Angie, I hope you truly find peace & happiness wherever your journey leads you! I know the feeling of being done, as we truly were in the same place. I wasn't planning on ever looking back...To be honest I keep waiting to bleed, but in the same breath praying this is our rainbow, to trying to not be attached to guard my heart...ugh....I'm not sure how either of our paths will go, but I will tell you I know of lots of 3 day success stories! Dont give up yet! Good luck & best wishes!
Angie I wish you the best with this IVF. When I did mine yrs ago they had my husband and I both take Doxycycline for a long time. It was at least 2 weeks if not 4. I cant remember the reason but I remember us both getting sick while taking it. Its strong! I also dont blame you at all for your feelings because I have felt the same way. I hated any pregnant woman. Didnt want to see any, talk to any or be around any so I know your struggle and dont blame you at all. I felt so mean but it was so hard. It was hard seeing the ladies on here having babies but I did feel different about them because I knew they had traveled the same road as me and had been through the same struggles. I truly felt so Happy for the ones that finally got their babies and it kept giving me hope. I too gave up before it happened on its own. I know thats not an option for you so I pray for you everyday and hope you find peace with your decisions.
If its any help at all, I too decided to stop when my last left the house for college (hes back now. I dont think he will ever leave home). But I was sad a few months but then I realized what all we could do. I didnt have to wake anyone up anymore, I could sleep as long as I wanted,mwe could eat whatever, whenever without planning for the kids. We could take off anywhere at any moment. It was really nice and we really were enjoying each other. My midwife told me many months before that to just give up and enjoy my husband. Thats what I was doing and we were truly at peace so I think you will be too. We did all the traveling after I gave up after the first IVF and until after the reversal in 2013 so that was a big joy too. We took the kids some then had to work around them a few trips. It would have been much easier if they were older then. Now Ive started over! So I feel no fun trips are in our near future. Im going to miss that but we will eventually get back there. Little man is just now getting to that stage where its hard to take him anywhere. He cant sit up on his own and hates being in his carseat but if you hold him while you are out to eat hes destroying everything he can reach. LOL hes been super easy to take places until now so we will have a few months before it gets a little easier when he can sit up in a high chair on his own and not in our laps.
I get why you're taking steroids. I'm wondering about the doxycycline. I know that you're not pregnant now, it's just a very strong antibiotic that unless needed it can do much more harm than good. I was just wondering if it's standard in IVF in the states. I hope that your outcome is what your true heart's desire is. We are always growing, and with that comes change. I don't pretend to understand the hatred at other pregnant women. It just never affected me that way. I was annoyed at times that people who I knew had no business having another baby could just pop them out right and left, but I just couldn't hate for it because I did have kids and I know so many who don't and wish they could. I know many that feel the same way you do and everyone is different and processes things differently. I won't lie this journey can really best you down. I've been there too. Sending you love and piece
Thanks for asking flutter. Ive been battling heartburn pretty much everyday, usually puke once a day...still no bleeding or cramping, which is amazing in itself. Lol My test were darker yesterday & my bbs are getting more sore. So all in all so far so good I'd say lol Going to make my OB appt after 6 week mark, closer to 7. Nervous, when I think about it, so trying to stay busy & praying for the best!
Just wanted to update, Feels like M/C #3 is on the way for us Scan yesterday at 5+3 showed nothing but a thick lining, which I wasn't too concerned about. HCG was in normal range at 1347, I think, but progesterone was low at 5.4, even though I've been taking 200mg 2x day since I got the bfp. Dr. said it could go either way, but I'm not optimistic to say the least. He upped my dose to 3xday, repeat labs Monday, scan Thursday...Been spotting since scan, but just feel less pregnant today...UGH...I really was past this part of life, not sure why this is happening again, but if we lose this one I'm considering birth control options, as I seriously am over this crap!
HCG on Friday was up to 1996. 84 hr doubling time which he says is OK for that level. I'm still spotting a little bit of brown/pink, but no further pain. Had more labs drawn today. US scheduled for Thursday still.....
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