It is good to have a place like this forum to say these things and get them off our chest and know that the other people understand and can sympathize with those feelings and not think you are an awful person!

This same friend that inspired this thread posted a picture of herself on facebook at 4 weeks pregnant cradleing her "bump"...... UMM, baby is the size of a grain of rice, if that! Set me off crying again cause I would be 7 1/2 weeks right now and I find it so frustrating to start all over again. DH has been wonderful, but yesterday he said he worries about me being sad and that it might lead to depression if we don't get pregnant again straight off... I am not THAT sad, I feel like I am dealing with it quite well but since he has grieved and moved on, he wonders why I am taking so long. FFS, I only stopped bleeding from the m/c less than a week ago! I know he is coming from a place of love and concern, but it DOES feel like everyone just expects you to be over it when it's "over" if that makes sense!

Oh well, hoping that we all get our rainbows and that they stick!

Hi I wanted to say I'm so sorry for your losses and that I feel exactly the same.I lost my daughter at 36 weeks of pregnancy due to a complete placenta abruption July last year. I gave birth to my sleeping angel she was beautiful. It was the most horrific time of my life. My elder sister was pregnant at the same time she was only a few weeks behind me. When my other sister rang me to tell me she had given birth to a little boy I cried for days. It was extremely difficult to go and see them with a smile on my face, it hurts so much now he's getting bigger I think this should be me experiencing this. I already have a 4 year old who constantly asks when are we getting another baby. After I gave birth to my sleeping angel I couldn't ttc until December as I had mmr jab due to not been protected against rubella do has to wait 3 months. The first time we tried in December i got my BFP on new years day. We Thiugjt this was going to our year. I was put on baby asprin an had early scans and seem a heartbeat at 7.5 weeks. At 10 weeks I stated to spot, had emergency scan done and showed baby only measuring 8.5wks no heartbeat, I had a mmc. D&c was done on 21st feb. I feel as Though I'm never guna get my rainbow. As soon as I found out I was pregnant my best friend came off pill to try with her bf, she didn't tell me she was trying just that her doctor said she had been on pill too long and to come off. I knew this was a little fib as I know she wanted to be pregnant. 2 weeks after my mmc she sent me a txt and told me she was pregnant. I felt as though somebody ripped my heart out and stamped all over it. I'm insanely jealous I wish I wasn't. I can't help it, I can't even bring myself to congratulate her or even see her. Why did I have to lose my 2 babies. She has also just announcers it on fbook and to see everyone's comments saying how happy they are for them it kills me. And it will break my heart even more if she has a girl. I can't bring myself to look at little baby girls since mine was so tragically taken from me. I can't even ttc at min as I'm suffering from pelvic pain and have to have laporoscopy done to see if it's endo. I just want to be pregnant. Sorry for the essay. Only you ladies understand how I feel, Altho my family and hubby are supportive I feel as though they just want me to get on with it. Sorry for the rant xxxx

Hi tawn,

I'm so sorry for your loss and all the other ladies on here. I was going to post the same thread! My oh's brother and wife have been together for 8 years, she always said she's not ready for children, they found out we were pregnant and must have decided to ttc themselves. So then I miscarry and this week I am told with great enthusiasm by my oh that he's going to be an uncle again!! How he can be so excited I dont know because my response to that news was to burst into tears and say "it's supposed to be us having a baby not them"........and then how selfish and horrible did I feel?? I'm so glad if was my oh that told me and not my BIL or SIL as I don't think I would have been able to contain the tears but I feel so bad for feeling that way! I want to be happy for them but I can't, I just feel I can't be happy for them until I'm pg again myself.

I'm hoping it gets better for us all soon and lots of hugs and baby dust sent your way!!! Xxxxx

Jealousy is completely normal as I am right there with ya.

I had m/c at 8 weeks but didn't find out until I was 10 weeks along. I was rushed into surgery as I was developing a blood infection. They performed a d&c and that was, well, horrible. I went into a deep depression which took me a while to get out of.

What made matters worse is my best friend of over 30 years is now 5 months pregnant with her second (her youngest just turned 1 in March) and my older daughter's Godmom is pregnant as well. What really stings is the due date for Julz's Godmom is the same day my little nuggetbutt was due.

I tell them both I am happy for them and "woohoo" but on the inside I just want to cry and crawl in a hole. If it wasn't for my DH and his support I would of snapped by now. I am still not over the jealousy, but every time it creeps up I just tell myself, "Your time will come...just be patient".

I really think I would have gone completely crazy without this forum! I am finding things so hard and although keep trying to think positive, feel like getting kicked again and again! Got in touch with an old friend from uni recently to find out she is 33 weeks pregnant!! We're planning a catch up but just don't feel ready- is that weird?
I think my lack of ovulation since the mc is messing with my head as well- just want the chance to try and conceive, seeing gp in 2 weeks to try and get anwers why its not happening
fed up waiting
xx

Sprite

I agree sprite, I would be going insane if it weren't for everyone on here. It feels like I am not as crazy as I think! I hate that we all have to go through this but I am glad I can share my pain with you ladies. The jealousy is really going to be tested this weekend when I have to go to a family wedding with the newly pg SIL, if everyone starts cooing over her and asking when she's due, has she had morning sickness I just dont know if I will cope! Not looking forward to it!

Wishing all you ladies lots of hugs and baby dust though and soon people will be cooing over our bundles of joy too xxxxxx

Just sending hugs!!! It's so hard xxx

You ladies have been amazing in letting me vent these feelings! I hope everyone comes back to this thread VERY soon and announces their BFPs so we can celebrate our rainbows together!

Yes! And let's all take the positive view......we all will be back with BFPs really soon!! And before we all know it we will all be cooing over our beautiful rainbow babies xxxxxo