I recently went through our second pregnancy loss. The first was a natural mc at 5-6 weeks, and shortly after I became pregnant again. It was a textbook pregnancy until it ended in an mmc at 12 weeks. This was a month ago, but I'm still crushed (and that is an understatement). My husband has been superbly supportive, but seeing other happily pregnant women is pure torture and the more my husband and family move on, the more I feel alone and left behind. I still remember the night in the ER where my doctor failed to find my baby's heartbeat with such vivid detail that I could freeze the moment in my mind and count the hairs on everyone's head. It is both isolating and debilitating.
We TTC-ed this first cycle after the D&C without success, but in retrospect, if I had become pregnant, I would have been a nervous wreck.
I know my story is far from the heartbreaking ones some ladies here have experienced, but for those of you who are willing to share - how do I get myself to accept that I will never be like most women who don't see the dark side of pregnancy and can truly enjoy the experience (or even take it for granted), and how do I prepare to be pregnant again without destroying myself with fear?
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