Team Rainbow Mummies - Gay Surrogates, Lesbian, Transgender and BiSexual TTC Group - Page 2

LunaBean · Dec 15th, 2009, 14:16 PM

My OH wasn't ready when I first brought it up, but she came round to the idea. She was so excited when I got pregnant, and devastated when I miscarried, but I do think the one who isn't going to be carrying the baby doesn't get as excited or interested at first! Now she's as excited as me, but still gets mad when I point out every single baby we see lol.

RainbowMum · Dec 17th, 2009, 15:32 PM

I just got a reply from my PCT as I wanted to find out their policy on funding fertility treatments for same sex couples...

Quote:

We don't have a different IVF/IUI policy for same sex couples.

We are currently updating our IVF policy which would probably be more explicit in terms of stating the rights of same sex couples. But the principles that underpin our current IVF policy applies to same sex couples in that:

1. IVF or assisted conception is usually a treatment that involves couples in a stable relationship as recommended by NICE. Our current policy does not make any distinctions between same sex or heterosexual couples. So it would not matter if they are a same-sex couple.

2. Every couple will have to demonstrate failure to conceive despite unprotected sex for one year. This in effect means that our IVF policy is based on the principle that the PCT will fund treatments for demonstrable clinical infertility regardless of whether the couple are in a same sex relationship or otherwise.

In practice, this means that couples in same sex relationships would have tried inseminations or self funded IUIs and failed to conceive (for up to 6 cycles of IUI), or provide evidence from a Gynaecologist that the female partner that will carry the baby has been investigated for infertility and have factors that would preclude natural conception such as blockade or abscence of both tubes (as would also be expected of heterosexual couples)”.

ah well, not like I really thought they were going to help us pay for it anyway

Tegans Mama · Dec 17th, 2009, 15:35 PM

Rainbow_Mum, that is actually a good response. Our PCT told us we weren't eligible as a same sex couple since I was 'infertile though choice'.

RainbowMum · Dec 17th, 2009, 15:56 PM

I know that it's actually a fairly good response. I was just somehow hoping we could get some sort of financial help right away...
But at least we know that they will help after 6 months of trying(or earlier if there's something 'wrong' with me) so that's great

LunaBean · Dec 17th, 2009, 19:01 PM

We have to go through interiews etc too, which is ridiculous!!! Why shud we have to prove we'd be good parents! I was also told, by my gynea (who is a guy and a twat, that I have 'elective infertility'. Yeah, just because I'm 'electing' not to get poked by a dirty boy penis, doesn't mean I'm electing not to have kids!

RubyRainbows · Dec 18th, 2009, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaybeMomSarah

Alright, so first question - if you are the one going to be the biological mother of the child, this one is more for you.

How is your partner's family viewing your child? As in, will they accept this child as part of their "family"?

My in-laws have said that they won't recognize the child as part of their family at all. This many have to do with the fact that they don't recognize our relationship to start with (after 8 years of being together, 3 of them legally married).

If you were in this situation, how would you deal with it on a pregnancy level (as opposed to when the child is here, which is a whole other topic!)? Do you encourage them to discuss it? Do you show them scan pictures?

Hi girls!! I would like to join your "team" too!

I am fortunate that my girlfriend's family accepts me whole-heartedly and is very warm and welcoming to my two-year old son. I don't see my GF's family very often, but they kind of consider Jayden their grandson... i've heard them make that reference.

On the other hand, when my GF asked them if they would be thrilled and throw me a shower when i get preggo (we were not together when i had my first child... we met when he was 4 months old)... her mother said, "If *you* were the one pregnant we would throw a shower!" So, i think they would be happy if we have a baby together.... and love & spoil the baby.... but still think of the baby as mine, not hers.

Anyhow.... glad to see a rainbow mommies team!

Jetters · Dec 18th, 2009, 16:54 PM

I'm in! Although a bit more conventional than most... am 7 weeks preggo, concieved the old fashioned way- a stupid rebound relationship with a good friend. So, this little bean has got a single bisexual mummy, and a bisexual daddy!

My dad has said he's placing bets on the babba coming out either with a mohawk or waving a rainbow flag

Jetters · Dec 18th, 2009, 16:55 PM

@Tegans Mama, I love your daughters name!

LunaBean · Dec 22nd, 2009, 06:26 AM

Lucky it was so easy for you, wish it was that easy for the rest of us! Will he be involved in the baby's life?

How is everyone getting on? I'm only 5dpo and nothin to report! We're just about to go do our food shop, hopefully we won't spend £150 this year, tho I duno how it happened since there's only the 2 of us! lol. Havin slmon insteada turkey this year for a change too.I want my presents now! Tho I've been allowed to open about 6 already, lol.

RubyRainbows · Dec 23rd, 2009, 20:45 PM

Jetters - CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS! Wish you could send a bit of your friend's super-sperm my way!

Will this be your first baby?

Dec 15th, 2009, 14:16 PM	#11
LunaBean Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland Posts: 6,355	My OH wasn't ready when I first brought it up, but she came round to the idea. She was so excited when I got pregnant, and devastated when I miscarried, but I do think the one who isn't going to be carrying the baby doesn't get as excited or interested at first! Now she's as excited as me, but still gets mad when I point out every single baby we see lol.

Status: Offline

Dec 17th, 2009, 15:35 PM	#13
Tegans Mama Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Derbyshire Posts: 16,339	Rainbow_Mum, that is actually a good response. Our PCT told us we weren't eligible as a same sex couple since I was 'infertile though choice'.

Status: Offline

Dec 17th, 2009, 15:56 PM	#14
RainbowMum Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 681	I know that it's actually a fairly good response. I was just somehow hoping we could get some sort of financial help right away... But at least we know that they will help after 6 months of trying(or earlier if there's something 'wrong' with me) so that's great

Status: Offline

Dec 17th, 2009, 19:01 PM	#15
LunaBean Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland Posts: 6,355	We have to go through interiews etc too, which is ridiculous!!! Why shud we have to prove we'd be good parents! I was also told, by my gynea (who is a guy and a twat, that I have 'elective infertility'. Yeah, just because I'm 'electing' not to get poked by a dirty boy penis, doesn't mean I'm electing not to have kids!

Status: Offline

Dec 18th, 2009, 16:54 PM	#17
Jetters Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 5,145	I'm in! Although a bit more conventional than most... am 7 weeks preggo, concieved the old fashioned way- a stupid rebound relationship with a good friend. So, this little bean has got a single bisexual mummy, and a bisexual daddy! My dad has said he's placing bets on the babba coming out either with a mohawk or waving a rainbow flag

Status: Offline

Dec 18th, 2009, 16:55 PM	#18
Jetters Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 5,145	@Tegans Mama, I love your daughters name!

Status: Offline

Dec 22nd, 2009, 06:26 AM	#19
LunaBean Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland Posts: 6,355	Lucky it was so easy for you, wish it was that easy for the rest of us! Will he be involved in the baby's life? How is everyone getting on? I'm only 5dpo and nothin to report! We're just about to go do our food shop, hopefully we won't spend £150 this year, tho I duno how it happened since there's only the 2 of us! lol. Havin slmon insteada turkey this year for a change too.I want my presents now! Tho I've been allowed to open about 6 already, lol.

Status: Offline

Dec 23rd, 2009, 20:45 PM	#20
RubyRainbows Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: US Posts: 4,455	Jetters - CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS! Wish you could send a bit of your friend's super-sperm my way! Will this be your first baby?

Status: Offline

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