Soon to be 34 and feeling pressured, anyone else?!?!

inpghttc · Jul 20th, 2011, 10:05 AM

Hello all...I am going to be 34 in Septmeber and was wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and may be having feelings like I am having. I just (today) got my first AF after stopping the pill and am planning on TTC this cycle. I am feeling a slight rushed against time to get my BFP before November and here is why... I used to think that I had until I was 35 to get pregnant without being considered high risk. I just recently found out that the magic age of 35 is the age in which the baby is born, NOT the age in which you conceive. So, for me to deliver at age 34, I need to conceive by around November/December of 2011. Now, I am fully aware that many people have babies after the age of 35 and everything ends up being totally fine...I just guess that wanting to beat the "high risk pregnancy" status has me feeling a little nervous and pressured and was wanted to bring it up here to see if I am alone with the feeling or if anyone else feels the same way?

Ambree · Jul 20th, 2011, 11:05 AM

Well I am your age also, except I turn 34 in March

I did not start to really want a baby until last year
and have been off the pill since July 2010.
But I was on it for so long!!!
And I was so ignorant of my own biology ...
anyway so here we are at 5 or 6 dpo and hoping for a BFP.
This is my fourth attempt.

Every time I get a BFN I feel like I have failed somehow or that I must be starting menopause
melodramatic hormones lol

My sister went off the pill at 34 and one or two or cycles later she was BFP. She will have her first baby next month at 35

inpghttc · Jul 20th, 2011, 11:13 AM

Thanks Ambree! I feel the same way! Let's keep in touch and update each other throughout this journey!

Kaleido · Jul 20th, 2011, 11:25 AM

Hi, im 33 as well and this is my first month ttc.....and god do I feel under tremendous pressure to have babies NOW! Its like my brain suddenly clicked and I did the math....and that houseful of children seemed like only wishful thinking. The love of my life and I found each other late, and I also own a skill related business that I work alone in(and make more$ ) so the timing was never right for me, even tho I've always wanted to be a mom. But now that we have decided to do it im soo impatient!

Ambree · Jul 20th, 2011, 11:28 AM

For sure

better to write about it than incessantly crawl through the internet seeking matching symptoms

This time around I don't have much appetite and I have slight flu like symptoms -
but I'm under more pressure than usual and it's winter here so I sinus and glands is hardly remarkable.

My close friend is also pregnant (34) and she is due one month after my sister. My cousin (37) is having her first baby around the same time.
So I guess its babymania.
It seems everyone is having babies
or rather -
everyone CAN have babies
except for me.

Have you noticed a change in your cycles the past few years?
In my 20s my cycles were clockwork 27 or 28,
since trying from October 2010 my cycles have been 25 or 26 days and twice they were 35.
So of course to me that means I am approaching menopause.
I told my doctor this and he just laughed and told me not to be ridiculous.
lol

Ambree · Jul 20th, 2011, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaleido

Hi, im 33 as well and this is my first month ttc.....and god do I feel under tremendous pressure to have babies NOW! Its like my brain suddenly clicked and I did the math....and that houseful of children seemed like only wishful thinking. The love of my life and I found each other late, and I also own a skill related business that I work alone in(and make more$ ) so the timing was never right for me, even tho I've always wanted to be a mom. But now that we have decided to do it im soo impatient!

Exactly!!!

I really don't know what I was thinking before ttc, I guess my motherhood switch was dormant
until it was suddenly - ON.
And I realised that I really wanted a baby
and worse that I may run out of time.

inpghttc · Jul 20th, 2011, 12:31 PM

I also was like a switch going from not even slighly considering it to ON!!! It's like our biological clock is finally talking to us!

GirlBlue · Jul 20th, 2011, 15:50 PM

Hi ladies,

You all have read my mind. DH and I have been married 5 years and we are both 32. Now that I am seeing my big family multiple children dream seem more and more dreamlike, I am crazy. I have put it off so long and, now that my cycles are starting to change, I'm getting worried. (They were 28 now they're 24-30). (My sister is starting menopause at 38, which is also freaking me out) Plus, I have a lot of pressure from family, friends, and just the good old green monster as I watch others jump into it. DH used to drive me mad pointing out couples who appeared to be 40+ with toddlers as examples of how waiting was not all bad. I couldn't help but think what they might have had to do to their bodies, or the agony of the wait they endured. I don't know if fear is the best motivation, but it's working on me right now...lol

NellieRae · Jul 20th, 2011, 17:57 PM

Fear of still trying to start or complete our family at an *advanced* maternal age is driving me now, as well. I am worried that we'll run out of time or that my fertility isn't what I need....or something. I don't want to be an old parent, unable to keep up with my children or maybe not around for theirs.

