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Old Sep 17th, 2013, 04:48 AM   7621
Butterfly67
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Pussycat, just to throw the cat amongst the pigeons, if there are any urgent medical issues the donor can be contacted even when it is anonymous, you just have to go through the clinic. I have a note to check what happens though if the clinic closes



 
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Old Sep 17th, 2013, 08:20 AM   7622
Pussycat1
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Thanks Butterfly, very helpful. Remind me, (if you don't mind me asking) did you have your DE in Europe, if so which clinic? Myself and BF are both fair skin and hair so reckon if we did venture out of the uk Prague is probably easier for a match. x



 
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Old Sep 17th, 2013, 09:00 AM   7623
Butterfly67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pussycat1 View Post
Thanks Butterfly, very helpful. Remind me, (if you don't mind me asking) did you have your DE in Europe, if so which clinic? Myself and BF are both fair skin and hair so reckon if we did venture out of the uk Prague is probably easier for a match. x
Yes I think it sounds like Prague would be a perfect match features wise. I did look into a Prague clinic but they wouldn't take me as I was single so it might be worth checking if you have to be married.

I went with a clinic in Madrid, Ginefiv



 
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Old Sep 18th, 2013, 11:49 AM   7624
garfie
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Good luck ladies

I'm not sure what to do now - think I have got some soul searching to do

Just when I start to feel like the wound of the m/c is closing and I am slowly moving on - it gets open again TODAY

I was called into the hospital for my DNC results (I had a DNC back in June) as you know I have been told many times that everything was okay and it was just bad luck

Today (my results went astray) they had tested for molar pregnancy which lead them to find out that my beautiful angel was a little boy with trisomy for chromosome 22

Hubby says it doesn't make a difference and obviously we knew the risks etc but seeing it in black and white makes it seem more real.

I hate myself for feeling this way - one minute I'm up the next I'm down I just can't stop crying

Just needed to vent

Love to all you ladies



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Old Sep 18th, 2013, 15:29 PM   7625
Butterfly67
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Garfie, when you get details like this it is all going to bring it back to you so no wonder you are upset



 
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Old Sep 19th, 2013, 03:40 AM   7626
Mistyy
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Oh Garfie. I wish i could give you a massive hug in RL right now

The risks involved (re: chromosomal abnormalities) for us older ladies ('older' being anything over 35 in medical terms !!!!) is almost the cruelest part of it all. Having tried and tried for a much longed for baby, then to be told the baby had/has life altering medical problems throws up terrible and conflicting emotions no one can be prepared for. So it's completely understandable how this news has hit you, lovely.

Allow yourself to feel the shock and pain and be upset at the news, and take your time.

Have you been offered any 'genetic counceling'? It's just a posh term for them taking a blood test from you and DH to check that the T22 was a tragic but random occourence between the pair of you. It can put your mind at ease that the likelyhood f it happening again is very low when you try again.

More massive hugs my lovely xxxxxxxx



 
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Old Sep 19th, 2013, 07:45 AM   7627
Pussycat1
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Oh Garfie, I can only imagine all the conflicting feelings you are having. Sending you hugs.
Wise words from Mistyy, can only agree.
x



 
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Old Sep 25th, 2013, 10:38 AM   7628
garfie
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Thanks ladies

In my confusion and guilty state I seem to have unsubscribed from this thread

I thank you ladies for supporting me (I did think it was a bit quiet)

Anyway I am coming to terms with it - hubby seems more on board than me about trying again - he says the law of averages have got to fall in our favour at some point. I think now he is out to prove that we can create the perfect baby.

I have been keeping myself busy and the nightmares I am pleased to say have become less and less

Misty we had all the tests the NHS give late last year/beginning of this - so yes our chromosomes were tested. So I guess I can only really say this must have just been a fluke of nature and for a change mother nature was on my side - but then why do I feel guilty for saying that?

I also keep imagining the perfect little boy and then seeing someone come along with an eraser and rubbing out little bits of him - that still freaks me if I'm honest (and I know I can be here).

People are wondering why I just start crying for no apparent reason - after all I had a DNC months ago? - but it has brought it all back I feel guilty for feeling sad and sad for feeling guilty (not necessary in that order).

I am scared - what if this wasn't a one off? - also how can it be that two people who love each other could create this little boy, yet others can go out have a one night stand and have the perfect baby - why can't we?

So as you can see ladies - I am getting there slowly. Every time I think I'm over it - something comes along and knocks me for six.

I am really pleased though to hear all you pg ladies are doing well

For now for me I am on CD 9 and just waiting to see what my body does this month



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Old Sep 25th, 2013, 14:18 PM   7629
greens
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Sadly stuff just happens and with out reason and it's shite but it gets easier. Keep talking with your partner, don't be guilty of your feelings, better to express them and give them air.
Each day is a new day look forward the past has happened.
I have had 21 and 13 with both of us all clear chromosome test



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Old Sep 25th, 2013, 16:55 PM   7630
Maddy40
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Garfie hun. To me your grief is totally understandable but I guess those who haven't been there don't understand. I'm sorry about the T22 result but at least there was an explanation - although that doesn't make the grief and sadness any less.

Pussycat isn't it great to have BF as our own Over-40s example of what ED can achieve

Mistyy how ru?

Everyone else I missed

AFM I will be 6 months on Friday & all is well. I don't post as much any more as I try not to spend too much time sitting at home. I sit at the office all day & when driving. The rest of the time I need to be moving and getting my back into different positions or else I don't sleep well. xxx



 
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