Hi Ladies

My twins are now 4 1/2 months old. Darcie has always been such a pleasant little girl, independent, loves her mat time and sitting in her bouncy chair etc.

Recently it's like we've had role reversal. Callum is now the independent one, he's always chilled out but Darcie has become something else.

I think shes been teething for a couple of weeks but this seems to have now stopped, but she will not be left alone at all. If I put her on her mat for kick time she screams in a proper tantrum, until I pick her up again, she won't be left anywhere unless I take her attention off the fact, i.e change her nappy on the mat first then she'll play for a bit before throwin a tantrum again.

She stares Callum out if Daddy hold him then cries until she has Daddy, then does the same thing with me if I pick Callum up. I can't seriously believe she actually could be jealous at 4 months old but it's becoming hardwork especially when I'm alone with them and Callum is missing out on cuddles as Darcie thinks she owns Mummy.

Am I going mad or can sibling rivalry start so young???? Any suggestions??

Thanks Kel xxx

no idea but sounds manic for you hun. i certainly have one that prefers to be held and doesn't like it when he is alone, so trying to sleep the separately is a big no-no from day one and he will not settled unless his brother is near. the other twins then misses out on cuddles and he settles much easier, so i feel guilty he is missing out.

I'd be interested to know if your's do a role reversal when they get a bit older as Callum was that way when he first came home. Me and the health visitor put it down to him being born so small (3lb 8oz) and him needing to feel protected, but now he's content to play alone on his mat with his toys trying to roll himself over, laughing at everything, whilst Darcie has proper tantrum screams if shes put on the mat, in her bouncy chair or in the door bouncer, she's wearing me out

Kelly one thing I've learnt with twins is that they do the role reversal thing ALL the time! I was actually discussing this with a twin mum I met yesterday and she said her twins do the same. Kaan was my affectionate, cuddly twin, who was very chilled back, whereas Kerem was more independent and disliked cuddles and kisses. Now it's the opposite! Kana will hardly let me cuddle him, has become quite whiney whereas Kerem will often give me cuddles and kisses and is the more chilled out one. But just when I think I've figured them out, I'm sure they'll swap round again, as it's not the first time they've done this. As for what your experiencing at the moment, not sure if it's jealousy as such, but what ive noticed with my two is that whatever one has, or does, the other wants to have/do too! If I pick one up, the other comes running over, arms outstretched. I think it's more like the one I haven't picked up feels he's missing out, rather than it being jealousy. Having said that, mine do get jealous sometimes. If I'm having a cuddle with my eldest or even my husband, Kerem will run over screaming and tries to pull them off me!

Thanks for the replies, I'm starting to think Darcie's behaviour is down to teething she was non stop screaming yesterday until bedtime and then it took 2 hours to get her to go to sleep until me and OH had to give up and go to bed ourselves so all the house was quiet and dark and she eventually went to sleep but was back up at 1.30am.

I'm shattered at the moment with it, OH works night's but has taken this week off to get some rest and has had none so far as Darcie is up at 1.30am, 4.00am and 7.00am. She used to sleep from 10.30pm till 8.00am but I've started putting them to bed at 8.30pm do you think this could be causing problems???

Sorry to keep asking questions!! xxx

I think it sounds like she is just going through an unsettled phase rather than the change in bedtime affecting things. My boys always did (and still do) go through unsettled phases where they don't sleep well.

She could be teething or just going through a growth spurt so give her a few weeks & she if she settles. Have you tried calpol if you think she is teething? Always made a massive difference to my two!

As for the role reversal thing, my two do it ALL the time!! One week Ben will be placid & cuddly & Joshua will be stroppy & difficult & then they swap over!! It's the same with the disturbed nights - Ben will wake in the night & be difficult to settle for a few nights, then they'll both be great & then Joshua will take his turn!!
I'm always being asked which of the boys is more dominant & I always gave to say it changes every week!! x