OMG! I am in shock :(

bluecathy1978 · Mar 21st, 2012, 09:24 AM

I have just had a conversations with my husband which I cannot believe! When he came in from work I was a little bit tearful because I got another BFN this mornig when I was possitive it would be a BFP.
His responce was that maybe it isnt meant to be and he doesnt want to try for any more anyway!! I have told him to think about it very carefully because I do and if that is the case he knows where the door is! I may have been a little over the top but he knows that it is what I want and also what I need to come to terms with my loss. I hate him right at this moment!!!!

MightyMom · Mar 21st, 2012, 11:14 AM

I'm sorry. I think men react differently than we do to the loss. Maybe he's too hurt to try again or scared. Some guys just don't show how emotional they are. Take a breath hun and wait for him to come home so you can talk about it.

2inlove04 · Mar 21st, 2012, 15:04 PM

I would give him time to think it over, let him re-approach you about it.. I mean honestly there are worse things in life esp when you already have 4 kids!

bluecathy1978 · Mar 21st, 2012, 16:21 PM

Oh no, he has told me I have to go to the Doctors and get some anti depressants. He has gone to walk the dog but he will be sleeping in the dog house too. If he carries on he will be finding a different address to sleep at.

I had a mmc that started at christmas but didnt actually lose it until jan 3rd. When I had my first scan and they found no hb it looked like the baby had dies between 7-8 weeks. This coincided with the same time that I had sprayed my boys bedroom with insecticide (found some horrid bugs and wanted to get rid). I did it because I was fed up of waiting for my husband to do it and needed to get them back in their room. I had never told him before today but I think this is what killed my baby. If he had done it then maybe I would still be pregnant.

MightyMom · Mar 21st, 2012, 17:21 PM

Just a suggestion, but maybe you should bring that up to him. It seems like you're really mad that he doesn't want to keep trying for another LO. But really he does have a right to feel that way. Maybe he just isn't up for it this cycle. Give him some space and don't pressure him by putting him in the dog house. It has to have been rough for him too.

mwaah · Mar 21st, 2012, 17:52 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

My hubby reacted the same and I really want another baby, he knew I wanted 2 when we 1st got together. Anyway it all came to a head and I said the same as you and told him where the door was!! Well my mistake, as he went!!
Now reality has kicked I now know that if I cant have both I just want him and we can concentrate on our DS but he refuses to come back and told me to go after what I really want. Which he thinks is another baby.
So as much as you are hurting right now be sure its another baby you would rather have than your hubby.
Good luck I hope it works out for you and you get both xxx

lostandsad · Mar 21st, 2012, 19:58 PM

blue cathy i'm so sorry for your losses, and i can completely understand why you would feel so upset.

I think the urge to get pregnant again is instinctive, however many kids you have already. It's not like you're any less sad just because you've got children.

Also - I don't know - but it seems pretty unlikely to me that the pesticide would have harmed your baby. Maybe I'm wrong, but wouldn't the packet have said if pregnant women shouldn't use it? I'm pretty sure there must be rules about stuff like that. But like I say, I don't know.

Hope you feel better soon, and that he comes round to understanding how u feel

xx

Mar 21st, 2012, 09:24 AM	#1
bluecathy1978 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK, Manchester Posts: 1,199	OMG! I am in shock :( I have just had a conversations with my husband which I cannot believe! When he came in from work I was a little bit tearful because I got another BFN this mornig when I was possitive it would be a BFP. His responce was that maybe it isnt meant to be and he doesnt want to try for any more anyway!! I have told him to think about it very carefully because I do and if that is the case he knows where the door is! I may have been a little over the top but he knows that it is what I want and also what I need to come to terms with my loss. I hate him right at this moment!!!!

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Mar 21st, 2012, 11:14 AM	#2
MightyMom Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 1,849	I'm sorry. I think men react differently than we do to the loss. Maybe he's too hurt to try again or scared. Some guys just don't show how emotional they are. Take a breath hun and wait for him to come home so you can talk about it.

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Mar 21st, 2012, 15:04 PM	#3
2inlove04 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Northern, VA Posts: 855	I would give him time to think it over, let him re-approach you about it.. I mean honestly there are worse things in life esp when you already have 4 kids!

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 16:21 PM	#4
bluecathy1978 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK, Manchester Posts: 1,199	Oh no, he has told me I have to go to the Doctors and get some anti depressants. He has gone to walk the dog but he will be sleeping in the dog house too. If he carries on he will be finding a different address to sleep at. I had a mmc that started at christmas but didnt actually lose it until jan 3rd. When I had my first scan and they found no hb it looked like the baby had dies between 7-8 weeks. This coincided with the same time that I had sprayed my boys bedroom with insecticide (found some horrid bugs and wanted to get rid). I did it because I was fed up of waiting for my husband to do it and needed to get them back in their room. I had never told him before today but I think this is what killed my baby. If he had done it then maybe I would still be pregnant.

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 17:21 PM	#5
MightyMom Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 1,849	Just a suggestion, but maybe you should bring that up to him. It seems like you're really mad that he doesn't want to keep trying for another LO. But really he does have a right to feel that way. Maybe he just isn't up for it this cycle. Give him some space and don't pressure him by putting him in the dog house. It has to have been rough for him too.

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 17:52 PM	#6
mwaah Waiting To Try (WTT) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: West Sussex, UK Posts: 1,450	I'm sorry for your loss. My hubby reacted the same and I really want another baby, he knew I wanted 2 when we 1st got together. Anyway it all came to a head and I said the same as you and told him where the door was!! Well my mistake, as he went!! Now reality has kicked I now know that if I cant have both I just want him and we can concentrate on our DS but he refuses to come back and told me to go after what I really want. Which he thinks is another baby. So as much as you are hurting right now be sure its another baby you would rather have than your hubby. Good luck I hope it works out for you and you get both xxx

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 19:58 PM	#7
lostandsad Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 70	blue cathy i'm so sorry for your losses, and i can completely understand why you would feel so upset. I think the urge to get pregnant again is instinctive, however many kids you have already. It's not like you're any less sad just because you've got children. Also - I don't know - but it seems pretty unlikely to me that the pesticide would have harmed your baby. Maybe I'm wrong, but wouldn't the packet have said if pregnant women shouldn't use it? I'm pretty sure there must be rules about stuff like that. But like I say, I don't know. Hope you feel better soon, and that he comes round to understanding how u feel xx

Status: Offline

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