Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Sep 11th, 2013, 21:03 PM   6041
No Doubt
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6,601
Ditto back at cha hun. Hubbs feels so stuck now that we have a baby, but sometimes you have to let go of things and move on. Some things just aren't for you, and I'd rather see him happy, well and actually see him, than him be stressed all the time. I know a door will open for both our hubbs.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 12th, 2013, 07:30 AM   6042
Godsjewel
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Posts: 2,300
Have you ever noticed that anytime you decide to spend time with God that something or someone gets in the way? Your crazy friend (we all have them) calls to tell you how her kids are making her nuts, or your cousin emails you her latest sonogram picture. Or perhaps you start your period again, and realize that your long sought after dream of pregnancy will have to wait for at least another month. All this happens just when you settle down with your Bible to find a few precious moments of quiet time alone with God. Instead of a few moments of peace with the Prince of Peace, you’re sobbing into your pillow again. Your mind isn’t on the goodness of God. It’s on the emptiness of your womb.

Satan’s primary battlefield is your mind. He would love to bombard your mind with so many distractions that you forget to focus on the realities of who God is. Just when you determine to walk in the truth that God is for you and not against you, Satan will remind you of how many of your school classmates have had babies, and many are pregnant with their second, yet you have none. He’ll whisper to your heart, “Does that sound like God is for you?” Don’t allow him to distract you with lies. Remember that Satan is the father of lies, and he uses them well.

People around us can cause distractions to your worship as well. Plain and simple. They can say and do hurtful things that leave us scratching our heads in confusion. Why did she say that? Why did they do that? What did I do to deserve this? Anger starts to build and we get distracted from our worship again. “She knows better than that. She knows it just about kills me every time I hear her tell about her labor and delivery. She knows it rips my heart out! Why can’t she understand how hard this is for me? Why doesn’t she care about me more?” It really does seem like those around us should know better, doesn’t it? It seems like those who have loved us our entire lives should understand the hurts we carry, but so often they don’t. Friends and family members somehow can’t see inside our hearts and see the burdens and scars our hearts bear.

Infertility consumes us. It overwhelms every part of us. It infiltrates our emotions, our relationships, our finances, our intimacies. It becomes so much a part of so much of who we are. Without realizing it, we begin to expect people around us to understand what it’s like to be infertile. We long for understanding that we cannot even verbalize. I wonder if we are not holding people to a standard that only God Himself can meet? When we do so, we become distracted and shift our focus away from a perfect God and onto imperfect people.

If you find yourself angry or frustrated today, perhaps you have become distracted. Perhaps you have shifted your gaze away from a perfect God to imperfect people. It’s easy to do, isn’t it? Why not make a conscious choice to shift your gaze and your affections back to our perfect God. Look on Him. Tell Him how amazing He is. Talk about His wonders and His deeds. If you don’t know what to say, flip your bible open to the Psalms. David wrote many of the Psalms and he had quite a way with words! He’ll help you get started. Before long, you may find praise pouring from your own tongue.

Infertility is a lot of things. It is a physical, emotional, relational and financial crisis in a young couple’s life. It is an anvil on which many marriages are strengthened and some are destroyed. It is definitely a time of spiritual maturity. It can also be a huge distraction to prayer and worship. Don’t allow infertility to stand in the way of worshipping the God who gave His Baby for you. Instead, let it be the vehicle that carries you to the God who loves you, who has amazing plans for your life, and who rejoices over you with singing.

-Beth Forbus



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 13th, 2013, 07:33 AM   6043
Godsjewel
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Posts: 2,300
You have dealt well with Your servant, O Lord, according to Your word. Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.

Psalm 119:65-67

Do you realize that God can bring good out of your struggle with infertility? It seems that nothing good can come from this, doesn’t it? It seems that some days all you can possibly imagine is the hurt that comes from it. It hurts when someone asks you why you don’t have children yet, and you can’t think of an answer. It hurts when you run into a former classmate with her three children in tow, and you have nothing but the newest round of prescriptions in hand. It hurts when you start another period and another year without a pregnancy. It hurts when you must look your only child in the face and explain that you don’t know if she’ll ever have a sibling. It hurts when you’ve trusted a silent God through month after month after year after year of trying to have a baby, but He still won’t place a baby in your womb.

How can I seriously ask you accept that this same God can bring good from your as-of-yet unmet desire for a baby? It may be hard to see while you are in the midst of the fight, but I believe the day will come when you will be able to look back at your fertility fight with sincere gratitude. One day you’ll offer praise to the same God who took you by the hand and led you through the very difficult and dark valleys He is leading you through today, even if you cannot sense His presence at this moment.

