I can totally understand some of you ladies having fears about twin pregnancy as you have little ones already. I honestly don't think that I could have coped with either a toddler or a full time job in the first few months, it was difficult enough just dragging myself out of bed most days and then I was vomiting a lot of the time, or just feeling nauseous which can be worse, it was not easy, and was really, really tiring. As I'm now into 2nd tri I do feel more human....and thankful to see the back of the 1st tri!!!
Sparkly two of my friends just had twins and they are doing much better than I was with just Hero haha!!! In their case though they had the luxury of taking a year maternity leave and when they do go back, they go back to a job in the public sector which isnt very demanding. My basic problem is my full time work, it really drains meand i would not have the energy to spend quality time with twins and Hero.
Sugar I would go for it too. Your chances of having a healthy baby seem to have the best odds with clomid and progesterone. There is definitely a chance of twins, but what is the alternative?
I'll throw out something controversial. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't do this. I have a friend in real life who couldn't get pregnant for over a year. She finally did IUI and got pregnant but had a mc at 10 weeks. She did IUI again and got pregnant with twins. She and her husband knew they couldn't raise two babies at the same time. They chose to terminate one. They did it very early in the pregnancy. The other baby was fine and is a healthy 2 year old boy now. It was shocking to me that they could even do that, but they can.
Allie, I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I'm sorry your mom's siblings aren't more supportive. Have they always been this way? Their denial runs deep. It also sounds like they have a lot of fear about getting involved. How horrible that they can't support you more!
Lucy, this rest is well deserved. Sounds like Benjamin knows that you need to keep your strength and is being a good boy for his mummy. Enjoy the rest of your time there.
Thinking of Dazed too. I wonder if she'll entertain IVF. The problem with IVF in the US is that it is extremely expensive and most insurance companies don't cover it. You can easily spend $15,000 - $30,000 on IVF and I'm not sure she has that kind of money. I'm so devastated that this happened to her. After my ectopic, I was terrified I was going to lose my other tube. And with my adenomyosis, I'm not a candidate for IVF. I got very, very lucky.
Vicky, I think you are a nutter for trying again! Hero sounds like such a handful. I can't imagine doing it again. I'm pretty sure Delilah is going to be my only child. I'm too old for this! I didn't get more than a 2 hour stretch of sleep at a time last night. Super tired today.
Hearty im not sure that i will do it again. Alex is pressuring me and we are discussing it, the thought completely freaks me out...The thing is that my sister will most likely never have a child, shes just not sold on the idea and shes 36 without a relationship. We are not close at all with my sil, so unless i have another, hero will be on her own. If i do decide togo for it it will e for her 100%. im happy with my family the way we are.
healthcare in the US sucks...cant beleive they wont cover at least 1 IVF attempt! Didnt Megg's insurance cover her IVF??
Thanks for the advice girls. I think we are going to try naturally this month, get the tests done on the NHS, then see about an appt to get the clomid. Hearty, I could never do what your friend did, but each to their own I suppose.
I'm so grateful to have Charlotte, I just worry about rocking the boat. Tbh, she is an absolute bugger at the moment. She's so strong willed and starting to throw tantrums all the time if she doesn't get her own way. She won't let me feed her, dress her, change her nappy or brush her teeth. How do you girls cope with this sort of behaviour? Is it best to ignore do you think? I keep losing my temper and then feel guilty and a shit Mother.
I agree re Dazed, it's just so sad. I think it's disgusting that they can get away with charging so much for IVF. My best friend is struggling to have a baby and has been trying for years. Had 1 round of IVF on the NHS and now decided to remain childless, as she doesn't have the money or the will to put herself through it all again. Funnily enough, she's actually the happiest I've seen her for a long time. She says she feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. I hope Dazed can reach a similar sort of peace, or find the money for IVF
I think its hard to imagine having another one when you have an active toddler I kind of tried not to think about it as think it would of freaked me out to much I did talk to my mum and she said its amazing what you can cope with the thought is scarier than the reality. Im thrilled to be doing it again Ive always wanted a big family but I have found this pregnancy really tough so we may stop at 2 but who knows. I orginally said to Steve I wanted 4 he said no the compromise we came to was if we had one of each we'd stop (Ive always said will see) but if we had 2 boys I could have another. Who knows how I'll feel after this baby I know after Benjamin I just didnt feel that our family was complete.
Im heartbroken for dazed shes been through so much and this just seems so cruel. The fact ivf is so expensive in the usa and you cant get it on insurance is awful. Im thinking of her.
Sugar good luck this month sounds like you have a good plan in place.
Sugar went through 3 months of fighting me on everything. It took me more than 1 hour each morning to get her ready before i went to work! I figured out the best way to get her to do things was to ignore her until she calmed down. I would sit at the foot of the bed with a show in one hand and just staer at the wall until she sat next to me and let me dress her. Now it only takes 15-20 minutes yay!!! I also find tantrums really funny, when she throws one in public i literally have a fit laughing!! People look at me like im a freak, my sister gets all embarrased but i find it hillarious.
Sugar that sounds like a good plan. I couldn't do what my friend did either. I wouldn't want twins, but I would take them if I got pregnant with them. No advice about Charlotte I'm afraid, but I like Vicky's advice. You aren't a shit mother by the way.
Vicky it's a lovely idea that you'll do it for Hero. Delilah has cousins who are a year older than her that live near by. That's good enough for us. I think Megg did have insurance for IVF. Some insurance companies will cover it, but the majority don't. It's disgusting.
Lucy I just noticed on your ticker that you are 12 weeks! Wow!! I'm sorry it's been so rough. Amazing that you want more than 2 even. My hat goes off to you.
I never thought I would feel complete with just one child, but now I feel so much differently. I would love for her to have a sibling, but at the same time, I don't feel one ounce of desire to add to our family. I'm shocked I feel this way. Maybe if I had a boy I would feel differently as I've always been outspoken about wanting a girl. But who knows? All I know is, she completes me. If I got pregnant again though, I would keep the pregnancy. I told Tim that after all we've been through, I would never have an abortion. Ever.
Vicky, when I was a nanny, I thought the temper tantrums of the little ones were so cute. Sometimes I had to stop myself from laughing. As they get older, I think the tantrums get less cute.
I just took a hike by myself. First time in over a year. I'm going to have Tim care for Delilah one morning a week so I can hike by myself. The weather feels like summer here and I was hiking through redwood trees. It was refreshing!
Vicky, I totally laugh when Maddy throws tantrums. Sometimes she says the funniest things, I just can't help it. I have a similar approach - I ignore bad behaviour. I find it does work sometimes.
Sugar, I think I would risk it. In fact, I had similar feelings when we were trying with Bryce and we went ahead with IUI. Twins scared the crap out of me, but I wanted another child so badly that it was worth the risk.
You're just a normal mom Sugar....trust me...my mom was a shit mom...she didn't care to discipline me at all!!
I always thought I would want another child after we had Bryce but I know 100% that I am done. I love my two kids and love that I have just enough time for both of them. I know that I would feel guilty if we had another, there's just barely enough time as it is.
Hearty, so jealous of your weather and going for a hike. We've got at least two feet of snow and it's way too cold to hike. Sounds like a great idea for you. How was your little one last night? Bryce got up at 12 to feed, then he was awake from 2 - 4 am...ughhhh!!!!
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