Support thread for all the atheist,agnostic,non-religious and secular humanist TTCers

Originally Posted by westfall

Beccaboop:
I have struggled with this issue so much especially in the last few years of my life. So much so that it became a mini existential crisis, I would literally lay awake at night just thinking about the problem. I came to a really peaceful resolution to this one day that dying is probably pretty much like things were before I was born. I dont remember being present when my parents were young or in the middle ages or in ancient rome, yet I dont feel like I "missed out" I simply did not exist. And when I die I will again cease to exist and it really wont matter.

In short it is super hard to convince your mind to be ok with no longer existing because our brains are not designed to cope with that reality. You cannot imagine not existing, but i think when the time comes it wont matter!

Yeah I thought that too but it does bother me that I didnt exist before I was born (even tho I know it is impossible) I feel like I've missed out on so much and I'm going to miss so much when I'm gone too like meeting my great great grandchildren and all the advances in technologies and science and whatever else!! I don't want to not matter!! Maybe I need professional help with this!!

I lay awake at night thinking about it too I have to force myself to not think about it!! I'm also quite scared of dyeing I really hope I get to live a long long time!

Thanks for replying xxxx

Beccaboop sorry you are having a tough time atheism can be a lonely and difficult path and many people(like me at times) wish they could have some kind of faith but just cannot reconcile it with their own knowledge of reality. i have to admit that i see a psychologist and have spoken to him about my existential problems and it is really helpful. if you feel you need to talk i would strongly recommend seeing someone. it doesn't have the stigma tht it used to it only makes sense to care for your mental as well as physical health! I used to work as a crisis counsellor while having a counsellor myself! Lol. most people have priest or spiritual leader to tak to about these kind of.things but we.don't have that.luxury so it seems totally reasonable to talk to someone!

If you need to talk you can pm me too, i totally get what you are going through

Hi! Another non-religious couple TTC here!

DH was raised super Catholic and remained that way until his mid 20's. He then decided he didn't believe in any of it although his parents, siblings, and their spouses and children are all still super Catholic and they give him a lot of grief for leaving the church.

I never really bought into religion in the first place although I attended Catholic school and went to church every weekend (Episcopalian with my Mom, Southern Baptist with my Dad). I honestly think all that exposure to various types of Christianity allowed me to see the holes in everyone's arguments. Nobody had the same story!

Anyway, although I claim to be Christian, I'm pseudo-Christian at best. I guess I still believe in heaven, but you'll also find me in Buddhist temples with incense, I have Buddhist prayers flags around my house, and I've attended Hindu religious ceremonies. I go out and commune with nature from time to time.

You may say I'm very spiritual, but not religious in any way.

DH and I had a pagan handfasting ceremony when we got married and I believe we just about freaked our families out!! Oh well.

We live in the South so we have God rammed down our throats. If I hear "God will give you a baby when it's time" one more time I'm going to scream. Like someone said, I don't have a baby because I have a LP defect.

We will probably expose our children to multiple religions and then let them decide if they want to participate in one.

You guys are right though. Saying you don't believe is like "coming out" of some terrible closet. Nobody wants to admit they don't believe in anything! For me and DH it might be easier because we are both in academia and most of our colleagues don't follow any particular religion but out in the real world, we catch a lot of grief for it.

I struggle with understanding what happens after death too. In the end, I might just have to say that I don't know. I know there are some atheist/agnostic orgs out there that might provide a community of people to talk with. I'm trying to handle it by appreciating life more.

I'm in the situation where my friends are non-religious, but my family is religious. Although I left Catholicism years ago, I haven't really "come out" to my family yet about not being Christian. Many of my friends have been non-religious for a long time, but they don't often think or talk about it because it's not new to them.

welcome operationbbyo! I think our cycles are about the same, what day are you testing? I am probably going to test around the 28th. Ive never met a baptist (not too many here in Canada) but I hear they are quite "intense" lol. Lots of fire and brimstone.

I listened to a very interesting podcast which was technically about the dark ages (history is one of my hobbies, im a bit of an armchair historian) but tied in a lot about the evolution of christianity. I really enjoyed it kind of answered the question of how did this break of sect of judaism that started out as practically suicidally pacifistic (ie. went praying and singing to their executions) became the religion that engaged in the crusades and the inquisition. something I have always wondered about

The idea is that this religion was picked up by the Roman empire who were obscenely brutal and made into a state religion. So as christianity filtered through the Romans it moulded into something different by necessity (they couldnt very well have their legions being pacifists) Then it was taken up by Germanic tribes who were even MORE warlike than the Romans and it changed even more until you have what we see today! The ethnic Germans (in like 700CE ish) even has Jesus, this originally prince of peace holding axes and standing on piles of dead in their sculptures by this point.

Probably extremely boring to most, but I find it fascinating

Originally Posted by Beccaboop

Can I ask you ladies a question?? I don't know many non religious people or atheists so I don't have anyone to talk to about this:

What do you think happens after you die??

