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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 09:32 AM   21
aimee-lou
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What is best for baby is best for Mum, and vice versa. In my case I really did not want to BF - I felt it was the wrong choice for me as a person, as a mother, and for us as a family. As it is, 2nd time around I had medical issues which meant that I was even more sure that FF was the right choice. I too have 2 very healthy children who were/are FF from birth. I have never regretted my choice, never had any problems from the formula (I know I'm lucky in that) and my bond with my babies is amazing.

As it is, I believe that everyone has the right the make their own choices as a parent, and no-one should/can make them change their mind. Equally though, I don't think anyone should feel guilty about using formula to feed their child. They are simply feeding their child, responsibly taking their role as a parent seriously.



 
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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 09:39 AM   22
tearspawn
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There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with formula feeding to me. I watched my twin sister breast feed her first baby for six months and to be honest it made the first few months with her baby an unhappy slog in many ways. She never stopped feeling nauseus and it would have done her great deal of emotional good to be able to split the work of feeding more evenly between her and her husband. She is now pregnant again and trying to decide how long she will try to breast feed this time. In my opinion, she (and anyone else) should do whatever makes it possible to have the happiest initial few months with their baby as they can. From what she has told me, the health differences between bf and ff are there, but small, and I don't think that always outweighs the psychological health of the mom, whatever the reason is that bf puts a solid dark cloud above her head.



 
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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 12:24 PM   23
Pearls18
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Originally Posted by tearspawn View Post
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with formula feeding to me. I watched my twin sister breast feed her first baby for six months and to be honest it made the first few months with her baby an unhappy slog in many ways. She never stopped feeling nauseus and it would have done her great deal of emotional good to be able to split the work of feeding more evenly between her and her husband. She is now pregnant again and trying to decide how long she will try to breast feed this time. In my opinion, she (and anyone else) should do whatever makes it possible to have the happiest initial few months with their baby as they can. From what she has told me, the health differences between bf and ff are there, but small, and I don't think that always outweighs the psychological health of the mom, whatever the reason is that bf puts a solid dark cloud above her head.
I completely disagree, I believe the baby's health is a lot more important that the mother's happiness. I hated breastfeeding, it hurt, I was shattered, I hated how I felt LO only wanted me for milk, but it doesn't matter what I felt I set him up for life with my milk. I think people should properly study the benefits of breast milk over formula before throwing around comments like 'I was fine' 'makes no difference' 'no difference by the age if 5'. If people actually studied the differences people would realise this is a matter of health. I will do exactly the same for the next baby, I wont begrudge a few months discomfort for health benefits that will stay will my son FOR LIFE. I have to this because I am a mother. I hate the way people assume because I BF for 9 months it was easy for me, it wasn't but I persevered, I honestly think BF dramatically altered my psychological health in a bad way for a short term, but I will do it all again because it isn't about me, there is no choice, formula is not an option it is a fall back if things go wrong, that's what it should be anyway and I believe everyone would realise this if they actually looked at what BM does.

Good on your sister she's sounds an incredible mum. You need to study about BM, the differences are not small, in some cases the difference between the two is life or death- no exaggeration so please look at it first before going off what others say.



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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 14:20 PM   24
Mummy Bean
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Alas my poor child has no hope then ...best call SS as im obviously not an actual mother.



 
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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 14:38 PM   25
Pearls18
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Alas my poor child has no hope then ...best call SS as im obviously not an actual mother.
I am just sick to my back teeth of people belittling the decision, and remarks like this do just that.



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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 14:47 PM   26
luvmyfam
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Robinator, I totally agree. With both of my boys I gave everything to try and get milk in. With my second, since I knew it was an issue, I started pumping on day one. I literally never slept due to BF, supplementing with formula, then pumping, start over again! I even used a supplemental nursing system and funugreek, mothers milk tea ect. And I am a NICU nurse, so I just have it ingrained that breast is best. I had extreme guilt for not being able to provide breastmilk. It just makes me so mad when I hear women talking about how bad formula is, when I have no choice but to formula feed.