Perhaps the answer is found in Psalm 119:65-67. Read it with me, my friend.

“You have dealt well with Your servant, O Lord, according to Your word. Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.”

What was it like for you before you knew that having a baby would be one of the hardest trials you would ever have to face? How is it different now? For most of us, infertility brings a spiritual crisis. We cry out to God when baby hunger invades our lives. Do you search the Scriptures for answers? Do you seek the advice of godly counsel? Perhaps you’ve started going to church again when you had become slack in your devotion to God when life was easy. If any of these situations are the case, then infertility has been a blessing in your life! If the hardship that infertility brings to your life has caused you to seek out God in any way, then along with the difficulty it brings, infertility has also delivered a blessing to your life!

Anything that causes you to seek out God brings blessing to you. Any situation that drives you to your knees is good for you. Don’t misunderstand me--I know infertility is probably the most confusing and hurtful situation you’ve ever faced. However, along with heartache, infertility carries with it the blessing of being a catalyst in intensifying your relationship with God. Because of the hurt of infertility, you may call on God for healing. Because of the confusion infertility brings, you seek the wisdom of God. Because you recognize God as the one and only giver of life, you bow in submission and ask Him to place life in your womb.

When you reach the other side of your infertility story, and you are able to look back at how your story resolved, how do you think you’ll view God? Do you think you’ll have a different view than you had at the beginning of your walk with Him? As you walk through the hardships of infertility, you’re learning more and more about God and His character in ways you never could have learned any other way. Why would you ever want to stray from Him?

Before you were afflicted--before infertility tore your heart into--you might not have been so determined to learn of God. You might not have been so desperate to know His plan for your life. Infertility forced you to call His Name in ways you never cared to before. Once you know God in intimate ways, why would you ever want to stray?

-Beth Forbus



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 16th, 2013, 07:34 AM   6044
Godsjewel
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Posts: 2,300
There was a study done that looked at the compliance rates for patients undergoing treatment for infertility. They found that fertility patients were as committed to their treatment plans or more so than any other patients, except cancer patients. The fertility patient understood the importance of compliance with treatment. The woman who so desperately wants to have a baby will do whatever it takes to conceive. If a report surfaces that says it is important for a woman’s fertility for her to eat lots of African yams, then the infertile woman will travel to whatever grocery store she can find that carries them and will eat them until her skin turns orange, just on the outside chance that it will help. She’ll lie on acupuncturists’ tables, try any variety of diets and exercise, assume whatever post-baby-dance position successful friends have suggested and rearrange any number of schedules to make sure her medications are taken at the exact moment the doctor prescribed--not one minute before, not one minute after. And for the love of God and everything holy, don’t even let her man even look toward a hot tub! She’ll body slam him right there on the side walk! It’s important to keep his body cool these days! She knows that all of these things are vitally important in her quest for a baby, and she must see to it that each and every suggestion is followed precisely.

In the midst of keeping up with all of these truly important things in your journey toward parenthood--and these are important things--have you forgotten the most important thing? Has your relationship with God withered? It’s easy to pull away from Him if it feels like He is the cause of the hurt that infertility has brought into your life. If your heart feels bruised, remind yourself that infertility is not His way of laughing at your pain, or some demented way of deriving pleasure from your sorrow. On the contrary, He works through this crisis in your life to bring you into closer relationship with Him so you can know Him more, so you can hear His voice more clearly, so you can see Him working in your life. Let’s take a moment and learn a quick lesson about what Jesus said were two of the most important things in maintaining our relationship with God, no matter what crisis life brings.

Jesus very clearly taught us that the greatest commandment of all was to love God. To love Him wholeheartedly, with everything in us. With our whole heart, our soul and with our whole mind. (Matthew 22:37) He said this mattered more than the command to not commit adultery, to not lie or steal. It is even greater than the command to not murder someone!


He also showed us with His actions that prayer was to be a priority. In Mark 11:15-17 we see Jesus doing something that must have shocked His disciples. He entered a temple and saw moneychangers taking advantage of the people. They were cheating the people out of money by selling them less than perfect animals for sacrifices. In a rage, Jesus fashioned a whip out of ropes and went after them! I’m sure He let out quite a roar as He turned over their tables, threw their money everywhere, chased their animals away. It was quite chaotic!

When He had cleansed the temple of the people who brought the filth of unclean hearts to His Father’s house, Jesus said, “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations...” (Mark 11:17) He showed with His actions how important prayer is. Our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19) Prayer must be a priority in your temple. Don’t let the stress and the frustration of infertility cause you to let your prayer life weaken or die. If prayer has become a less frequent or less vibrant part of your relationship with God, you can refresh this part of your walk with Him today.

