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Old May 26th, 2012, 15:57 PM   11
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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You will know, believe me.

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Old May 26th, 2012, 16:19 PM   12
Mum (Mom)
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You just do.

For me personally it was a case of I didn't have to ask myself anymore IYKWIM? For me setting milestones was pointless.

I'd be nearly 70 before I owned a house right.

I've worked since I left school at 16.. With the milestones it's like where do you stop?

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Old May 26th, 2012, 16:34 PM   13
Mum (Mom)
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Originally Posted by hope_fear View Post
i dont think anyone ever knows if theyre ready until it actually happens if that makes sense, cos at that point you just have to face the situation and you ready yourself.
of course there are things you might wanna do, like getting married,buying a house, travel, enjoy life by yourself and with your partner before baby arrives, but theres always so much u can do before the right time comes, i think it just gets to a point when people go, hell, why not? and go for it. i believe even when its planned and youre actively trying to conceive itll still come as a surprise and a shock, its a life changing moment dont think ull ever feel fully prepared and ready for it but once it happens it happens and thats that. humans can adjust to most situations.
definitely agree with this. it's so hard to perfectly time having a child. you just adjust to a new life

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Old May 26th, 2012, 19:29 PM   14
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Hi! Welcome to BnB!

I agree with the others in that you just know! Of course there are practical considerations like finishing school, being out of work etc that you need to think about logically before TTC. But knowing you're ready is a really deep thing you feel in your heart. It's when you change from asking "am I ready?" to saying "I'm still nervous but I know now is the time." I didn't think it would be so bloody obvious for me, but it was like someone turned on a light switch! Trust that it will happen for you too.

As for the house issue, I would like a permanent home but I live in a city where it's very difficult to do that. We have a great apartment that has enough space for a baby. My feeling is, if we can't swing a house right now, our child will be just fine in an apartment for a few years. It's really when they're old enough to play outside on their own that a house and yard are important, IMHO. But everyone is different and we need to do what feels right. Good luck!

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Old May 27th, 2012, 06:01 AM   15
Mum (Mom)
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For us it was when we realized that though we enjoy doing all the things we do together just the two of us, that the things we enjoy doing now in life would be so much more enjoyable with a child to share those experiences with. That doesn't mean we'll never enjoy doing things just the two of us again after we start a family or that we'll never travel by ourselves, etc., but we feel really satisfied that we wouldn't enjoy life more if we had more time to ourselves before having children.

Finances or professional pursuits or owning a home don't figure into it at all, though obviously we're in a position where we can financial support a family. We know plenty of people own their own homes or have more financial stability than we do, but they aren't ready for children, nor would they be able to provide a child the kinds of things I feel we can.

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Old May 27th, 2012, 08:13 AM   16
I Love Lucy
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I think what "milestones" are necessary before TTC depends on what is important to you. I don't believe marriage is important before TTC (as long as you are in a stable relationship) but then there are several people on here that would say they wouldn't TTC without being married first. I think you need to talk to your OH and find out what "milestones" are important to you guys.

As for being ready, I think it's something you just know and can't be told if you are or you're not.

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Old May 28th, 2012, 09:20 AM   17
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I find it interesting when people have buying a house as a milestone...Here in Helsinki, Finland housing is so expensive and I dont want to get into a 30 years mortgage that its never gonna happen for us unless I have a huge inheritance someday, so thats never been a milestone for me...I guess for me my milestone is finishing school and having a stable job which will happen for me next winter. In my heart im 100% ready and have been for a while now. I dont really dream of doing things solo anymore or with just me and DH, my dreams include travelling with bebe and spending time with LO and extended family. + I dont take fertility for granted, I would be absolutely heartbroken if I waited to achieve a zillion goals just to find out I cant conceive anymore...I guess im a little paranoid about that.

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