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Old May 26th, 2009, 13:24 PM   1
stargirl69
 
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Husband not wanting baby yet- how do you cope?


Hey,

Just wondering how those of you who are wanting to ttc now, cope with husband not wanting to ttc yet.

I'm finding it really difficult even though we've brought out ttc date forward. I think it's because I'm 28 and the earliest I will be having a baby is 30, and we want 2 and I'm scared that it will take even longer. We then want another one after that (ideally waiting a few years between).

Do you just not talk about it? Do you argue? Do you happily compromise?

Really need some advice on this!



 
Old May 26th, 2009, 14:24 PM   2
lilmissmup
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I am trying not to mention it to my OH but have told him I am coming off the pill at the end of this year so unless he wants to risk it we need to use condoms.

I tend to get angry when we do talk as it just upsets me we aren't trying yet but a few hints here and there help whilst having a chat about families etc.

I am 25 in 6 weeks and think its an ideal age to have a baby, he is 30 now and thinks I am too young.

He might get put off more if its all you talk about but try mention the good points of having a child.

I honestly think men will never understand how we feel.



 
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Old May 26th, 2009, 14:36 PM   3
lozzy21
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Try making a list of things you want/need to do before you ttc, save some money, go on holiday ect.



 
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Old May 26th, 2009, 15:01 PM   4
stargirl69
 
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Thanks! Funnily enough Lozzy 21 that's just what I've done - just posted it in my journal!



 
Old May 27th, 2009, 01:40 AM   5
honeybee2
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hey hun- im back here from TTC because my OH thinks we dont have enough money and are not settled in our own lives yet- fair enough Im still in uni and hes just become a teacher, but my body clock has switched on and I cant help wanting one- I guess because Im not testing every 5 minutes, it keeps the pressure off, we do speak about it- we both want to be parents- but Im not crying everytime my period comes. Im so sure though that now we are not trying (because we are not always careful) that I will end up pregnant - its always the way. He says that women must not force men into Fatherhood but let nature take its course- easier said than done, its instinct to want to carry a child!!!



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Old May 27th, 2009, 05:42 AM   6
Amygdala
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We talk about it a lot really but then we're kind of agreed anyway. We both know that we need to wait a few years until I'm in a more secure job. Only that he's quite happy with this while I'm rather broody and want a bump nooooooow! So I'm constantly cooing over other people's kids and talking about names and things and about how lovely it'll be when we have our own. But he knows that my "reasonable" side is stronger deep down and I'm just talking about it to get it off my chest and not to pressure him.

Uh, that reminds me to dig up my name thread... *goesofflookingfornamethread*



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Old May 27th, 2009, 07:25 AM   7
bigbloomerz
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Before we agreed to NTNP/TTC in Sept, it was really hard, we have both always wanted a family, but finances, moving house and health factors had always got in the way, now we are in abetter situation to try its a lot easier.
Make a list of priorities and things you want to achieve before TTC and show this to your OH and see if he thinks anything could be added or put aside as not that important?
If you work things out together, rather than one person always saying "I want" , "We want" always works better Compromise as they say lol.
We find it really easy to talk and hardly ever argue, so that helps matters, OH is not argumentative at all, just goes along with things unless he really thinks it wouldnt work lol.
Good Luck hun xx



 
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Old May 27th, 2009, 08:44 AM   8
Catastrophe
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Can't add much that hasn't already been said but wanted to give you a

Sometimes I wish there was a fast-forward button and then I think how terrible that would probably end up being!



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Old Jan 6th, 2011, 11:02 AM   9
Twag
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I am in a similar position, we always agreed that once we got married we would start trying for a baby.

So we got married in Nov'10 and just before then I came off my pill as we both agreed and we decided to see what happens, but this his mother spoke to him about it and said we should wait until after I have finished my exams (I am studying ACCA whilst working and have 3 more exams which is another year), so now hubby has decided his mother is correct and that I would have no incentive to complete my exams if I was pregnant or have a baby, which i disagree with and I am not going back on the pill!

I am 30 he is 32, this year I will be 31! I am really worried that once we do start trying after my exams (last one December 2011) it will take a year to conceive and then I will be 33 before we have a child! This really worries me and is putting me under a lot of pressure to pass my exams when they are hard enough as it is!

I try talking to him to come around but nothing and it is making me very upset as I am so broody and our friends are having 2nd babies and my sisters

I just don't know what to do



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Old Jan 6th, 2011, 11:58 AM   10
odd_socks
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completely understand how ur feeling, me and my OH argue about it all the time, i really want to ttc now and worry about leaving it too much later and he keeps saying wait, wait wait



 
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