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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 08:07 AM   11
GodsNotDead23
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No real update today, CP is lower again. Cried last night because of some pretty trivial discussion with DH. He literally said his week off work wasn’t really a week off because he worked on vehicles all week. One of which we couldn’t get fixed and got sold.. his motorcycle.

I literally said “all I meant was you didn’t go to work”. Stomped off and cried and he asked what was wrong. I ACTUALLY believed those exchanges of words meant he didn’t appreciate the last year we lived off my income and my 45 hours a week didn’t matter because I have a {very stressful} office job. And that what he does at home and the Job he’s had for 3 seconds means more than everything I do.

It then turned into a huge stressful convo about feeling useless if I quit my job (which is the plan eventually, probably stay a while longer to get a bigger savings going.) but still.

I lost my marbles last night guys lol no yelling just lots of tears.



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 08:52 AM   12
thencomesbebe
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Oh I'm so sorry!



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 08:58 AM   13
GodsNotDead23
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Originally Posted by thencomesbebe View Post
Oh I'm so sorry!
Itís quite alright he was pretty understanding and validated my feelings. He does sometimes dismiss my job and that we lived off my income only, but in a normal day I know what itís feom and donít make a fuss. But I was just so emotional yesterday lol.

He was raised to believe that if he isnít the main provider he is less than. So I typically do not bring it up and find my validation Iím other places since he already gets grief from his dad.



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 09:02 AM   14
thencomesbebe
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That's not an uncommon societal message for men.



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 09:14 AM   15
GodsNotDead23
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That's not an uncommon societal message for men.
Yes. He was raised extremely old fashioned out in the country. Office jobs, no job, housework is all frowned upon for men and they are made to feel very poorly if they choose that 😐. Heís 23 and has more physical issues than most middle age/elderly I know. Itís unfortunate he pushes himself to satisfy his dads status quo. So sad.

He did stay home for a year doing school and cleaned the house but he got legitimately depressed and I ended up asking him to go back to work and that I wouldnít be disappointed. (I pushed him to break out of the mold and go to school for computer programming and web design.) which he loved, but you could tell the shitty committee in his head made him miserable.

Now heís doing roofing and acting like himself again. Just hard on his body. 🤷*♀️

Sorry venting! Lol



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 09:26 AM   16
thencomesbebe
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Vent away!! People grow a lot in their 20s, this is a really important time in your lives! Always remember that you are a team and partners together and your cup will always be full ❤️



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 09:32 AM   17
GodsNotDead23
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Vent away!! People grow a lot in their 20s, this is a really important time in your lives! Always remember that you are a team and partners together and your cup will always be full ❤️
Exactly. He asked me why I was pushing school. I told him. ď I am your wife. It is your parents responsibility to push. You to be the best version of yourself and have every opportunity to figure out what that is. If they wonít do it, I will. I never want you to be 50, 60 years old and wonder why. You never got a shot at higher education. Now you have and we found out itís not for you and thatís all I ever wanted.Ē

I never want him to lose out on an opportunity because he feels obligated to be ďthe provider.Ē



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 09:39 AM   18
thencomesbebe
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Awwww that's an amazing story ❤️



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 11:41 AM   19
GodsNotDead23
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Awwww that's an amazing story ❤️
Oh my gosh I'm crying again. LOL



 
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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 16:04 PM   20
GodsNotDead23
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Bump.



 
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