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Old Jul 28th, 2011, 00:19 AM   11
sannod
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Hi ladies,
I'm sorry for all your losses. I had a missed miscarriage last month after 2 years of no birthcontrol with 1 year of ttc. It has been so difficult especially now that i am back into my first cycle and feeling downhearted about starting all over. My sister just came over yesterday to tell me she is pregnant! I knew it would happen soon and although I am happy for her, not one person has asked if I am ok, its like my entire family has forgotten that i'm trying or that I just lost a baby. They said "Oh everyone thought you would cry because you would be so happy"

Are you *** serious?

It's hard enough that I will keep things to myself and that noone bothers to aknowledge my lost baby but then to put that on me and expect me to be the happiest person in the family that my much younger sister will be happily having a baby as planned with no problems while I face another year of ttc? Again I love my sister but I'm still human and I don't think it is totally selfish to ask my family to stand by me in this time whether she is pregnant or not. Just because she is pregnant so soon doesn't mean we forget my pain overnight. It seems everyone starts to avoid you after you miscarry and they don't let you talk about it.



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2011, 09:20 AM   12
lulu83
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sannod View Post
Hi ladies,
I'm sorry for all your losses. I had a missed miscarriage last month after 2 years of no birthcontrol with 1 year of ttc. It has been so difficult especially now that i am back into my first cycle and feeling downhearted about starting all over. My sister just came over yesterday to tell me she is pregnant! I knew it would happen soon and although I am happy for her, not one person has asked if I am ok, its like my entire family has forgotten that i'm trying or that I just lost a baby. They said "Oh everyone thought you would cry because you would be so happy"

Are you *** serious?

It's hard enough that I will keep things to myself and that noone bothers to aknowledge my lost baby but then to put that on me and expect me to be the happiest person in the family that my much younger sister will be happily having a baby as planned with no problems while I face another year of ttc? Again I love my sister but I'm still human and I don't think it is totally selfish to ask my family to stand by me in this time whether she is pregnant or not. Just because she is pregnant so soon doesn't mean we forget my pain overnight. It seems everyone starts to avoid you after you miscarry and they don't let you talk about it.
Im soooo sorry hun. I TOTALLY know how hard that situation is. My sister in law announced she was pregnant a few weeks after my 1st m/c. Ive had 2 more m/cs while shes been pregnant. shes due in sept...i wouldve been due in aug if the 1st pregnancy had been successful. Its definitely tough dealing with the family reactions...they do seem to forget about our losses and just focus on the "excitement' of the new pregnancy. The pregnancy of my sister in law is just a constant reminder that im NOT pregnant

that things get easier for you



 
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Old Jul 28th, 2011, 10:49 AM   13
tweety pie
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Sorry for all your losses. I lost my daughter lily may at 18wks and it was just such a terrible time my heart is still in bits. I have stopped going on facebook as i get so upset seeing peoples scan photos, baby photos and all the comments about there babies. It makes it all the more difficult when now i am struggling to conceive i have had one problem after another since the d/c and are getting so frustrated.



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Old Jul 29th, 2011, 06:49 AM   14
KatyW
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I am so sorry for your loss and I can't fathom what you're going through. We just lost our first on 25 June so the due date hasn't come yet, but it's got to be a huge slap in the face.

It simply isn't fair that people who desperately want children have to go through losses or through times of waiting, while others who are irresponsible "accidentally" get pregnant and do things to harm their babies while pregnant. It's okay to be angry about that.

I felt the same way, that I would never conceive, and that just isn't true, it's your sadness talking.

You're going to be a wonderful mother who is so in love with her child, good will come out of this.

So many of us know what you're going through, you are so not alone, and your grief is real.



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