Don’t forget the important things. Follow the treatment plan laid out for you in cooperation with your medical team. Remember all the wonderful things about your spouse that attracted you to him in the first place. Remind yourself that infertility is a season in your life, and that it will not last forever. But most importantly, nourish your relationship with your heavenly Father. He loves you. He’s passionate about you, and He will bring you through this struggle in your life with blessings you never could have imagined.

-Beth Forbus



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 16th, 2013, 10:51 AM   6045
xxx_faithful
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas (Australian)
Posts: 441
I found this thread on a Facebook page, Birth Without Fear.

>>>


Birth Without Fear
I am strong because on October 15th, 2010 at 37 weeks pregnant we walked into our OB office and found out our son Tiberius had passed away.

I am strong because I laboured for 12 beautiful hours and gave birth to my stillborn son in a silent room.

I am strong because on October 22nd 2010, my husband and I buried our first child.

I am strong because 12 weeks after we buried our first son we found out we were expecting again.

I am strong because on May 2nd, 2011, at 18 weeks pregnant, we found out our second son Jacob would not be coming home with us, he was given a fatal diagnosis.

I am strong because despite having a fatal diagnosis we chose to carry Jacob and do everything we possibly could.

I am strong because during the next 18 weeks Jacob's diagnosis changed into something no medical doctor had ever seen before and his prognosis became unknown.

I am strong because on September 5th, 2011, our son Jacob was born via c-section. He cried even though we were told he would not.

I am strong because for the next 2 1/2 days Jacob fought so hard to stay with us and we fought so hard to keep him comfortable and did everything we could.

I am strong because at 7:45pm on September 7th, we had to make a decision no parent should ever have to make, we pulled his life support and Jacob peacefully passed away.

I am strong because on September 14th, 2011 we buried our second child.

I am strong because 9 months after we buried Jacob we decided to try once more.

I am strong because we became pregnant with what we hoped would truly be our rainbow babe.

I am strong because at 18 weeks we found out we were having a healthy little girl.

I am strong because I carried her for 36 1/2 weeks all along knowing we could lose her too.

I am strong because on January 8th, 2013, I was induced and we were on the way to meeting our miracle babe.

I am strong because after 16 rough hours of vbac labour, our miracle baby, Phoebe Faith, was born. Crying, screaming, healthy and alive.

I am strong because even though I only parent one child, I am a mother of three.

I am strong because I have carried 3 children full term but two already reside in Heaven.

I am strong because I chose to cling onto hope and faith when everything else was against us.

I am strong because parenting a rainbow baby is a challenging time in life.

I am strong because my hopes and dreams have been shattered but I chose to hold on and now have a beautiful little girl who is the light of my life.

Mamas who have endured loss, don't ever give up. Your rainbow could be one more rainy day away.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 17th, 2013, 07:27 AM   6046
Godsjewel
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Posts: 2,300
Do you have that wonderful invention in your home called Tivo? Oh, if you don’t, turn off your computer and run to the store right now and get it! I don’t know who the genius is who invented it but I’d like to take him or her to dinner and buy him or her the best steak in town. I just think it’s amazing. It has forever changed how I watch television. If my favorite character on my favorite show says something amazingly romantic and I want to watch it again, well, back it up and play it again, Sam! If my husband has left the room, I can pause it and wait for him to come back and we’ll watch it together. I can record and save the episodes I want to watch again, and delete those I didn’t like. And you know how incredibly frustrating it is to forget that your favorite show came on while you were grocery shopping? Not anymore! I’ll never miss an episode of my favorite show again--this miracle in a box records it for me. I have to admit though, the best part for me is that if I don’t want to sit through endless rounds of diaper commercials, I don’t have to. I can jump right through them and get to the part I want to watch. Oh, how life needs Tivo!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could Tivo through the difficult times in your infertility story? You could replay the early scenes of your marriage before you knew infertility would play a leading role in the story of your life. What a beautiful romance it was! You could sail past the days when you didn’t understand the doctor’s diagnosis or God’s plan, and re-play the days when everything made sense. You could delete the arguments you had with your spouse over whether or not to continue trying and replay the days when your marriage seemed strengthened by infertility’s fire. If only you could skip the negative pregnancy tests and the repeated miscarriages you’ve had to endure and jump right through to the glorious day you finally hold your healthy full-term baby in your arms! Oh, how life needs Tivo!

