TTC 40 plus! Lets share the ups and downs! - Page 515

heavenly · Feb 24th, 2012, 15:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistyy

Personally i dont have the courage for it. We did try it but I lay there on all the nights we were skipping it in a cold sweat thinking OMG what if the eggy is just sat there waiting now ...... and we're doing nothing! lol. Daft. I know sperm can lurk around waiting for a good couple of days quite happily before going into action when called for.

AFM - Talked OH into (gentle) BD last night

Feel not too bad this morning. Think the ABs are kicking in. Think also they're making me queasy and headachy. But thank GOD i'm not on the loo every 15 mins any more

Glad you are feeling a little better. x And I totally agree with being a chicken with not BDing much, when I hear about people getting a BFP and they have only done it once or twice!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pippi_elk

I told one female colleague today as I did n't feel so tearful to-day...she was ok but after a few minutes talking kinda played it down "it was so small sure you would n't even notice....

it was a nurse this morning in the EPU that did the scan and she was so much nicer and more sympathetic that the doctor that was on last week. A small bit of kindness makes such a difference.

Sensitive of that lady at work...I know it's not meant..but really.

You are absolutely right about a small bit of kindness going a long way. Hope you are ok.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nise

Nothing much to report my end except I have an unexpected day off tomorrow - so a long weekend it is. Hope this lovely weather stays, might do a bit of digging in the garden.

I am glad your end is behaving itself.

Have a lovely long weekend and don't overdo it! xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by beetle

So glad you like Foxy! Can't tell you how excited we are!

I'm phoning doc this pm to get results of bloods - lets hope they shed some light. I've also booked appointment at the Lister for 22nd March - my thinking is that its likely we will need IVF so better book the appointment. If some other solution comes to light we can always cancel! Ho hum! At least the sun is shining!

Foxy is adorable!!

I would love one but don't think my cat would like it. !

It's good to have a positive plan of action. Keep us posted with the test results. Hope you are looking after yourself. xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by booth19

AFM - finally AF turned up !!! can start the countdown again and fingers crossed get some answers

Glad it turned up...well you know what I mean and I hope you get some answers. x

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomie

To tell or not to tell. For me it was a no-brainer. I felt as though I was bereft and although I told my boss that no-one should feel they had to come and talk to me if they didn't want to, I felt that I wanted her to let people know that I had suffered this huge loss. After all, if their parent or brother had died, people wouldn't just turn up to work and not mention it. Most people just smiled at me and left me alone; that was enough but it helped me to know that they didn't think I was just being bloody miserable and weird. For me, part of the problem is that mc is not spoken about and there is this assumption that because it happens to so many people, it must be easy to deal with. I've had 3 and they only get harder to deal with. Also, this perception that it's a bit like having a slightly late, heavier period and that it was 'for the best' because there was obviously something wrong belittles the pain and feeling of loss. I went though 12 hours of contractions and we held our baby in our hand - there's no way it felt like a period, it felt like I'd lost a child, and I didn't really care if there was some possible chromosomal abnormality that helped other people explain it away, I just wanted to know my baby, plain and simple. Big

to all who know what I'm going on about, and to those who don't xxx

Big hugs to you. Sorry for your pain.

Butterfly -

heavenly · Feb 24th, 2012, 16:04 PM

AFM - very pleased it's Friday!! Going to Norwich this weekend to see my best mates, and my god-daughter, who is 1 and adorable! It is a tricky one for me, my best mate TTC for 2 years naturally then got her BFP, she was 43, so delighted for her, but when I see her and my god-daughter, there is a pang, I can't lie!! But I will have a great time with them.

I am having first session of acupuncture next week
Going to get my AMH done
Am taking enough supplements to put Boots out of business..check sig!

I am 9DPO, no symptoms, so not thinking about it and not testing!

Hope you all have a peaceful weekend. xx

Spoomie · Feb 24th, 2012, 16:21 PM

Apologies for my rant earlier, I've just read it back and realise I sounded like a psycho.....it was just the flippant comment from Pippi's colleague that made me so cross and set me off on my soapbox. Honestly, some people have not got a clue. The kindest friend I have encountered since my last mc is one who suffered a stillbirth at full term with her first child and she totally acknowledged my 12 wk loss as equal in pain to hers, with not a hint of one upmanship that her pain must be greater. In fact, I actually felt that her pain must have been even more immense, but the point I'm making is that she didn't try to make me feel that, which meant so much to me.

