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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 11:19 AM   1
Sasha92
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I lost my baby today... how long before i try again?


Hello everybody

As the title says I lost my baby in the eairly hours of the morning after heavy bleeding and being in A&E for 6 hours they finally declared a misscarrige around 1.30am. I was 12w6d and my "12 week scan" would have been today at 2.40pm. I had an 8 week private scan and the baby was fine so i know the baby passed after the 8 week mark but i have no real idea when. I'd like yo think i passed it quite soon after they passed but know knows...

I am totally lost and I have no idea what to think or do. The doctor says I can try again after one cycle but right now I don't feel ready.

I wanted to get some advice from you ladies on how long you waited. It almost feels disrespectful to my last one to just move on so quickly... almost like they never existed at all.

I really want a child as it took me ages to conceive this one but I also don't know if I'm strong enough to go through another loss like this one.

Any advice or kind words appricated xx



 
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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 11:22 AM   2
Dream143r
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Oh Sasha - I'm so sorry to hear this, it's heartbreaking. I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't have any experience on how this feels or how long you should wait. I just wanted to offer my support. Sending luv and positive vibes your way.

*Hugs*



 
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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 13:29 PM   3
JessyG
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I am so sorry to read this. I dont really have any advice on when to start trying again, only when you feel ready, i guess but i wanted to say how sorry i am you are going through this.

Be kind to yourself. X



 
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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 13:39 PM   4
Kiwiberry
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I am so sorry sweetie for your loss, how heartbreaking .

I don't have any experience with this sweetie so I can't give you any advice. I'm really sorry this happened to you and like some of the other ladies have said just give yourself as much time as you need.




 
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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 14:37 PM   5
xMissxZoiex
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Massive hugs, its heart breaking

Physically there isn't any reason to wait after your bleeding has finished but emotionally it may take a while, you need time to grieve your baby and the future you'd planned with them. Only you know when you will be truly ready, after I lost my first son I immediately started TTC again we had started the IVF process again (He was an IVF baby) and after a few months i'd decided I wasn't ready and I didn't want to have another baby because I couldn't bare to lose another but I unexpectedly fell pregnant naturally 7 months after losing Leo, I struggled to bond during pregnancy but my LO really helped heal my grief.

Be kind to yourself and don't rush your healing.



 
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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 14:44 PM   6
zoe2010
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I'm so so so sorry was this your first pregnancy? I too miscarried mine this week. I was only 6 weeks, but it still is devastating. My doctor advised us to wait at least one cycle before trying again. I honestly don't know what we will do. At this point I am so disappointed and angry and sad all at the same time that I don't think I wanna go through this again. If you ever need to talk or vent let me know
Sending love and hugs your way!



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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 15:02 PM   7
Sasha92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoe2010 View Post
I'm so so so sorry was this your first pregnancy? I too miscarried mine this week. I was only 6 weeks, but it still is devastating. My doctor advised us to wait at least one cycle before trying again. I honestly don't know what we will do. At this point I am so disappointed and angry and sad all at the same time that I don't think I wanna go through this again. If you ever need to talk or vent let me know
Sending love and hugs your way!

Yes this was my first. I told everybody at work and announced it to Facebook because we were past the 12 week mark so today has been very emotional. I had to tell my manager to explain my absence and everybody has been messaging me asking how the scan went (as i had a scan scheduled for today) so I ended up just writing a post in our work group chat just to end the questions. Everybody is really sad and supportive as they all knee how much i wanted the baby.

I do want to try again asap I just wanted to see how others dealt with the situation as it took 5 months to convince the first time and that was heart breaking enough



 
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Old Jun 16th, 2017, 16:53 PM   8
zoe2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasha92 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoe2010 View Post
I'm so so so sorry was this your first pregnancy? I too miscarried mine this week. I was only 6 weeks, but it still is devastating. My doctor advised us to wait at least one cycle before trying again. I honestly don't know what we will do. At this point I am so disappointed and angry and sad all at the same time that I don't think I wanna go through this again. If you ever need to talk or vent let me know
Sending love and hugs your way!

Yes this was my first. I told everybody at work and announced it to Facebook because we were past the 12 week mark so today has been very emotional. I had to tell my manager to explain my absence and everybody has been messaging me asking how the scan went (as i had a scan scheduled for today) so I ended up just writing a post in our work group chat just to end the questions. Everybody is really sad and supportive as they all knee how much i wanted the baby.

I do want to try again asap I just wanted to see how others dealt with the situation as it took 5 months to convince the first time and that was heart breaking enough
It took 5 months for us as well I've heard that it is very common for women to conceive pretty quickly after a MC. So fingers crossed for you!



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Old Jun 17th, 2017, 06:37 AM   9
karoolia
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Sasha, I am so sorry. I know how very heartbreaking this can be.

In terms of when to try next, like others have said, it really depends on you. My OB said to have one af and then we could start trying if we were ready. We actually started trying 2 weeks after my miscarriage bleeding ended. Getting back into trying has helped me, but I will tell you that trying so quickly caused me stress because I was still getting positive pregnancy tests and could't tell for sure if it was leftover HCG or the real thing (it was leftover).

We are now trying for real and although I am scared to go through it all again, I know that it is the right thing for me to TTC asap. For others, the right thing is absolutely to wait a few months.

You'll need to really think about what you want and what you need. Remember that there is no right answer. What is right for someone else may not be right for you.

I am really sorry that you had to experience this. I know when it is your first it is especially scary because you start to question everything, I know I have. Try to remind yourself that miscarriages are unfortunately common and accept the support of others. I was amazed to learn how many other women I knew had been through this.

We have a nice support thread in this section if you want to join, it is called "Looking for TTC buddies". Chatting with the ladies there has really helped me.



 
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Old Jun 20th, 2017, 11:07 AM   10
Ready4BabyS
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I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, I know that it is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. When I was miscarrying, my doctor said that I was able to try whenever I felt ready, as long as I had finished bleeding from the miscarriage. She said, if you wait till after your first AF, it is easier for them to predict a due date or how far along you are, but there really is no reason (unless you aren't emotionally ready) not to try as soon as it's over.



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