One of the frustrating aspects of infertility is the unknown. If you just knew that the end result of this struggle would be that you would eventually bring home a healthy baby, then you could endure all the hardship you face today. If you could Tivo through all the difficulties you live through every single day of your life, and see that in 17 months, 1 week and 4 days you’ll finally get a positive pregnancy test, then you could handle anything that comes your way, but it just doesn’t happen like that. God asks you to trust Him through the unknown days of infertility. He’ll show you what you need to know a step at a time.

Luke 11 tells us that when Jesus’ disciples approached Him and asked Him to teach them how to pray, part of His example to them was to ask for “daily bread.” Do you realize that Jesus did not instruct them to ask God to provide for them for the rest of their lives, although God clearly has the capability to do so? He didn’t even tell them to ask God to provide for them for the next few days. He told them to ask God to provide for them for that day, and that day alone. There was no need to worry about what would happen when the provision for that day ran out. Apparently, Jesus wanted them to ask for daily bread the next day. And the next. And the next. Staying totally dependent on Him, and not worrying about tomorrow. In Matthew 6:34 Jesus says So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Trust God to provide for you--emotionally, physically, relationally, every way--through out this journey through infertility. He will provide for you what you need as you need it. He will provide your daily bread.

If the uncertainty of infertility is driving you crazy, hear Jesus telling you to ask for your daily bread, the strength you need to make it today. Hear Jesus telling you not to worry about tomorrow, just gain strength from the daily bread He’ll provide for you today.

Maybe life doesn’t need Tivo after all.

-Beth Forbus



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 17th, 2013, 15:47 PM   6047
me222
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: australia
Posts: 142
HI all,
Nothing new with me babywise- sadly...well, except another missionary at church said they had a word for my husband and I (which is different for us- my hubby and I are a bit conservative). He told us that God told him to tell us that our desire is in line with His will. He said the first thought that popped into his head was 'baby' (he doesn't know we've been ttc for a few years now), but he said he also wondered whether it was about us returning working where we are (we're currently serving at an orphanage in another country and are supporting ourselves through our savings..but won't have enough to support ourselves next year so are wondering whether to work back in Australia, or raise support). Anyway, in talking with my husband later on- it seems our main common desire is for a child. As for whether we return serving in this country we are in- we are content for whereever God leads us.
We don't know what to think of this "word" someone had for us. I don't want to have false hope and rely on something which may not be true. I want to rely on Jesus regardless of what happens. Of course, we would love, love a baby of our own.

It's hard sometimes- especially when people say things like "You guys have it good. You don't have to get up in the middle of the night; you can sleep in, etc, etc..." If only they knew how much we pray and long for a child. I'm sure all of you have similar stories of others saying stuff without thinking?
If we ever bear a child, I'm going to start opening up about infertility on Facebook just to help people realise that they need to be really sensitive to others and stop asking "when" a couple is going to have children (as if it;s so easy for all of us). Who is with me on this?
Your sister in Jesus.



Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 17th, 2013, 16:11 PM   6048
ProfWife
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FL
Posts: 1,318
I've been drawn to the idea of finally opening up about our infertility issues as well. Not sure what mode that will take.

I'm not sure what to think about your word...I'd like to believe that those are real. Many of them are. However, I'm also fairly conservative in that area for wanting to verify or seek deeper info on where that came from.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 18th, 2013, 07:34 AM   6049
Godsjewel
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Posts: 2,300
Quote:
Originally Posted by me222 View Post
HI all,
Nothing new with me babywise- sadly...well, except another missionary at church said they had a word for my husband and I (which is different for us- my hubby and I are a bit conservative). He told us that God told him to tell us that our desire is in line with His will. He said the first thought that popped into his head was 'baby' (he doesn't know we've been ttc for a few years now), but he said he also wondered whether it was about us returning working where we are (we're currently serving at an orphanage in another country and are supporting ourselves through our savings..but won't have enough to support ourselves next year so are wondering whether to work back in Australia, or raise support). Anyway, in talking with my husband later on- it seems our main common desire is for a child. As for whether we return serving in this country we are in- we are content for whereever God leads us.
We don't know what to think of this "word" someone had for us. I don't want to have false hope and rely on something which may not be true. I want to rely on Jesus regardless of what happens. Of course, we would love, love a baby of our own.

