthy pregnancy, then giving birth to him an hour later. We had everything tested afterwards and he was fine, there were no defects or anything wrong they could find, which I feel doesn't give me any closure.



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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 09:36 AM   8
annio84
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Hi ladies,

I had a mmc a couple of weeks ago now. We had our 12 week scan on 28/12 and all was well. Baby was measuring 11+5 and moving and wriggling. At 14 weeks I had a tiny bit of brown spotting and when I went to get checked out he had no heartbeat and measured 11+6. I'm really still waiting for everything to be over. I keep thinking the bleeding has stopped and then it starts again. As soon as it stops we're trying again though. The only way I can think to feel better is to be pregnant again. My sister is pregnant (about 6 weeks ahead of where I was) and 4 people have announced pregnancies on facebook in the last 2 weeks due around the same time we would have been due.

Anyway, I'd like to join you if I can.



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 11:07 AM   9
dakotarose
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Im very sorry for your loss! it is true, in a crazy way TTC and thinking about being pregnant again is really the only thing that helps my grief. If I could go back to right after it happened, I would have made some kind of announcement that we had lost the baby. I figured I didn't want the attention from writing a post on Facebook about it but it backfired and continues to whenever I see someone I know and they ask about the about the baby and if we found out what we are having. ( I love in a semi small town so you are constantly running into people you know.

It does seem like as soon as it happened everyone on Facebook was pregnant. I had a D&C after my miscarriage and got my first period like 6 weeks after but I think my cycles are still messed up. I tried using OPKs and got a solid week of positives lol and then when it began to get faint then I started getting EWCM and spotted a bit haha and then was negative opks for a few days and started spotting this morning again. I couldn't even tell you when I ovulated. I think I am going to try to temp next cycle and not us the opks to see if I can pin point ovulation.



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 13:43 PM   10
annio84
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It's really tough when people who don't know ask about your baby. I think this is a big thing with a loss after 12 weeks - people know about the baby. I'm dreading going back to work because I don't know how many people know or don't. I should be nearly 17 weeks by now so I think people will notice I don't have a bump.

I have no idea what's going on with me but I just want this part to be over so that I can move on. Even if nothing happens before my first AF I still feel like I can't move even one step forward as long as I keep bleeding.

I've never used OPKs so I don't know anything about them and I've never temped because I work shifts but I hope it can work for you. It must really suck not to know where you're up to. We've always gone for the every other day approach rather than trying to time it.



 
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