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Old Oct 12th, 2009, 14:52 PM   21
Mum (Mom)
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Hey Hun *waves*

Mind if i share my thoughts??

I'm 19 (20 in Jan) We plan on TTC just after christmas (im 20, 9 days after christmas)

We both have full time jobs, just recently brought a 4 bed house together and engaged to be married.

We will both we 20 (hopefully) when our baby comes and we wouldnt change that. We have waited a while as im having test for PCOS and anything else that gives them an excuse to poke around up there!!

Im so glad we have waited only a little, little while as we have had time to plan, i have had time to see what my work offers as maternity (Its better than i expected!!).

Sometimes i get nervous about the whole thing, but thats life! We deal with these things and as soon as our dream happens - it goes. Im like an inpatient kid waiting for christmas!!! I have spoken to my doctor about the whole TTC situation - she fantastic about the whole thing - were not classed as teens(were grown ups!!) - we have a good head on our shoulders - we know whats right or wrong and most of all, we know what we want and thats all that matters.

Sorry its long!! ( i have a habit of chatting alot!!)


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Old Oct 12th, 2009, 15:53 PM   22
Mum (Mom)
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I don't have much else to add as everyone has already said it all but I am 23 and had my daughter at 22. I don't think that age really has anything to do with it. Maturity is the more important thing and you seem to be very settled in your life. You sound to me like you are more than ready to have a LO to care for. I wish you the best of luck as well!

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Old Oct 12th, 2009, 15:54 PM   23
Mum (Mom)
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If you think you're ready then you ARE!! Its totally up to you and how you feel about the whole thing.

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 03:07 AM   24
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Thankyou for everyones replies so far

Good to hear different opinions and will take everything everyone has said into my considerations!!!

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 03:55 AM   25
Mum (Mom)
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I think you sound very mature and like you've thought this through a lot. But you also sound like you have some doubts and to be honest, if I was in your situation I'd want to get some things sorted first. I'd want to finish my course (as that would be so much harder with a child around), wait for the house to materialise (because that'll be stressful anyway, even without being pregnant or having a small baby), maybe wait for that possible windfall at 21 so you've got a better idea of what your finances are like and then finally I'd want to get married. Obviously the latter is a personal choice. But if you're committed to each other and are planning a child then getting married makes a lot of sense in my eyes as it protects both of you and your little one, e.g. financially if anything should happen to either of you.
You're still so young so another year or two won't make a difference. So if you think that it'd be good to get these things (or others) sorted, then I'd wait for that first. You should also be aware that having a child can put you under extreme amounts of stress. With your history of depression/anxiety I think it would be wise to make it as easy for you as possible. I'm by no means saying that these issues will definitely come back but you should be aware that large amounts of stress can trigger them. So if you can get house stress out of the way first, or make your financial situation even more stable (so YOU don't have to worry about it) then I think I'd definitely do that first.
Good luck with whatever you decide though!

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 04:04 AM   26
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I wouldn't say your too young as long as you have thought it through. I had Caitlin when I was 20 and while it was very hard work it was sooooo worth it. I'm now 28 and expecting my second and I'm just as excited/nervous as I was the first time round! good luck x

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 04:42 AM   27
Mum (Mom)
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I'd recommend waiting. I've never wanted to go travelling or have a glitzy career, and I have always just wanted to be 'content' but that didn't mean I was ready to settle down and start a family at 20. What's the hurry? You've only been together just over a year.

I got pregnant at 26, unplanned, after being with OH barely 6 months. While I don't regret this obviously, we had precious little 'together' time, never been on holiday together, etc. I'm very lucky that things are working well for us as a family as to be honest, the odds of this were stacked against against us. I think parenthood is a huge challenge to a long term relationship let alone one a year long one.

BUT - there are lots of young mums on here that seem to be doing a fantastic job as mums and are very happy. I don't agree with waiting until you're 'financially secure' to have a baby because let's face it most people would be waiting forever for that. Plus I think there are lots of good things about being a young mum, more energy, better able to deal with little sleep, to name but a few.

So although I would certainly not have wanted to have a baby at 20/21, everyone's different I guess...

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 06:15 AM   28
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I really don't think age comes into it, it's more about maturity. I was married at 19 and lots of people thought that was too young, but we have been married over 7.5 years now and together a year more, so I kinda feel we showed them!! I actually wish we started ttc a bit earlier but it didn't seem right for us at the time, due to various circumstances - none of which were age related.

So, I would say if it feels right for you, then go for it and don't worry about what other people say x

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 06:21 AM   29
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i was 19 when DH and i started trying. You do whatever feels right to you. Reading your post takes me back to when we started trying The perfect time for baby making is different for everyone and there is always some reason to find to not do it (money, work, whatever). Listen to your heart, and it will steer you well

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Old Oct 13th, 2009, 09:26 AM   30
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I got pregnant at 22 and had my son just after I turned 23 and I think that was the right age for me. But I had been with my husband since I was 17 and had lived with him since I was 18, we had lots of time together and got married the month before my 22nd birthday. I don't think you are too young but I would say that it might be best to have some more time together before having a baby, just because once the baby has arrived you won't get as much time together as you did before, and it can cause a bit of a strain on the relationship. Now my son is 1 I get more time with my husband, but when he was younger we really didnt get as much time together as before xx

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