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Old May 4th, 2013, 09:37 AM   1
greeneyes0279
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How do you ladies do it!!!


I'm struggling to make it through each day. Taking care of twins is so dang hard. Last night was brutal. My son screamed from 3am to 7:30am. The feedings prior to 3am I only got 45 min to an hour sleep between. How do you ladies do it without losing your mind. I'm still in the healing phase. My incision ended up being super low which causes me so much pain. I could use some tips if you ladies have any.



 
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Old May 4th, 2013, 09:48 AM   2
Meezerowner
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Hmm not sure!

It gets better is all I can offer
I think the crazy screaming all night phase settles down after 3 or 4 weeks and then they get a bit more predictable which is better than random timed screaming.
If you can... try and nap a bit in the day when they go to sleep... dunno if that's possible if you have another child tho?

Congrats on your babies tho... I absolutely love the names you chose, they are really unique!



 
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Old May 4th, 2013, 10:33 AM   3
hopingforit
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Honestly, the first 7 weeks were horrible. My babies were in the NICU for 10 and 14 days so going there 6 times a day was horrible especially recovering from a section but it was so much easier than actually having them home. They were in the NICU for eating problems so they were slow eaters even when they came home. It would take an hour to an hour and a half to get milk, feed, change diaper, get back in bed (DH helped with all of this) plus another 20 minutes for me to pump. They were up every 2 1/2-3 hours for food so I would manage to get 30-60 min stretches of sleep. I honestly thought it would never get better even though people told me it would. DH and I were so cranky and we argued a lot because of it but then around 7 weeks, it just got better. They slept 4-5 hour stretches then and now they sleep 8-10 hours. So, it will get better but for now, just try to get through it the best you can. Nap when you have the chance, forget about housework for a while, accept help when someone offers (unfortunaltely I live away from family so only had DH so I had to rely on him a lot), have your OH or mom or anyone take care of the babies for a few hours so you can get a nice solid stretch of sleep. It honestly will get better soon. These weeks seem to drag now but when you look back, you won't even think about how hard it was. Good luck!



 
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Old May 4th, 2013, 11:26 AM   4
greeneyes0279
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Honestly, the first 7 weeks were horrible. My babies were in the NICU for 10 and 14 days so going there 6 times a day was horrible especially recovering from a section but it was so much easier than actually having them home. They were in the NICU for eating problems so they were slow eaters even when they came home. It would take an hour to an hour and a half to get milk, feed, change diaper, get back in bed (DH helped with all of this) plus another 20 minutes for me to pump. They were up every 2 1/2-3 hours for food so I would manage to get 30-60 min stretches of sleep. I honestly thought it would never get better even though people told me it would. DH and I were so cranky and we argued a lot because of it but then around 7 weeks, it just got better. They slept 4-5 hour stretches then and now they sleep 8-10 hours. So, it will get better but for now, just try to get through it the best you can. Nap when you have the chance, forget about housework for a while, accept help when someone offers (unfortunaltely I live away from family so only had DH so I had to rely on him a lot), have your OH or mom or anyone take care of the babies for a few hours so you can get a nice solid stretch of sleep. It honestly will get better soon. These weeks seem to drag now but when you look back, you won't even think about how hard it was. Good luck!
Haven't gotten dh to help with feedings or changing diapers on weekends. He's gone m-f for work. No one imrl understands. I feel so alone. I can't wait till it gets easier.



