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Old Nov 7th, 2012, 22:25 PM   1
youngone
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*honesty thread* what kind of mother do you think you will be??


If we put aside ideals and fairytales, what kind of mother do you think you will be? thinking about your character, tolerance, nature etc?

And, if you already have children:

What kind of mother did you think you were going to be versus the mother you became? in other words- how did it change?

For example, I would like to believe I will be very calm, flexible and non-hypocritical- BUT in reality I'm quite a perfectionist and can be very high-strung under pressure, especially without sleep. So realistically, I think I will be snappy from time to time, and maybe a bit emotional! but maybe we will adapt and change characters as necessary

I also think I will be act very silly and fun with a toddler- as I am with the toddlers at my work

I would love to be one of those hippie, chilled, calm mothers who are their kids best friends, that they turn to about deep issues/ tell their secrets to. But I know if I'm honest with myself- that is impossible! especially if there is more then 2 children

What about you??




 
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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 00:21 AM   2
AngieBelle
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I think I will be a mother who, for better or worse, values play time over chores- meaning I'm more likely to put off chores to play with the children than the other way around. I will be the mom who is on the floor being silly, getting right onto the playground equipment and into the pool rather than watching on the sidelines.

I'd like to think that I'll be good at letting my children become their own people and not forcing things on them- although I will certainly introduce them to all my favorites.

I think I may get overwhelmed at times and not always make the right choices. It make take trial and error for me to have the upper hand and not let my kids walk all over me.



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 03:51 AM   3
xLeeBeex
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I hope to be the opposite of my mum in some ways, she absolutely thought the world of me and did her best in her own way...

However, I know i'll be there for my child, I will teach them how to tie their shoe laces and how to tell the time. I will try and be patient, however sometimes i'm not very good at that. I will also try to discipline my child (however I'll probably be a push over and OH will be the discipliner) but I will do my best on that one.

I will also make sure there is a lot of laughter, I used to be really silly but since being with my OH for some reason I don't mess around as much, i'm hoping with a child that will all come back to me and I can lose my inhibitions and bring out my own inner child again haha.



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 06:15 AM   4
Pearls18
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I thought I would be a mother who would be made complete with a child, that I wouldn't need anything for myself and would dedicate my life to them because all I had ever wanted since a young age was be a mother, I thought being young wouldn't matter and I had done all I had wanted. In reality, I learned I was more selfish than I realised (if selfish isn't too strong a word) and soon realised I needed to have my own thing going on as well as being a mother, I realised I wanted to be a working mum. I also realised it was A LOT harder than I was expecting, and that not all aspects of mothering come as naturally to you as you would expect. I realise now I was a little too young. But, I knew beforehand I wanted to be a young mum, I knew I would be very parent led (although didn't have a label for it back then lol...) I knew I'd be strict and that I'd bring Elliot up to understand authority, I feel I am keeping up with these beliefs and stand by them. I also always swore I would breastfeed and make Elliot eat healthily, I did/do those things but I have to admit I am not as strict on food as I always swore I would be as it's a lot harder than I thought lol, but I try my best



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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 08:34 AM   5
zoomlentil
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I can only assume, I'm sure it will be so different once I have a child.

Patience is not one of my strong points - well, I'm patient in the sense that if something needs to be done and is time consuming or fiddly, I'll be able to immerse myself in it and get it done. However, I have little patience when it comes to others - I can't help but roll my eyes behind OH's back when I ask him to get the salt out of the pantry and he has to ask me where it is, when it's in the same place it always is and he lives in the same house as me!! So yes, I think kids will test my patience in the biggest way possible.

Although not 'old fashioned' (read: conservative), I think the simpler things in life are very important, as well as a kid just 'being a kid', so my kids will NOT be gifted iphones, iPads and laptops until they're into their teens. My 9 year old niece has a laptop and an iphone (iphone number 2, as she dropped the first one in a puddle surprise surprise), and has asked for an ipad for Christmas - it looks like she'll be getting it too. I am strictly opposed to buying kids this kind of stuff but as the aunt, I can only sit and watch. My children will be having toys, and toys only until they hit teenhood. If they want nice things, they'll be expected to save for them (with the occasional donation from me) to learn the value of money. I think this is really important.