It's hard sometimes- especially when people say things like "You guys have it good. You don't have to get up in the middle of the night; you can sleep in, etc, etc..." If only they knew how much we pray and long for a child. I'm sure all of you have similar stories of others saying stuff without thinking?
If we ever bear a child, I'm going to start opening up about infertility on Facebook just to help people realise that they need to be really sensitive to others and stop asking "when" a couple is going to have children (as if it;s so easy for all of us). Who is with me on this?
Your sister in Jesus.
I'm praying for you sis and believing that if you and your hubby still have that desire in your hearts, that it's there for a reason. I've told the story about my mom's friend who wanted children and never had any. She prayed to God and said, "If your will is for me not to have children, please take this desire from me." I don't know how long it took, but the desire went away. God has a specific plan for each of us and it's always for the good. We just have to be patient and trust in Him completely. I have learned so many things not being able to conceive for 6 years and I wouldn't take it back. I know God was doing a complete work in me and my family and I'm very thankful for it. There were times in our relationship that having a baby would of made things a little more difficult. God's timing is perfect

I definitely think infertility is something that is not talked about often and people aren't educated enough about it and that's why they tend to make those comments and I'm sure when they say those things, they don't realize they are hurting you.

What country are you serving in?



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 19th, 2013, 07:30 AM   6050
Godsjewel
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California
Posts: 2,300
I loved teaching Bible to eighth graders in the Christian school!

At the beginning of the grading period I told the students to prepare for ‘Soap Opera Day’ and reminded them again at the beginning of the week just before the day. Their curiosity had been built up to such a level that not one of the 120 students was absent that day! They couldn’t wait to see what the Bible said about soap operas!

The lesson was actually about the twelve sons of Jacob, which involved one husband, two wives, and two maids! The meanings of the names of the sons tell a story of love, jealousy, faith, and rejoicing. The whole thing rivals soap operas with its intricate love triangle!

At the beginning and at the end of the lesson I told the students they were going to have a quiz on that day’s information. I also instructed them several times to memorize the names and their meanings of each of the twelve sons. I emphasized they would have a quiz on what they memorized. They thoroughly enjoyed the class and couldn’t wait to hear the rest of the story!

The next day all 120 students, class at a time hurried in anxious to hear about Jacob. Instead of teaching, I said, “Students, clear your desks for a quiz. Number your paper 1 to 12 and write the names of the 12 sons of Jacob in order. Beside each name, write the meaning of the name. You have 15 minutes. You may begin.”

Ooooh! You should have heard the groans! They frowned and sighed and moaned as only 13-year-old students treated unjustly can do! Only two or three students even passed the quiz—just like I had expected!

The next day, they dragged into the class still mumbling a little about how unfair I had been the day before. A couple from each class asked if I had graded the quiz or if I would consider dropping the lowest grade this grading period. I informed them that yes, I had graded the quizzes and, no, I’d not drop the lowest grade. I’d return the quizzes later in the class.

Eyes nearly popped out of sockets and gasps were literally heard in the classroom when the students saw their graded quiz papers! Every quiz had the earned grade with another number under it added to it to equal 100. Everyone made 100 on the quiz. However, the earned grades were 0’s, 10’s, 50’s, and a couple 80’s. Beside each 100 was written the following Scripture:

and the grace of our LORD was exceedingly abundant

1 Timothy 1:14

Then I proceeded to teach the students the meaning of grace. Grace has been defined as ‘undeserved favor.’ In other words, you are given something great that you did not earn even though you should have earned it. I told the students they really should have earned a good grade as I told them repeatedly what to do—memorize the names and meanings. I told them ahead of time and explained things and even made it enjoyable. Yet, they did not heed my words to memorize. I don’t know what they did instead. What I did for my students with the quiz is what God does for us with our sin and our heartache.

With my students, I added however many points each one needed in order to make 100. If one student needed 99 points to make 100—that’s what I added to the grade. If another needed 57 points to make 100—that’s what I added to the grade. With God, no matter how much one has sinned and no matter how deeply into sin one has fallen, God adds that much grace—to make us all the same in His sight.

Because of His unlimited and unconditional love for you, He does the same thing in all areas of your life—not just sin. He adds grace—undeserved favor, blessing, goodness, gifts, strength, patience, healing, joy—to whatever measure you need because He loves you so! In the original text, the word is hyperpleonazein and it literally means “super-abound.” The grace of God super-abounds on you. God’s grace is more than abundant for you in your time of need.

Ever think you cannot make it another month of infertility? Another week? Through another test? God’s grace for you is super-abounding on you—bringing you to the top level of success! My students had to wait for the graded test back to understand what they thought was unfair treatment. They learned that I was teaching them a lesson and I was not unfair. Hold on and trust God. He isn’t unfair!

-Paulette Delaney



 
Status: Offline
 
Reply



Bookmarks

Tags
anther , christian , encourage , ladies , ttc

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search






SEO by vBSEO