Lots of women our age have healthy pregnancies easily - others have to jump through hoops of agony & tears first. Its the fear of the unknown + the possibility of never having something I want so VERY much. I'm not sure how far I would be willing to go if it doesn't happen like I always dreamed it would.

aleja · Jul 21st, 2011, 07:46 AM

hello there, i am a newbie. this is my first post ever! i decided to join after a few weeks of stalking bnb! i too am 33 and feeling the pressure. it feels like everywhere i look friends, family, colleagues are all falling pregnant and having babies. i can't help think i have missed the boat. we been trying for 4 months and it already feels like an eternity.
its great to know i am not the only one and its been inspiring to hear so many similar stories to mine x

Jul 20th, 2011, 10:05 AM	#1
inpghttc Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 649	Soon to be 34 and feeling pressured, anyone else?!?! Hello all...I am going to be 34 in Septmeber and was wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and may be having feelings like I am having. I just (today) got my first AF after stopping the pill and am planning on TTC this cycle. I am feeling a slight rushed against time to get my BFP before November and here is why... I used to think that I had until I was 35 to get pregnant without being considered high risk. I just recently found out that the magic age of 35 is the age in which the baby is born, NOT the age in which you conceive. So, for me to deliver at age 34, I need to conceive by around November/December of 2011. Now, I am fully aware that many people have babies after the age of 35 and everything ends up being totally fine...I just guess that wanting to beat the "high risk pregnancy" status has me feeling a little nervous and pressured and was wanted to bring it up here to see if I am alone with the feeling or if anyone else feels the same way?

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Jul 20th, 2011, 11:05 AM	#2
Ambree Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Caspian Navigator Posts: 424	Well I am your age also, except I turn 34 in March I did not start to really want a baby until last year and have been off the pill since July 2010. But I was on it for so long!!! And I was so ignorant of my own biology ... anyway so here we are at 5 or 6 dpo and hoping for a BFP. This is my fourth attempt. Every time I get a BFN I feel like I have failed somehow or that I must be starting menopause melodramatic hormones lol My sister went off the pill at 34 and one or two or cycles later she was BFP. She will have her first baby next month at 35

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Jul 20th, 2011, 11:13 AM	#3
inpghttc Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 649	Thanks Ambree! I feel the same way! Let's keep in touch and update each other throughout this journey!

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Jul 20th, 2011, 11:25 AM	#4
Kaleido Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 196	Hi, im 33 as well and this is my first month ttc.....and god do I feel under tremendous pressure to have babies NOW! Its like my brain suddenly clicked and I did the math....and that houseful of children seemed like only wishful thinking. The love of my life and I found each other late, and I also own a skill related business that I work alone in(and make more$ ) so the timing was never right for me, even tho I've always wanted to be a mom. But now that we have decided to do it im soo impatient!

Status: Offline

Jul 20th, 2011, 11:28 AM	#5
Ambree Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Caspian Navigator Posts: 424	For sure better to write about it than incessantly crawl through the internet seeking matching symptoms This time around I don't have much appetite and I have slight flu like symptoms - but I'm under more pressure than usual and it's winter here so I sinus and glands is hardly remarkable. My close friend is also pregnant (34) and she is due one month after my sister. My cousin (37) is having her first baby around the same time. So I guess its babymania. It seems everyone is having babies or rather - everyone CAN have babies except for me. Have you noticed a change in your cycles the past few years? In my 20s my cycles were clockwork 27 or 28, since trying from October 2010 my cycles have been 25 or 26 days and twice they were 35. So of course to me that means I am approaching menopause. I told my doctor this and he just laughed and told me not to be ridiculous. lol

Status: Offline

Jul 20th, 2011, 12:31 PM	#7
inpghttc Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 649	I also was like a switch going from not even slighly considering it to ON!!! It's like our biological clock is finally talking to us!

Status: Offline

Jul 20th, 2011, 15:50 PM	#8
GirlBlue Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 648	Hi ladies, You all have read my mind. DH and I have been married 5 years and we are both 32. Now that I am seeing my big family multiple children dream seem more and more dreamlike, I am crazy. I have put it off so long and, now that my cycles are starting to change, I'm getting worried. (They were 28 now they're 24-30). (My sister is starting menopause at 38, which is also freaking me out) Plus, I have a lot of pressure from family, friends, and just the good old green monster as I watch others jump into it. DH used to drive me mad pointing out couples who appeared to be 40+ with toddlers as examples of how waiting was not all bad. I couldn't help but think what they might have had to do to their bodies, or the agony of the wait they endured. I don't know if fear is the best motivation, but it's working on me right now...lol

Status: Offline

Jul 20th, 2011, 17:57 PM	#9
NellieRae Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Southwest, United States Posts: 1,013	Fear of still trying to start or complete our family at an advanced maternal age is driving me now, as well. I am worried that we'll run out of time or that my fertility isn't what I need....or something. I don't want to be an old parent, unable to keep up with my children or maybe not around for theirs. Lots of women our age have healthy pregnancies easily - others have to jump through hoops of agony & tears first. Its the fear of the unknown + the possibility of never having something I want so VERY much. I'm not sure how far I would be willing to go if it doesn't happen like I always dreamed it would.

Status: Offline

Jul 21st, 2011, 07:46 AM	#10
aleja Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,122	hello there, i am a newbie. this is my first post ever! i decided to join after a few weeks of stalking bnb! i too am 33 and feeling the pressure. it feels like everywhere i look friends, family, colleagues are all falling pregnant and having babies. i can't help think i have missed the boat. we been trying for 4 months and it already feels like an eternity. its great to know i am not the only one and its been inspiring to hear so many similar stories to mine x

Status: Offline

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