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Old May 23rd, 2017, 03:36 AM   11
KatBar
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So we have decided to try naturally for a few more times and if I carry on miscarrying do IVF.
Hi SweetKat,

Totally fair enough on trying a few more times before IVF. It certainly isn't a cheap option, and if there is a small chance you don't have to spend that money then why not! You'll have to keep me posted on how you go!

It is interesting about how you've got pregnant easily even with your OH having 4% morphology! My hubby's was 1-2% and we never got pregnant naturaly. After a year of trying, we got pregnant off our first IVF with ICSI attempt. We tried naturally for a few months before our first FET in December, but again, nothing. So for whatever reason, we only seem to be able to conceive naturally after a miscarriage.

Scan went well. Baby was measuring nicely at 6 weeks and 1 day, and there was a healthy heartbeat.
Of course, whilst it was amazing and I'm very pleased, it hasn't eased the aniexty much. I think it'll be another long 5-6 weeks before we can feel more confident (& that's if all continues to go well of course).
I've been quite crampy too. Not super painful, just mostly mild cramping on and off. Whilst I know it can be normal, I never got it with my son, so it naturally makes me quite nervous as well!

Anyway, good luck and let us know how you're doing!



 
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Old May 27th, 2017, 12:26 PM   12
mimi4
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A woman might experience mc in a situation of natural conceiving or via ivf. In case of 3 or more pregnancy loss, docs advise to dig dipper to find out the reasons. In most cases mc might happen cos of chromosomal aneuploidy, particularly during the 1st trimester. If genetics is the issue, one of the best solutions is combine ivf with pgs ngs.

So if you experience mcs, it's time to check in with yr doc and do additional testing. IVF itself won't solve a problem. Good luck x



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Old May 29th, 2017, 23:29 PM   13
Sweetkat
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How are you doing KatBar? Have you had any more scans?

Yesterday was CD13 for me and after agonising whether to try or not/ to do IVF or not - decided to have unprotected sex . So that's that - I normally ovulate around day 15-16 so everything very crossed



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Old May 29th, 2017, 23:57 PM   14
KatBar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetkat View Post
How are you doing KatBar? Have you had any more scans?

Yesterday was CD13 for me and after agonising whether to try or not/ to do IVF or not - decided to have unprotected sex . So that's that - I normally ovulate around day 15-16 so everything very crossed
Hi Sweetkat!

Yes, I actually had a scan last Friday (just before 7 weeks), and it was still all looking good.
I hadn’t expected to have that scan actually.. It came about because I was made aware of this Rainbow Clinic at the women’s hospital where I gave birth to my son. The clinic looks after women who have had recurrent miscarriages, and late term loss, and offer extra support during pregnancy, as well as investigating causes after a miscarriage. I had my first appointment on Friday and was pleasantly surprised that they like to do quick scan’s at each appointment. I have the option of having weekly or fortnightly appointments with them up to 12-14 weeks (after the 12-14 week mark, I will be moved across into their regular maternity system). I chose to do a fortnightly appointment, but can change to weekly if I get anxious at any point. So hopefully I will get another scan at 8w4d at my next appointment with them, and it will all look good.

Actually funny story… (bit of back-story first) I had a some-what traumatic birth experience with my son – as I was attempting to push him out, his heart rate almost came down to a complete stop. The midwife pushed the emergency button, calling a Code Pink (infant in distress), and it was like a movie with seriously 5-6 different people rushing into the room, and them trying to get me to roll around and get his heart rate back up. After what felt like ages, it did, and they let me keep pushing for a bit. However, after it happened 2 more times, I had a doctor preform an emergency forceps delivery. Anyway, because of how full on it was, all I could ever remember was that the doctor was a youngish, attractive blond woman, who had short hair in a ponytail – but no other detailed features.
So I met with this doctor on Friday and chatted for a bit about my miscarriages and current pregnancy. She then asked about my history on my pregnancy/labour with my son, and started to look through my hospital file. As she is looking at the file notes on my son’s delivery, she started laughing, and goes “Oh! I delivered your son”! I thought it was pretty cool, and pretty random! I mean she would deliver babies all the time, so probably nothing noteworthy for her, but was kind of special for me to actually look at this woman that helped bring my little man into the world (& stitched me back up afterwards too haha)!