to all x

Miss_C · Feb 24th, 2012, 17:13 PM

Pippi - hi we haven't met yet - but could not RnR without sending a massive hug. I think I am 90% bitch so even when my heart is in pieces if someone comes out with something as insensitive as that cow I would have found something to say that made her feel like shit no matter how well intentioned she may have been. I am firmly in the camp of tell and then let other people deal with it either you cry or rant whatever it was your baby and you have every right to do and say exactly what you feel. I think the more people don't hide it the more others will not say things out of pure ignorance. It is the suffering in silence that makes it so very very hard. One of my best friends sent me a text saying Ziggy is in heaven as an angel looking down over us and I said I don't give a flying #$#!!! where you think Ziggy is they should still be in my tummy growing ready for me to hold in my arms - I felt bad but it did make her think

Anywhoo I'm on a rant with Spoomie (hi twinny - hugs)

To everyone else tons and buckets and truckloads of baby dust for you all.

Reb S · Feb 25th, 2012, 02:30 AM

Spoomie - lovely to hear from you ranting or not! Our pain and losses will always be with us and makes us a part of who we are.
AFM - off to Korea oh yuk yuk, then China for 12 days -not sure about internet access so you might not hear from me,
Love to all x

Nise · Feb 25th, 2012, 04:11 AM

Bon voyage Reb, sounds like you're not to keen on this trip - I think I am a tiny bit jealous, I would quite like to go to China. Hope it turns out to be good fun.

Pippi_elk · Feb 25th, 2012, 13:01 PM

Thanks girls for the support on the insensitive comments from my female colleague...have to laugh Miss_C at your comment that you are 90% bitch and would think of something appropiate to retort !
What happens with me thought, is that an hour or so after the conversation I fully digest what they have said and then get cross/upset by it....

No worries about the rant Spoomie...after 3 Mc I feel for you. My sister had 3 MCs in a row and then went on to have 2 healthy preganancies (she was in her early 30's but don't think that makes a big difference).
Really nice to hear you have such a kind friend despite loosing her baby at full term...unfortunatley it's in the difficult situations where we see who our real friends are....although I think some people really don't realise how cruel they can be and are just trying to cheer us up.

Heavenly...enjoy your visit to see your God daughter and hope it's not too upsetting. Good luck with the accupuncture. I suffer from RSI in my right hand/arm and am very sceptical about any althernative treatment (I'm a scientist..although not working in that area anymore due to my RSI)...but I was totally blown away with how good accupuncture was for pain relief for my hand

. After 3 or 4 sessions I felt I was 'cured'...although the pain does come back after a week or two. I don't know anything about how it works for fertility treatment but hopefully its another 'thing' that will add to your chances.

I have n't seen Butterfly on for a few days....hope you're doing ok over there in Dubai.

I'm doing ok at the moment...my husband is more upset today and is not sleeping well since the MC. He's feeling bad that he's not 'there' for me...despite my reassurances. I think I am just totally focusing on get pregnant again...although still getting BFP, temps are still high, my boobs still have n't reverted to normal size....so it'll be another while before I ovulate I guess.

Butterfly67 · Feb 25th, 2012, 13:38 PM

Hi pippi

to you - I hope your body manages to sort itself out soon.

Have had a couple of up and down days. Just when I think I am doing ok...

.. anyway, the main thing I came to do here is done, I sold a bunch of paintings, I can pay off my credit card debt here and I go home in a few days. I had all that to focus on so hopefully things won't fall apart now. I go back to the hospital on monday for a follow up u/s - I guess that is just to totally confirm things (although there is no other outcome for sure) and I hope I can get a prescription for one of those drugs that kicks off the mc rather than having to wait any longer

Happy travels Reb!

to everyone else

Mistyy · Feb 27th, 2012, 01:41 AM

Reb - that sounds a wonderful trip! Are you not keen because its a business trip at all? Stay safe and have a fab time anyway

Spoomie -

You didnt sound like a psyco

These feelings have to be let out anyway. In my ignorance, b4 my own experience of it, i thought getting over a trauma like a MC, still birth, termination etc would be a case of being upset, of course, but then simply healing and just returning to normal service mentaly over time. How wrong was i!? Its such a complicated process. And yes - influenced greatly by what others are doing and saying. I've found that having OHs bro + sis both expecting right now (not with each other!) very hard as their babies would have been cousins to our lost one - very close in age. I hate particulaly that it seems to hammer home that OH has no children of his own in such a blunt and miserable way. Its not the pregnancies themselves as such. Knowing he was in such pain over it made it harder for me to get over. I went through quite a tough time with it in fact - but am much better able to handle it now. So is he (i think). Having our wedding to organise has helped alot. Something to look forward to for this new year. B4 he proposed, at xmas, this year was stretching ahead feeling a bit empty

The thing i'm not coping with very well at the mo is my mum + MIL (to be) keep showing me the baby clothes they are knitting for the two babies on the way. Sigh. <Pulls self together for the billionth time>

God, now I'M monologing! lol.