My children will probably hate me.



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 11:54 AM   6
IDI
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What mother do I think I'd be like?.. hmmm well I think I'd be okay.. I had to help raise my younger brother since I was 5 till now. Because he is autistic.. I was the tool to calm him down/take his mind off my parents if he did something wrong (he would have massive tantrums and run out of the house). I still to this day keep a look out for him, I cook his meals sometimes.. give him curfews and do some parenting my mum can't do (she hates shouting/enforcing rules). Since my dad passed in Feb '11. I've tried to take my dad's role.. firm but always there for him.

My partner thinks I will be a great mother because he has seen how my and my brother interact. But I'm not to sure... I've been around special needs children alot and I love them dearly.. but normal children scare me! I'm like "hey wait... you can talk and have a conversation? HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" haha. I've only held a baby once in my life also... my nephew.. but that was 7 years ago!!!!



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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 13:11 PM   7
jj84
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Very neurotic. I'm very paranoid. I would be really worried something terrible was going to happen to them and therefore be over-protective.

I know I am also going to be very on to them regarding school work, be quite obsessed with them doing well, possibly put a bit too much pressure on them (I'm a teacher) and teach them lots at home.

Bit negative. Not sure about the positives!!



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 14:47 PM   8
Mummy Bean
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I am pretty chilled person, and normally dont care what others think of me, I also am a very independant person, i had to practically bring my self up - and really value knowing/doing things myself.

so now i have a baby, what sort of parent am I??... Im still pretty chilled, i dont find my self worrying about stuff until the situation arises. through out preg i didnt really read up on 'baby stuff' and thought i would go with the flow...which i did, until i found BNB and it completly freaked me out how much research others had done into stuff...where i just wanted to trust my motherly instinct...this then made me question my own judgement and start to tweak things i was doing - i kinda regret this as so far non of it helped...i know my child best and should have just stuck with what i thought. so i deff wanna learn from this as he grows older and we have to deal with issues such as disapline.
until I had a baby i didnt realised how much i valued my independance, i really struggled with the intensity of having a new born physically attached to me for so long, and could easily leave him with my OH when he was only a week old whilst i went to the shop for 'me time' and this has continued as he has grown...i still need to have a night to my self every now and then to calm my mind.

i think looking to the future i dont want any set ideas as if nothing else becoming a mother has taught me that nothing is how you expect it to be. I have no idea what my son will be like and until we find out i cannot set my heart on certain techniques that are doomed to fail.

like you OP my ideal is to be a chilled/hippi mum who know matter what my children can trust me. but i spose only time will tell.



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2012, 18:08 PM   9
staralfur
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When I first found out I was pregnant I said I would definitely not be breastfeeding. I've been breastfeeding for over seven months.

I said I'd have no problem letting my baby cry it out. I've never done it and never will.

I said cloth diapers were stupid and a hassle and assumed anyone who used them was just being a hippie. Now, I'm obsessed with them.

I said I would NEVER EVER co-sleep because it's irresponsible and dangerous. She hasn't spent a whole night in her crib yet.

I figured I would be all about routines. We have next to no routine and I'm more than comfortable just going with the flow.

So to sum up, as a parent I am pretty much the complete opposite of what I thought I'd be! But I am very happy that I've just gone with my gut and done what's felt right for us both.



 
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Old Nov 9th, 2012, 05:38 AM   10
angiepie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staralfur View Post
When I first found out I was pregnant I said I would definitely not be breastfeeding. I've been breastfeeding for over seven months.

I said I'd have no problem letting my baby cry it out. I've never done it and never will.

I said cloth diapers were stupid and a hassle and assumed anyone who used them was just being a hippie. Now, I'm obsessed with them.

I said I would NEVER EVER co-sleep because it's irresponsible and dangerous. She hasn't spent a whole night in her crib yet.

I figured I would be all about routines. We have next to no routine and I'm more than comfortable just going with the flow.

So to sum up, as a parent I am pretty much the complete opposite of what I thought I'd be! But I am very happy that I've just gone with my gut and done what's felt right for us both.
Nice one!! Always good to see a natural parenting convert!



 
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