(Sorry, I have realised I have practically written an essay now)

That is exciting (& I am sure, nerve wracking at the same time) that you have given it a go naturally! Make sure to keep me posted! I will be crossing everything that you will get your rainbow baby this cycle!!!



 
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Old May 30th, 2017, 10:18 AM   15
Sweetkat
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KatBar so glad all ok so far! Fingers crossed this is your rainbow. I think it's going to be ok this time as your other miscarriages were earlier! Everything crossed!!!

I am soooo scared of having another miscarriage that I am actually sitting here and thinking whether I should get the morning after pill tomorrow. I know it's crazy but with OH's sperm some articles are saying risk of miscarriage more than double - that would make it 60% and as I got to 10 weeks and 2 days last time with baby measuring 10 weeks it was just so traumatic!

And it was trisomy 21 - they say it's normally from the mother but I am convinced in our case it was the sperm (because it's so fragmented and because at my age risk is 1 in 350).

Other options are - IVF, donor sperm, meet another man.

I think I am losing the plot....

Funnily enough my daughter was also a forceps delivery with an episiotomy as her heart rate started dropping. I had a young good looking male dr and a room full of midwives. The good looking dr then had to operate on me to get the placenta out as it tore and some of it wouldn't come out.



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Old May 30th, 2017, 10:38 AM   16
Sweetkat
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So anyway/ I feel like I am trapped in my own personal version of hell.

OH and I met nearly 9 years ago. He had two kids and I had none but really wanted one (I was late twenties). He messed me around for 3 years having unprotected sexual but pulling out. I thought he wanted kids but he just strung me along.

Then he started taking a cocktail of medications for his medical condition (including methotrexate which I think is the main cause of the DNA fragmentation). He then said he did want a baby and gave the medication up for a year and we had DD.

Since then I have had 3 miscarriages and one chemical pregnancy all while he is on methotrexate. He then gave it up but after 3 and 6 months and anti oxidants his fragmentation went up.

As he has 2 other kids he actually doesn't care if he has another. I in the meantime am literally agonising all day every day about what to do and I am also angry with him for stringing me along, not freezing his sperm while off the medication (which I asked him to do for months as the medication even says to be off it for 3 months before conceiving).....

Sigh



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Old May 30th, 2017, 23:08 PM   17
KatBar
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Aww, sending you big hugs! I can completely understand why you would feel that way. Especially when you have seen what appears as a healthy embryo at 10 weeks, only for it to not make it and then find out it has trisomy 21! Miscarriages are hard no matter what, but I really feel like the closer to you get to that 12 week mark, it can get even harder.. It’s such a long time to be waiting (& hoping) that your baby will be alright, and then for it not to be is devastating.

I definitely get your feelings around your OH’s fragmentation too. It’s hard when you’ve had a healthy baby before, as whilst the chances might be greater for you to miscarry, you know you can also still have a perfectly healthy baby too.
It is interesting about trisomy 21 lying more with the mum then the father. I guess there is no way you’ll ever know what caused it (your OH’s fragmentation, or just bad luck maybe on your side), but I can appreciate why you’d feel the cause might have been the sperm.

I have to say, although my hubby has not been tested (so we don’t know 100% if he does or doesn’t have it, just that the chances are more higher for him), I looked into what the IVF clinic’s here say about it… It definitely seems like something that is either a grey area, or they are only just starting to learn more about it in Australia. My clinic, Monash IVF, is one of the biggest in Australia – it was the first to open here, and produce a healthy IVF baby. Then probably next in line for where I live is called Melbourne IVF. I checked with both, and neither of them cover anything about sperm fragmentation – absolutely no mention of it, yet these two clinics are the biggest, most expensive IVF centres (so they’ve put a lot of time and effort into researching all the different causes of infertility). But, there is 2 smaller clinics that haven’t been around quite as long (& I know one of them is very cheap and doesn’t have a great rep – I know someone that went there and transferred to Monash before having success), and they do make a mention on of the sperm fragmentation.
And then of course, you can google all sorts of other information on it. So I sort of don’t know what to think about it… Although if this pregnancy turns into another miscarriage, we’ll definitely get my hubby tested for it regardless.

