Feeling Down about it Today

emdeb · Apr 13th, 2010, 08:05 AM

I am due to O around sunday so we have made no plans this week so we can concentrate on trying for bubs. Last month I felt really possitive but I now feel like I have done a 180 and feel the complete opposite. I don't like getting too upset in front of DH as he worries about me all the time and its not fair on him and I just feel like no one else understands.

I held my aunts baby shower a week after first MC at my house with all balloons over the place, and my neighbor asked me the other day if I had had a baby. I just wanted to cry.

I just don't know how I feel about it happening for a third time and I suppose i've got that in the back of my mind nagging at me.

Sorry for the moan, but I just wanted to get it out of my system

KatyKat · Apr 13th, 2010, 08:25 AM

Don't be too hard on yourself - I think what you are feeling is totally normal.

If it makes you feel better, my DH told me last night that he's worried I'm starting to suffer from depression! He can't understand why I can't try and take a more positive approach, but I find it really hard after two mc's. I totally understand your fear about it happening again. I worry that we wont actually be able to conceive again, and then I worry that if we do we might have another mc.

However, I think it would be odd after all we've gone through not to worry about that? I think that bottling your feelings up is never a good idea, and your DH (as well as mine) perhaps just need to understand that we're still grieving for what we've lost, and are naturally going to have some anxiety about what happens going forward.

All being well we will only have happy experiences from here onwards, and all of this will eventually be a distant memory............

debgreasby · Apr 13th, 2010, 08:28 AM

MinnieMone · Apr 13th, 2010, 09:23 AM

Hi Emdeb

I'm feeling exactly the same.... 1 mmc and 1 mc and we are trying again now, I swing from positive and excited to fearful and sad at the thought of it happening again, and whether I will be able to get through it again.

What I'm trying to do is focus on getting pregnant and saying that I'll think about all the other stuff later..... it's the only way I'm finding I can cope, otherwise it would all be too much.... my OH is great, but he finds it confusing how I can be so up for getting pregnant again one minute, and the next saying that I'm not sure I want to....

I wish I could just go back to the innocence of the first time, and not have these fears... but guess we just have to look forward and hope!

hmu04146 · Apr 13th, 2010, 09:26 AM

ust dropping off some hugs for you all xxx

heart tree · Apr 13th, 2010, 10:48 AM

Hi ladies, I can totally relate. I've had 2 mc's too and am about to start trying again this cycle. I'm terrified. I heard someone say one time that once a woman has experienced a miscarriage, the innocence of pregnancy is lost. How true that is for all of us. We are now forced to worry, how can we help it?

Emdeb, people ask me all the time if I have children. I despise answering the question and then end up crying once I'm alone or with my DH. I think it is important to let your DH in on your feelings. It is ok for him to worry about you, that's part of his job. It might end up being worse if he feels shut out. Just make sure you take advantage of other avenues to express your feelings as well. Use this group as much as you want. We understand and can help support you through this.

xoxo

Apr 13th, 2010, 08:05 AM	#1
emdeb Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: northants Posts: 280	Feeling Down about it Today I am due to O around sunday so we have made no plans this week so we can concentrate on trying for bubs. Last month I felt really possitive but I now feel like I have done a 180 and feel the complete opposite. I don't like getting too upset in front of DH as he worries about me all the time and its not fair on him and I just feel like no one else understands. I held my aunts baby shower a week after first MC at my house with all balloons over the place, and my neighbor asked me the other day if I had had a baby. I just wanted to cry. I just don't know how I feel about it happening for a third time and I suppose i've got that in the back of my mind nagging at me. Sorry for the moan, but I just wanted to get it out of my system

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Apr 13th, 2010, 08:25 AM	#2
KatyKat Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Northumberland Posts: 596	Don't be too hard on yourself - I think what you are feeling is totally normal. If it makes you feel better, my DH told me last night that he's worried I'm starting to suffer from depression! He can't understand why I can't try and take a more positive approach, but I find it really hard after two mc's. I totally understand your fear about it happening again. I worry that we wont actually be able to conceive again, and then I worry that if we do we might have another mc. However, I think it would be odd after all we've gone through not to worry about that? I think that bottling your feelings up is never a good idea, and your DH (as well as mine) perhaps just need to understand that we're still grieving for what we've lost, and are naturally going to have some anxiety about what happens going forward. All being well we will only have happy experiences from here onwards, and all of this will eventually be a distant memory............

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2010, 08:28 AM	#3
debgreasby Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sutton in Ashfield, Notts Posts: 5,561

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Apr 13th, 2010, 09:23 AM	#4
MinnieMone Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: London Posts: 268	Hi Emdeb I'm feeling exactly the same.... 1 mmc and 1 mc and we are trying again now, I swing from positive and excited to fearful and sad at the thought of it happening again, and whether I will be able to get through it again. What I'm trying to do is focus on getting pregnant and saying that I'll think about all the other stuff later..... it's the only way I'm finding I can cope, otherwise it would all be too much.... my OH is great, but he finds it confusing how I can be so up for getting pregnant again one minute, and the next saying that I'm not sure I want to.... I wish I could just go back to the innocence of the first time, and not have these fears... but guess we just have to look forward and hope!

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2010, 09:26 AM	#5
hmu04146 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Greenock Posts: 971	ust dropping off some hugs for you all xxx

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2010, 10:48 AM	#6
heart tree Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Berkeley, California Posts: 9,095	Hi ladies, I can totally relate. I've had 2 mc's too and am about to start trying again this cycle. I'm terrified. I heard someone say one time that once a woman has experienced a miscarriage, the innocence of pregnancy is lost. How true that is for all of us. We are now forced to worry, how can we help it? Emdeb, people ask me all the time if I have children. I despise answering the question and then end up crying once I'm alone or with my DH. I think it is important to let your DH in on your feelings. It is ok for him to worry about you, that's part of his job. It might end up being worse if he feels shut out. Just make sure you take advantage of other avenues to express your feelings as well. Use this group as much as you want. We understand and can help support you through this. xoxo

Status: Online

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