Heavenly - accupuncture - i was skeptical, even as i booked my first appointment tbh! But i can say hand on heart there's something in it for sure. My cycles have changed since going, i feel much more relaxed, i had a 4 week stiff neck healed almost overnight at the start, and OH is now going for his back pain + fertility support. Go for it!

Butterfly - good to hear from you. I think you'll be able to begin to take a bit more control once you're home. You must be in limbo a bit, poor thing

Well done for selling your paintings so successfully! I must admit my artisitc juices have dried up these last few months and i struggle to put pencil to paper these days

I'm half way through a comission at the mo and i'm doing ANYTHING round the house to avoid sitting down and getting on with it, lol. Hmmmmmm, must dehair the plug holes round the house today ........

FF has kindly given me crosshairs. So, Heavenly, i'm near you again - 5 DPO here i think.

Hugs and waves to eveyone. Must fly as i've got OHs busted van to get in to be repaired (hes gone to work in my car this morning ... that means it'll have a light dusting of cement over the inside by tonight

) plus i've got the washing machine repair man coming round soon as thats busted too! More ££££££ to spend out

Butterfly67 · Feb 27th, 2012, 01:59 AM

Ooh Mistyy, are you an artist too? How did I not realise that?!

Feb 24th, 2012, 16:04 PM	#5142
heavenly Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Sussex, UK Posts: 1,585	AFM - very pleased it's Friday!! Going to Norwich this weekend to see my best mates, and my god-daughter, who is 1 and adorable! It is a tricky one for me, my best mate TTC for 2 years naturally then got her BFP, she was 43, so delighted for her, but when I see her and my god-daughter, there is a pang, I can't lie!! But I will have a great time with them. I am having first session of acupuncture next week Going to get my AMH done Am taking enough supplements to put Boots out of business..check sig! I am 9DPO, no symptoms, so not thinking about it and not testing! Hope you all have a peaceful weekend. xx

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Feb 24th, 2012, 16:21 PM	#5143
Spoomie Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 769	Apologies for my rant earlier, I've just read it back and realise I sounded like a psycho.....it was just the flippant comment from Pippi's colleague that made me so cross and set me off on my soapbox. Honestly, some people have not got a clue. The kindest friend I have encountered since my last mc is one who suffered a stillbirth at full term with her first child and she totally acknowledged my 12 wk loss as equal in pain to hers, with not a hint of one upmanship that her pain must be greater. In fact, I actually felt that her pain must have been even more immense, but the point I'm making is that she didn't try to make me feel that, which meant so much to me. to all x

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Feb 24th, 2012, 17:13 PM	#5144
Miss_C Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 823	Pippi - hi we haven't met yet - but could not RnR without sending a massive hug. I think I am 90% bitch so even when my heart is in pieces if someone comes out with something as insensitive as that cow I would have found something to say that made her feel like shit no matter how well intentioned she may have been. I am firmly in the camp of tell and then let other people deal with it either you cry or rant whatever it was your baby and you have every right to do and say exactly what you feel. I think the more people don't hide it the more others will not say things out of pure ignorance. It is the suffering in silence that makes it so very very hard. One of my best friends sent me a text saying Ziggy is in heaven as an angel looking down over us and I said I don't give a flying #$#!!! where you think Ziggy is they should still be in my tummy growing ready for me to hold in my arms - I felt bad but it did make her think Anywhoo I'm on a rant with Spoomie (hi twinny - hugs) To everyone else tons and buckets and truckloads of baby dust for you all.

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Feb 25th, 2012, 02:30 AM	#5145
Reb S Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: London Posts: 1,230	Spoomie - lovely to hear from you ranting or not! Our pain and losses will always be with us and makes us a part of who we are. AFM - off to Korea oh yuk yuk, then China for 12 days -not sure about internet access so you might not hear from me, Love to all x

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Feb 25th, 2012, 04:11 AM	#5146
Nise Other BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: London Posts: 12,440	Bon voyage Reb, sounds like you're not to keen on this trip - I think I am a tiny bit jealous, I would quite like to go to China. Hope it turns out to be good fun.