Anyway, I definitely sympathise with your feelings hun! I know that I have wondered about how many more miscarriages I can go through before we call it quits and just accept having one child. I am not ready to give up just yet (& I mean, hopefully this is our take home rainbow baby anyway), but it’s just so soul suking going through this process over and over. Not to mention, with the IVF tries, it is extremely costly. We’ve now spent about 7 months (& thousands of dollars) trying to get baby number 2, and are currently in limbo waiting to see if this pregnancy is a healthy successful one or not. And whilst I know it takes others longer than 7 months, it’s just the misery that the 7 months has been. It has been a constant roundabout of being happy to be pregnant, then scared over the pregnancy, then devastated and upset the pregnancy didn’t work, then worried about the next one, and so on and so forth. It takes over your whole life. For me and my hubby, the last 6-7 months have just felt like a blur of mostly disappointment. I don’t want to get to the end of the year and feel this same way about the entire year.. Especially with my son still so young..

Oh, I just saw what you wrote about you and your OH. That is definitely tough! Especially when he has 2 kids from a previous relationship and isn’t as invested in having a fourth child. And it would certainly be frustrating when you asked him to freeze his sperm and he didn’t, and now you’re going through all this. It’s good he has gone off the medication, but obviously not great that it doesn’t appear to have helped this time.
I always think it’s hard when one of you is more invested then the other… Although my hubby and I are mostly on the same page, he has said that he would be happy enough just having Bodhi, and it wouldn’t devastate him not to have another. Whereas for me, it would be a huge thing to accept not having another one, as I have always thought that I would have 2 kids (& stupidly believed that would always be the case, before knowing how difficult it could be for some of us).
We’ve definitely had some arguments through this journey, because I am more emotionally invested than he is. So I can certainly appreciate what you are saying in terms of your OH not being so fussed, and not doing more in the past (freezing sperm) to help prevent the current situation.

All I can say is, hopefully we’ve both got rainbow babies on board (hopefully yours is currently in the making as we speak), and the none of this worry will matter anymore!!



 
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Old May 31st, 2017, 02:46 AM   18
Sweetkat
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KatBar, thank you so much for your answer . I think men generally are less bothered about having children, some don't care if they have any at all. And once they have one I think most are ok not to have more.

I have always wanted 2 but since the losses I would (if I could) have 3. The baby roller coaster has been happening for the last 20 months - 9 months of trying and 10 months of waiting and testing. It is soooo hard, especially as everyone around me is having babies - even though I started trying over a year before they did.

I agree that fragmentation is a grey area, but the two IVF clinics I went to in London for recurrent miscarriage tested for it as did the hospital where my DD was born. The guy there was a state hospital doctor (not private) and he had no incentive of making money - and yet he said DNA fragmentation could be the reason.

He also said that IVF with ICSI overall has lower birth rates per cycle than trying naturally (even after multiple losses) so he said that if I carried on and on trying, eventually it would work. He said statistically even with the miscarriages out of ten tries there should be at least 4/5 healthy embryos. I get pregnant first/ second month every time, but even then ten tries (esp getting to almost 12 weeks) would take 2 years at least

I think as you are young and your OH is young, and you have time to try and try, you will have a rainbow. And fingers crossed this pregnancy is it

I am 37 soon, so trying naturally with OH could mean that I am close to 40 and run out of time



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Old Jun 9th, 2017, 03:28 AM   19
Sweetkat
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How are you doing girls? I have just had a very very faint line on a first response (5 days before my period is due). It's barely visible though, so not sure if it's going to turn into a proper positive.

This time last year I was still happily pregnant (my last loss was confirmed on 24 June). Since then we only tried one month- in December - which turned into a chemical. This is the first time we have had unprotected sex.

I do fall pregnant very easily, but three later losses (8-10 weeks) and one chemical.

KatBar, how is it going with you?



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Old Jun 9th, 2017, 04:23 AM   20
Sweetkat
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I have also done a digital (being a POAS obsessive) which came out with a negative result



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