Nell - CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's amazing news, about time too!!! So was this your third IVF cycle then? Do you think you did anything differently? I'm so happy for you, after all the trials and tribulations you've gone through I can't think of anyone who deserves it more. I'm keeping everything crossed that everything runs smoothly from here on in.

Mrs P - So sorry the spotting started hon. I would ask for another prog test just to put your mind at rest if nothing else. However, with your lovely long LPs (I count anything over 10 as lovely and long!) I would be surprised if progesterone is the issue, but I'm no expert!

Expat - fingers crossed!

Soili - Hi! I agree re spotting and hormonal fluctuations - since taking the pill to kick off my IVF cycle I have spotted pretty much every day - and it has looked like my 'regular' spotting too - with bits of 'lining' in (ick!). However, at my scan on Monday she could still see a bit of lining (albeit thin, as it should be), with some bloodflow around it so I should have even more of a bleed any time now (I took my last pill on Weds).

Happyshopper - I hope your eggs burrow back out of their hiding place! My cycle after my HSG was pretty iffy too.

AFM - Am gearing up to start stims on Monday. Have started drinking this revolting 'super greens' drink each morning, am mixing up a whey powder/rice milk/oaty shake thing for breakfast, have visualisations teed up on my iphone, acupuncture booked in weekly, an arsenal of supplements by my bed and am ready to go! x

Solli- I definitely think that is possible. My RE doesn't even like to test progesterone because it can fluctuate so much, she said even in a matter of twenty minutes. She would rather just prescribe it bc of my issues with spotting.

MrsHY - you sound so ready! I'm rooting for you! Be sure to tell us all about it bc if this cycle doesn't work I think that will be our next step. Will take a few month break first though.

Thanks happyshopper & MrsHY.

HS - Sorry you've not ovulated this month hun. Hopefully you'll be extra fertile due to your HSG next month and will get a BFP!

MrsHY - umm those drinks sound highly revolting! But a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do!

x

Nell, congratulations and good luck! It’s nice to see a fellow spotter getting pregnant
Expattc, I also experienced pain while on Clomid, but it was more of a constant dull pain in my left ovary that lasted for about 2-3 days, no cramps, no stabbing pain. Crossing my fingers for you!
MrsPTTC, wow, I can’t imagine no spotting for that long. I hope one day I can claim 14dpo and no spotting. Sorry caught up with you
MrsHY, sounds like you're all set. That drink does sound revolting though
AFM: I think I am out this month. After taking 50mg of Clomid for 5 days I went to get an ultrasound on CD11 and was all set and ready to get that HCG shot to induce ovulation. However, ultrasound showed that I had 3 good size follicles on my left side (I could totally feel it, my left ovary was sore for 2 days) and 1 follicle on my right ovary. The doc told me she wouldn’t give me the shot, because the follicles were all mature enough to pop and potentially be fertilized. We decided to wait for 2 days hoping that one or two of them would become dominant while the rest would gradually degenerate. So I came in again today and the ultrasound showed 8 mature follicles (!!!!!!) sizes 17mm and up all ready to any moment. (I've also been having positive OPKs showing LH surge for the past 3 days). She couldn’t remember last time she saw something like that happen. Of course, she didn’t give me the HCG shot today either. Part of me wanted to let the nature take its course and see what happens, but there are just too many unknowns and the risk of something going wrong is too high. I don’t believe in selective reduction, I don't want to experience multiple MCs and I don’t want to be another octomom, so my husband and I decided not to risk it and skip TTC this month… bummer Meanwhile we’ll focus on that dreaded spotting and try to figure out what’s that all about. I will be seeing my doc next week again. All my lab results looked good and there’s no clear cause for spotting so far. I’m pretty sure I will say no to Clomid next month. I'm off to pouring myself that I've been craving so much. Sending hugs and lots of baby dust to all of you!

Bloody hell hun, I had 3 dominant follies at one point & they were talking of me abstaining & cutting down to 25mg. Luckily only 1 popped & they kept me on 50mg (still no BFP after 6 cycles though) but it sounds to me like they need to cut your dosage as you're over stimulating x

MrsPttc - I am so sorry the witch found you

MrsHY - you sound all good to go! It's good to occupy yourself with little tasks like drinking concoctions and listening to visualisation cd's, made me feel like I was doing something constructive and not just in an eternal wait loop. Technically it was my 5th cycle, I had 3 fresh (so with egg collection), the 4th was due to be a frozen embryo cycle but we didn't actually transfer any embryos even though i'd taken all the drugs and then the 5th cycle was a frozen transfer and that has given me a positive

There was quite a bit different about my frozen cycle v's my 3 fresh, different brand of stimulation meds, much lower dose, less follicles (5 or so v's 30), different progesterone (injections v's suppositaries) and for the first time my lining thickened between ovulation and transfer and I didn't spot before AF was due, not even a day.
Fingers crossed you'll never need to get to that stage though hun.....heaps of people have it work for them first, if not 2nd time

Feel free to PM me in you have any questions any time while you're cycling

Guys, any of you resent / resented the idea of needing fertility treatments or even testing? I feel like I'm torn. On one hand we'll be hitting a 2 year mark in a few months. I mean, we NTNP at first, then I stopped ovulating for a year and it's only our actual 5th cycle of proper TTC. But at the same time, although our trying was pointless for a whole year, I was still charting and trying to BD on "fertile" days and still hoped to ovulate and get pregnant. So it's been A WHILE.