As a total atheist so I don't beleive in heaven or hell but I get a but freaked out thinking that there's just nothing at all I think the scariest thing is that i won't even be aware of the nothingness cos I will be nothing too with no consciousness (I know this probably makes no sense sorry)

I cant totally see why people believe in heaven and hell it's a lot less scary than nothing but I just can't believe in something that I honestly don't just cos it's less scary!!

So what do you think happens? And if you think it's just nothing then how do you deal with that?? I never ever want to die!!

Sorry for bringing up death and being morbid (af started today so im a bit emotional and depressed!! )

I don´t know about others, but here are my views.

I was raised lutheran, but I don´t think I really ever was religious.
I was baptised at the age of 6 weeks, and then went ahead and got christened when I was 13 years old. I just went with the flow.
My country is largely christian/lutheran, with several smaller beliefs.

I signed myself out of the lutheran church 2 years ago, because I finally had enough of pretending.

I don´t really know what it´s called that I believe in, but it´s not Atheist.
It´s probably closer to Spiritualism, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritualism

Not excactly alike it, but somewhat close.

Basically, I believe that there are spirits walking among us, most of them are friendly and only want to help, but some are angry and want to vent their anger somewhere.
I have seen some of them, but mostly it´s just a feeling I get when they are close.
I personally have 3 guardian "angels", as my mother would call them, and I know they´re there.
I just call them spirits.

I know this will sound completely crazy, but I believe that when we die, that we cross over to this spirit realm, and wait there to be reborn again. The wait depends on a lot of factors. For instance, you could be waiting there for your other half (soul mate) to die, so that you can start the next life together, or you could be waiting to help someone do something in their life (like your little brother always wanted to achieve something), or some other reason that I have no idea about.

My belief in this is reinforced by my own "memories". I remember being alive before this life. I have no idea how many times I´ve been "recycled", but it´s been more than a dozen that I can remember.

I realize this sounds completely mental, but this is as rational as I can make my really weird "memories" and thoughts become.

Hope this makes sense to someone out there.

Originally Posted by preg_pilot

I don´t know about others, but here are my views.

I was raised lutheran, but I don´t think I really ever was religious.
I was baptised at the age of 6 weeks, and then went ahead and got christened when I was 13 years old. I just went with the flow.
My country is largely christian/lutheran, with several smaller beliefs.

I signed myself out of the lutheran church 2 years ago, because I finally had enough of pretending.

I don´t really know what it´s called that I believe in, but it´s not Atheist.
It´s probably closer to Spiritualism, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritualism

Not excactly alike it, but somewhat close.

Basically, I believe that there are spirits walking among us, most of them are friendly and only want to help, but some are angry and want to vent their anger somewhere.
I have seen some of them, but mostly it´s just a feeling I get when they are close.
I personally have 3 guardian "angels", as my mother would call them, and I know they´re there.
I just call them spirits.

I know this will sound completely crazy, but I believe that when we die, that we cross over to this spirit realm, and wait there to be reborn again. The wait depends on a lot of factors. For instance, you could be waiting there for your other half (soul mate) to die, so that you can start the next life together, or you could be waiting to help someone do something in their life (like your little brother always wanted to achieve something), or some other reason that I have no idea about.

My belief in this is reinforced by my own "memories". I remember being alive before this life. I have no idea how many times I´ve been "recycled", but it´s been more than a dozen that I can remember.

I realize this sounds completely mental, but this is as rational as I can make my really weird "memories" and thoughts become.

Hope this makes sense to someone out there.

That all sounds loads better than just nothing!! I wish I could beleive it

Originally Posted by Beccaboop

That all sounds loads better than just nothing!! I wish I could beleive it

To each his own.
I just feel it within myself. Nothing rock solid, just a hunch, and my "memories". I don´t know how else to explain them.

Originally Posted by Beccaboop

I never ever want to die!!

I don´t know if this will comfort you at all Beccaboop, but in my experience (yes I do mean experience, I remember my previous deaths better than any other aspect of my other lives), death is easy. Easier than life anyways. It´s a kind of release. So comfortable.

Sorry if this sounds scary at all.

Hello Everyone,
This thread was a great idea. It's so frustrating for me and uncomfortable when all the support threads read, as someone mentioned, "God says it's not your time" or "God has a plan for you". I don't have a problem with people having their own faith, I just wish they wouldn't assume that I feel the same way. I've only recently "come out" about my atheism to my family. That was a relief. Of course, they all think I'm going to hell but at least they know the real me.

So here's my story:

We have been trying to conceive for 8+ years. We're going on 10 years married this August I am almost finished with a degree in graphic design. Since schooling is wrapping up for me, we are taking it to the next level. I have an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist next month and I'm excited. We are doing what we can at home, for example, we both have lost weight and changed our diets drastically. I know we are in much better shape than we ever were and because of that I'm positive the doctor will be able to help us.

Good luck to everyone!