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Old Mar 5th, 2014, 18:04 PM   1
Waiting To Try (WTT)
New BnB member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 1

WTT Because husband doesn't think we are ready

So here's the scoop....I am so ready to TTC but my husband doesn't think we are ready.

That's really not enough for any type of advice but I had to put it point blank to start. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years, I was 18 and he was 25, too young to be making babies. Plus we didn't have careers, a house, any money, etc. We decided to wait, get things in order, and then we can start our little family on the best terms possible. So we got good jobs, bought a house, started building some savings. Then there was the issue of my weight, maybe not being healthy enough to have babies at the moment. Ok, so I lost 65-70 lbs. in 2011. Now I was feeling great and ready to go. Talked to my husband and he was still a little unsure. He was still in school so I figured ok we'll wait some more. In the mean time, I changed jobs so I could be closer to home so when we do have kids I'm not an hour and a half from their school.

Finally things seem perfect to me but my husband doesn't think so. I'm now 27 and he's 34 and I'm becoming impatient. I know he wants to have kids too, I don't question that at all. From our talks it seems to be purely financial/economic worries(what if one of us loses our job, can we afford everything they will need). I have been stressing myself out the past couple months trying to understand what else there is that needs to be done. Then worrying that what if, when we do decide, we have problems TTC. Then I'll be older and it will be even harder to overcome any fertility issues that may come up. I feel stuck and quite frankly have been an emotional wreck. I don't know what to do. How do I get my husband to see that we don't have to wait anymore, that we will be ok? It makes me so sad to think of what we can create but haven't. It's like a little missing piece of our lives.

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Old Mar 5th, 2014, 21:21 PM   2
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 400
There really is no "right" time financially to have a family. No matter how much money you have saved and how perfect you want things to be, it never will be. You will always worry about the "what ifs". I know my hubby and I were so worried before we started trying the first time. Eventually we just decided to go for it...we were ready for our family to grow and we knew everything would work out. And it did...we now have a 15 month old daughter that is the light of our lives.

Now we are having the same worries as we think about trying for baby #2. I guess my best advice is that no amount of planning, saving, or worrying is going to make you feel ready for a baby...when the time is right you'll know

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