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Feb 25th, 2012, 13:01 PM	#5147
Pippi_elk Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 252	Thanks girls for the support on the insensitive comments from my female colleague...have to laugh Miss_C at your comment that you are 90% bitch and would think of something appropiate to retort ! What happens with me thought, is that an hour or so after the conversation I fully digest what they have said and then get cross/upset by it.... No worries about the rant Spoomie...after 3 Mc I feel for you. My sister had 3 MCs in a row and then went on to have 2 healthy preganancies (she was in her early 30's but don't think that makes a big difference). Really nice to hear you have such a kind friend despite loosing her baby at full term...unfortunatley it's in the difficult situations where we see who our real friends are....although I think some people really don't realise how cruel they can be and are just trying to cheer us up. Heavenly...enjoy your visit to see your God daughter and hope it's not too upsetting. Good luck with the accupuncture. I suffer from RSI in my right hand/arm and am very sceptical about any althernative treatment (I'm a scientist..although not working in that area anymore due to my RSI)...but I was totally blown away with how good accupuncture was for pain relief for my hand. After 3 or 4 sessions I felt I was 'cured'...although the pain does come back after a week or two. I don't know anything about how it works for fertility treatment but hopefully its another 'thing' that will add to your chances. I have n't seen Butterfly on for a few days....hope you're doing ok over there in Dubai. I'm doing ok at the moment...my husband is more upset today and is not sleeping well since the MC. He's feeling bad that he's not 'there' for me...despite my reassurances. I think I am just totally focusing on get pregnant again...although still getting BFP, temps are still high, my boobs still have n't reverted to normal size....so it'll be another while before I ovulate I guess.

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Feb 25th, 2012, 13:38 PM	#5148
Butterfly67 Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2011 Location: Suffolk, UK Posts: 8,160	Hi pippi to you - I hope your body manages to sort itself out soon. Have had a couple of up and down days. Just when I think I am doing ok... .. anyway, the main thing I came to do here is done, I sold a bunch of paintings, I can pay off my credit card debt here and I go home in a few days. I had all that to focus on so hopefully things won't fall apart now. I go back to the hospital on monday for a follow up u/s - I guess that is just to totally confirm things (although there is no other outcome for sure) and I hope I can get a prescription for one of those drugs that kicks off the mc rather than having to wait any longer Happy travels Reb! to everyone else

Status: Online

Feb 27th, 2012, 01:41 AM	#5149
Mistyy Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Northamptonshire, England Posts: 320	Reb - that sounds a wonderful trip! Are you not keen because its a business trip at all? Stay safe and have a fab time anyway Spoomie - You didnt sound like a psyco These feelings have to be let out anyway. In my ignorance, b4 my own experience of it, i thought getting over a trauma like a MC, still birth, termination etc would be a case of being upset, of course, but then simply healing and just returning to normal service mentaly over time. How wrong was i!? Its such a complicated process. And yes - influenced greatly by what others are doing and saying. I've found that having OHs bro + sis both expecting right now (not with each other!) very hard as their babies would have been cousins to our lost one - very close in age. I hate particulaly that it seems to hammer home that OH has no children of his own in such a blunt and miserable way. Its not the pregnancies themselves as such. Knowing he was in such pain over it made it harder for me to get over. I went through quite a tough time with it in fact - but am much better able to handle it now. So is he (i think). Having our wedding to organise has helped alot. Something to look forward to for this new year. B4 he proposed, at xmas, this year was stretching ahead feeling a bit empty The thing i'm not coping with very well at the mo is my mum + MIL (to be) keep showing me the baby clothes they are knitting for the two babies on the way. Sigh. <Pulls self together for the billionth time> God, now I'M monologing! lol. Heavenly - accupuncture - i was skeptical, even as i booked my first appointment tbh! But i can say hand on heart there's something in it for sure. My cycles have changed since going, i feel much more relaxed, i had a 4 week stiff neck healed almost overnight at the start, and OH is now going for his back pain + fertility support. Go for it! Butterfly - good to hear from you. I think you'll be able to begin to take a bit more control once you're home. You must be in limbo a bit, poor thing Well done for selling your paintings so successfully! I must admit my artisitc juices have dried up these last few months and i struggle to put pencil to paper these days I'm half way through a comission at the mo and i'm doing ANYTHING round the house to avoid sitting down and getting on with it, lol. Hmmmmmm, must dehair the plug holes round the house today ........ FF has kindly given me crosshairs. So, Heavenly, i'm near you again - 5 DPO here i think. Hugs and waves to eveyone. Must fly as i've got OHs busted van to get in to be repaired (hes gone to work in my car this morning ... that means it'll have a light dusting of cement over the inside by tonight ) plus i've got the washing machine repair man coming round soon as thats busted too! More ££££££ to spend out

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Feb 27th, 2012, 01:59 AM	#5150
Butterfly67 Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2011 Location: Suffolk, UK Posts: 8,160	Ooh Mistyy, are you an artist too? How did I not realise that?!

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