Sometimes I feel that any sort of poking / testing / treatment is sort of unnatural (I really really hope I'm not offending anyone by this). I just can't get my head around the idea that our baby might be made because DH's sperm would be inserted through a catheter into my uterus, for example. I think HSG is a very sadistic way of verifying if one's tubes are open. I think sperm samples are bizarre. I'm resenting the whole thing so much, that it made me come up with excuses to postpone/cancel tests and appointments. I feel like I'm always trying to win a bit more time and getting pregnant has become a race against a possibility of needing medical intervention. I know that it's up to me in the end, and no one will force it on me, but you know how doctors and state health care are. You have to fit into their schedule and they either assure you that there's nothing wrong with you or that you have no chance to fall pregnant naturally. Everything's always so black and white.

Sometimes I think that the reason why I'm not desperate for any sort of way of getting pregnant is because I'm not desperate to have a baby. I am trying not to grow too attached to this future baby. I don't buy baby clothes, I don't think which color would be the walls of nursery, I don't have names picked up, I don't fantasize how I'm going to announce it. Kinda afraid, in a few years time, to turn into a 24/7 sobbing mess, stroking baby clothes in my ready-to-go nursery, having failed all fertility treatments
known to men.

So I guess if the reason why I'm not pregnant yet is because I'm not fully into it, then I am guilty as charged. Trying to spare myself bitterness and disappointment of a possibility of a complete failure.

Sorry about a long post and for being very open. Just wondering if any one of you feel the same way.

Soili, I feel very bitter that I needed fertility treatment, bitter that I needed all the meds and invasive tests and procedures, bitter at the horrid expense and that even though I got a positive test the other I week I don't feel happy as I just won't consider myself pregnant until I see there is something there on the ultrasound.
Right now I am taking daily medication that I really would rather not put in my body at all, let alone put in it while pg.

I'm pleased I threw myself into ART as early as I did (pretty much as soon as I found out I had low amh last may) and even though ART wasn't particularly successful for me relative to other women (most get pg on round 1 or 2) I still wonder would I have ever conceived on my own?

From what I read most people seem to forget about it all once they get their BFP even if it is through IVF it suddenly all becomes worth it. I don't feel like that, I feel angry about the advice and treatment I received or rather didnt in my early cycles. I know I need to put it all behind me, but right now that seems impossible.

I know too much about TTC and ART, I wish I had never needed to know all this stuff, could have just BD'd, being ecstatic at falling pg and been like what feels like *everyone* else.
I feel like i'm also going to have to learn to just live with spotting for the rest of my life too, because unless I take progesterone supps forever I think i'm always going to have it.

Aww Soili bless you chick . I feel bitter that some people fall pg straight away. And that's why I don't really go in the TTC forum anymore, or join any testing threads. I'm scared at the prospect of IUI & IVF, but I'd do anything for a LO. Sometimes when AF comes and say I've got plans like a big night out, a party or something, part of me feels relieved that I can still go, have a drink and enjoy myself. Then I start to wonder if this is why I haven't been lucky! For instance, I'd much rather have had a BFP last cycle month, or even this one, but my holiday is in 5 weeks and I know I'd enjoy it more if I wasn't pg, I could sunbathe, get drunk, go into the hot tub, water sports etc.. that I couldn't do if I was pregnant. So now I kind of feel like it's my fault?? I'm sure it's not but hey ho. I do have the nursery & names picked out though!

With regards to yourself, if I were you I'd wait a couple more months before you see your Dr & start further treatment. Only because you weren't ovulating before, and now you are I would give it 6 months as it seems to be the point where "most" people get their BFP's when they start from scratch . I'm sure it'll happen for you soon.

Nell, bless you, it was very unfair that you had to pay all that money and go through all that, round after round. I'm praying that everything will be ok at your scan

x

You guys are absolute best!!

Nell, I think a lot about how it must be to be one of those women, who get excited about trying for a baby, have a lot of fun BD'ing, end up pregnant in the first couple months and right away switch to simply being preggers and having a blast complaining about morning sickness to every person who'd listen. I too think I know a bit too much about TTC. When we started, I barely knew what the heck ovulation was, and had no idea I had a cervix I remember in May 2 years ago thinking I might be pregnant (it was the first month we had unprotected sex) and went to one of those sites where you're supposed to put in the day of last period, how long is your cycle and luteal phase and when you had sex and it'll estimate your chances. Well, I had no idea what is a luteal phase and couldn't remember when exactly did we actually have sex. Huh! I purposely tried not to read too much, because I so wanted to be one of those clueless "I just stopped taking the pill and boom!" I think my mom has very little clue about ovulation and TTW and all that nonsense. I wish I didn't too.

I don't think I'd be able to put away and forget the fertility treatment thoughts and worries if that's going to be how I'd get pregnant. I actually thought that I'd probably do the opposite and combine all the records and keep them. Sorts of embrace it fully. It sure wouldn't to be the "OMG, just found out I'm pregnant, what a surprise, lucky me!" More of "Hard work finally paid off, I damn well deserve it".

Like they say, no pregnancy is the same, so I guess no TTC is the same too. Doesn't mean our experience doesn't deserve as much praise and oohing-awwwing. It fact it does more. I talked about it to DH yesterday and he said - well, all the celebrities are going it, it seems to be a cool thing these days