 
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Old May 4th, 2013, 20:02 PM   5
hopingforit
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Originally Posted by hopingforit View Post
Honestly, the first 7 weeks were horrible. My babies were in the NICU for 10 and 14 days so going there 6 times a day was horrible especially recovering from a section but it was so much easier than actually having them home. They were in the NICU for eating problems so they were slow eaters even when they came home. It would take an hour to an hour and a half to get milk, feed, change diaper, get back in bed (DH helped with all of this) plus another 20 minutes for me to pump. They were up every 2 1/2-3 hours for food so I would manage to get 30-60 min stretches of sleep. I honestly thought it would never get better even though people told me it would. DH and I were so cranky and we argued a lot because of it but then around 7 weeks, it just got better. They slept 4-5 hour stretches then and now they sleep 8-10 hours. So, it will get better but for now, just try to get through it the best you can. Nap when you have the chance, forget about housework for a while, accept help when someone offers (unfortunaltely I live away from family so only had DH so I had to rely on him a lot), have your OH or mom or anyone take care of the babies for a few hours so you can get a nice solid stretch of sleep. It honestly will get better soon. These weeks seem to drag now but when you look back, you won't even think about how hard it was. Good luck!
Haven't gotten dh to help with feedings or changing diapers on weekends. He's gone m-f for work. No one imrl understands. I feel so alone. I can't wait till it gets easier.
Is he actually gone all week or is he there at night/evening? What about weekends? Honestly, my DH told me that he wasn't going to help nights because he works but two babies are a 24/7 job so I told him that he had to help me because of this and though he objected sometimes, he did it. We share 50/50 when he is not at work except when he is studying. I figure that I take care of the babies during the day and that is my "job" so why should I have to do it 24/7 by myself when his job is only 8-5? Hopefully of possible, your DH will help you some when he has free time. I think it's only fair. Also, maybe you can make people in your life understand? Maybe invite them over and let them see you take care of the babies alone so they see how hard it is for you? They might understand if they actually see you?



 
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Old May 5th, 2013, 09:20 AM   6
greeneyes0279
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Originally Posted by hopingforit View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneyes0279 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopingforit View Post
Honestly, the first 7 weeks were horrible. My babies were in the NICU for 10 and 14 days so going there 6 times a day was horrible especially recovering from a section but it was so much easier than actually having them home. They were in the NICU for eating problems so they were slow eaters even when they came home. It would take an hour to an hour and a half to get milk, feed, change diaper, get back in bed (DH helped with all of this) plus another 20 minutes for me to pump. They were up every 2 1/2-3 hours for food so I would manage to get 30-60 min stretches of sleep. I honestly thought it would never get better even though people told me it would. DH and I were so cranky and we argued a lot because of it but then around 7 weeks, it just got better. They slept 4-5 hour stretches then and now they sleep 8-10 hours. So, it will get better but for now, just try to get through it the best you can. Nap when you have the chance, forget about housework for a while, accept help when someone offers (unfortunaltely I live away from family so only had DH so I had to rely on him a lot), have your OH or mom or anyone take care of the babies for a few hours so you can get a nice solid stretch of sleep. It honestly will get better soon. These weeks seem to drag now but when you look back, you won't even think about how hard it was. Good luck!
Haven't gotten dh to help with feedings or changing diapers on weekends. He's gone m-f for work. No one imrl understands. I feel so alone. I can't wait till it gets easier.
Is he actually gone all week or is he there at night/evening? What about weekends? Honestly, my DH told me that he wasn't going to help nights because he works but two babies are a 24/7 job so I told him that he had to help me because of this and though he objected sometimes, he did it. We share 50/50 when he is not at work except when he is studying. I figure that I take care of the babies during the day and that is my "job" so why should I have to do it 24/7 by myself when his job is only 8-5? Hopefully of possible, your DH will help you some when he has free time. I think it's only fair. Also, maybe you can make people in your life understand? Maybe invite them over and let them see you take care of the babies alone so they see how hard it is for you? They might understand if they actually see you?
Yes, he leaves out at 5:30am on Mondays and comes home 6:15pm on Fridays. He likes to stay up late on weekends so getting him to help during those nights is a lost cause. Not gonna happen unfortunately.



