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Old Jul 25th, 2013, 10:04 AM   11
sausages
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Sigh, me! We always said we would have three living children, but after number two DH changed his mind. He doesn't want to push his luck, he doesn't want to be an "old dad" and he doesn't want to go through another pregnancy and sleepless baby stage.

At first I left him alone. I mentioned it last summer then left it til winter before I brought it up again and both times he said he didn't want another, but inbetween that he was making jokes about a third and commenting on nice names! Chuffing confusing for me to say the least!!

Anyway, it all came to a head about a month ago and now he finally realises how serious I am, but it still doesn't change the fact that he can't make himself want another and I respect that.

Now were stuck in an endless rock and a hard place. If we never have another I know I will resent that, but if he caves and we do then I know he will resent me pushing him into that every time were strapped for cash or having a stressful day or whatever.

He's such a good man, he's still considering it and we talk about it all the time. I just can't se how we can ever find a solution that spurts us both. There isn't one! I've even said that I KNOW that we should probably not have one, because its the easier of the two to allow for, but I've warned him that there's no way I'd have the will power to tell him no and take the high road if he ever said he'd let us try again. I want one so much!

I've spoken to friends about it and they say the broody gets easier as kids get older because it becomes harder to want to go back to the baby stage. I hope so!

I've also taken advice from doctors about my csection cause it would be a 5th for me and they said it would be fine.

I'm ready. Sooooo ready, and ready now. He is not at all. there's no end to this predicament.



 
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Old Jul 25th, 2013, 10:59 AM   12
Eleanor ace
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Massive Sausages, that sounds hard! It would mess with my mind if DH joked about a 3rd and mentioned names. I hope something changes to make 3 possible for you!



 
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Old Jul 25th, 2013, 12:08 PM   13
loeylo
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I am also dealing with a more reluctant boyfriend!
We are both only 24 so still young I guess, but given that we were 21 when we first fell pregnant (I miscarried) and we fell pregnant again at 23 - and miscarried again - I have really been waiting for over 2 and a half years.
After our first, the main thing holding us back was that I was still at uni. I have now graduated. After the second, the main thing holding us back was that we didn't live together, and now we have our flat. Now we are waiting as we realistically need to get on the property ladder (we are renting) and because I need to secure a permanent job (I am just starting off my career, and it is compulsory that you do one year on a temp contract before even applying for permanent positions, so it can't be helped!)

I feel that there is not too much point in persuading him right now as the reasons for us waiting makes sense, but it is like he wants a huge epiphany moment when he suddenly wants a baby, when he has no worries or fears, and it just isn't going to happen like that! Every time we achieve something, there is another goal to tick off, but he doesn't see it that way. He just views it as life, whereas for me, having a baby IS my life! Especially after miscarrying twice.



 
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Old Jul 25th, 2013, 14:19 PM   14
bluebell
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to everyone in this position.

I don't even know if I am WTT I am so unbelievably broody and have been for almost 2 years. Unfortunately I developed Fibromyalgia about a year ago and at the moment there is no way I can even think about getting pregnant

My DH understandably does not want another child, he is a fantastic dad and has been so supportive since I became ill, but I don't want to try and talk him around as I know I'd be being selfish. I'm on a cocktail of medication and am shattered and in a lot of pain everyday as it is, and I wouldn't want to put my husband or my lovely little boy through the stress of a pregnancy and a newborn baby, deep down I know my health isn't strong enough at the moment

I try and stay positive and hopeful that I'll be able to get more on top of my symptoms so I can reduce my medication and start to feel stronger. Once my little boy starts school in September maybe just maybe we will be in a position that we could begin to consider it but sometimes I just can't help but feel gutted about the situation. I am very blessed to have my wonderful son and I try to focus on the pleasure he brings me rather than the feeling of loss of control that I get about not being able to get pregnant at the moment.

Fingers crossed it will be the right time for us all one day soon

xx



 
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