CMarie, we use donor breastmilk in the NICU and not only is it in short supply but it is very expensive. Its about $200 for 3 ounces! Its well worth it for micropreemies born at 24 weeks, but late preemies and term babies are fine on formula!



 
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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 14:52 PM   27
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MarineWag, while breastmilk is a good choice for your baby, you shouldn't get upset at ppl for being offended when you tell them that what they are feeding their precious baby could harm them and even kill them.



 
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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 14:57 PM   28
Pearls18
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The reason I talk about BF quite strongly, especially in this sub forum, isn't about guilt but trying to persuade and encourage women before thinking about it or while still doing it- if you've made the decision to switch to FF I don't care, that's not my business and if you feel guilty that's your issue I don't know what that feels like, but I will not sit back and listen to people constantly tell women it's near impossible to do, if as many women struggled 100 years ago as some people seem to today we would be extinct. Formula is not as good as breast milk, no where near as good, if it was frankly I wouldn't have breastfed. Every woman who tells someone not to worry what they 'choose' should think long and hard about what they are saying.



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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 14:57 PM   29
Amygdala
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Luvmyfam, I don't think anyone's talking about formula being bad. They're talking about CHOOSING to formula feed for convenience/personal choice being bad, because breast milk is better for the baby. It's a fact that breast milk is best. That doesn't make formula bad, it's a fine substitute. But if you had a choice, why wouldn't you choose what will give baby the most benefits? IF you have a choice. If you don't, then OBVIOUSLY formula is the way to go and there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeding your baby that way.



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Old Oct 29th, 2012, 15:02 PM   30
aimee-lou
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Originally Posted by MarineWAG View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by tearspawn View Post
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with formula feeding to me. I watched my twin sister breast feed her first baby for six months and to be honest it made the first few months with her baby an unhappy slog in many ways. She never stopped feeling nauseus and it would have done her great deal of emotional good to be able to split the work of feeding more evenly between her and her husband. She is now pregnant again and trying to decide how long she will try to breast feed this time. In my opinion, she (and anyone else) should do whatever makes it possible to have the happiest initial few months with their baby as they can. From what she has told me, the health differences between bf and ff are there, but small, and I don't think that always outweighs the psychological health of the mom, whatever the reason is that bf puts a solid dark cloud above her head.
I completely disagree, I believe the baby's health is a lot more important that the mother's happiness. I hated breastfeeding, it hurt, I was shattered, I hated how I felt LO only wanted me for milk, but it doesn't matter what I felt I set him up for life with my milk. I think people should properly study the benefits of breast milk over formula before throwing around comments like 'I was fine' 'makes no difference' 'no difference by the age if 5'. If people actually studied the differences people would realise this is a matter of health. I will do exactly the same for the next baby, I wont begrudge a few months discomfort for health benefits that will stay will my son FOR LIFE. I have to this because I am a mother. I hate the way people assume because I BF for 9 months it was easy for me, it wasn't but I persevered, I honestly think BF dramatically altered my psychological health in a bad way for a short term, but I will do it all again because it isn't about me, there is no choice, formula is not an option it is a fall back if things go wrong, that's what it should be anyway and I believe everyone would realise this if they actually looked at what BM does.

Good on your sister she's sounds an incredible mum. You need to study about BM, the differences are not small, in some cases the difference between the two is life or death- no exaggeration so please look at it first before going off what others say.
Totally respect your decision, but I think everyone has the right to decide based on their own factors. Personally a healthy mum is more able to look after her baby....and that's what I prioritised. I can totally see where you're coming from - as you say from a biological POV our job as a mother is to feed and nurture our children, but in my view this is what I have done by providing food for my children.

Hats off to your for persevering though - I know a lot of women who haven't been able to do it so it really is an achievement to be proud of.



 
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