 
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Old May 5th, 2013, 18:56 PM   7
MrsC8776
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Just wanted to send you and let you know you are not alone in taking care of babies on your own. My husband works 6 weeks at a time out of country so I'm on my own A LOT! The best thing to do is be prepared. I've started pre making bottles and keeping them in the fridge. My girls are eating every 2-3 hours still so the nights are horrible but I wake the other one up if one wakes for a feeding. It's the only way to stay sane. Having said that... I do feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. Like you I still have a screamer. It's very hard to get stuff done and learning to let things go undone is hard but its a must. I don't really have help either but I'm used to it. Just do what you can and know that you are doing an amazing job! I'll fully admit that I've spent many nights crying while they are crying just because I'm so frustrated, tired (emotionally and physically), feel helpless and just don't know what to do. It is hard, harder than anyone could ever prepare for but like I said just remember you are doing a great job!

I find that trying to time and take a shower one of the hardest things. Well besides trying to find time to feed myself.



 
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Old May 5th, 2013, 19:14 PM   8
greeneyes0279
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Just wanted to send you and let you know you are not alone in taking care of babies on your own. My husband works 6 weeks at a time out of country so I'm on my own A LOT! The best thing to do is be prepared. I've started pre making bottles and keeping them in the fridge. My girls are eating every 2-3 hours still so the nights are horrible but I wake the other one up if one wakes for a feeding. It's the only way to stay sane. Having said that... I do feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. Like you I still have a screamer. It's very hard to get stuff done and learning to let things go undone is hard but its a must. I don't really have help either but I'm used to it. Just do what you can and know that you are doing an amazing job! I'll fully admit that I've spent many nights crying while they are crying just because I'm so frustrated, tired (emotionally and physically), feel helpless and just don't know what to do. It is hard, harder than anyone could ever prepare for but like I said just remember you are doing a great job!

I find that trying to time and take a shower one of the hardest things. Well besides trying to find time to feed myself.
Thanks!



 
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Old May 6th, 2013, 08:51 AM   9
BellaDonna818
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I was extremely fortunate in that my OH works construction, and the babies were born in November, so he was actually laid off when they came home, and for the next 3 months or so. It was definitely a godsend. However, he pretty much NEVER wakes up (not then and not now) when the girls are crying. And since I find it's more annoying trying to wake him up and go get whoever is crying, than just doing it myself, I just leave him sleep and take care of my ladies myself. I definitely agree with Mrs. C, make your bottles ahead of time. I make a pitcher of formula every evening, it's enough to last me a full 24 hours. When the girls were younger, I also poured the formula into bottles right away so that all I had to do when it was time to feed the girls was grab 3 bottles from the fridge and pop them in the microwave (yes I know, microwaves create hot spots, so I shake the bottles up a lot to get rid of them & no problems yet). And with 3 babies, there's no getting around propping bottles sometimes, so I would suggest you try that (idk if you already are or not). Propping bottles when I was feeding the girls at night allowed me to feed everyone at the same time, which massively cut down on the amount of time it took to feed everyone.

As for the crying, 1 of my trio was like that as well, except that it always around 9 or 10 at night, not the early morning. Usually she just needed a lot of coaxing to eat, & then she'd calm down.

And definitely nap when they nap during the day. Even if none of the housework gets done, that's not the most important thing right now; you and the babies are. So let that fall to the wayside for now. And maybe ask a few close friends or family if they would mind popping in to help you with some of the housework. I know I would personally always prefer help with that, than help with the babies.

And I don't know what kind of schedule you have your LO's on, but keeping them on a strict schedule helps A LOT. Mine were on an every 3 hour feeding schedule, day & night. So I always set my alarm so I could get up and get the bottles and diapers ready to feed and change; it just seemed to make things go a bit smoother.

Lots of luck to you!



 
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Old May 6th, 2013, 11:09 AM   10
greeneyes0279
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Yes, mine eat every 3 hours. I can't prop bottles right now as they have problems pacing themselves when eating. They forget to breathe. I can only do 1 at a time right now. They should get better with that as they get older.



 
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