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Old Apr 8th, 2018, 11:39 AM   551
lesondemavie
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Kiki - That must be so tough! Totally get why you havenít come on. Most things in marriage you can work out with communication and compromise, but thereís no compromise in that situation. I suppose the only possible compromise would be consideration: to know that your partner genuinely listened and considered the decision carefully. Please know that Iíve seen other women go through this, and after grieving the loss of the dream they had in their hearts, they found their way back from resentment to happiness with the family they also have in their arms and home. Hoping you can still pursue your dreams, and sending hugs and support as you navigate this uncertainty

Still not able to try here . I am no longer pumping during the work day, and DD is tolerating the 1 oz of formula weíre mixing with the ebm I have saved up. Sheís still bfing every 2-3 hours from 6 pm to 9 am and all day on the weekends or if sheís home sick with me. Itís frustrating, but Iím still loving the bond with DD. She had her first ear infection this past week all while cutting her first tooth. It killed me to see her in so much pain. Iím very thankful that I could still let her bf for comfort even if it means no AF for me.

Maybe this next month of zero pumping will do the trick? Setting my eyes on May. Iíd really like my children to be about 2 years apart (no more than 2 grades apart). I know it seems like I have plenty of time for that to happen still, but the cushion I had to work out any issues is gone. Doesnít help that Iím turning 36 this week 😅



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2018, 07:59 AM   552
Babybump87
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Sorry to read your post KiKi . I hope you manage to stay positive and enjoy all that you have in your life so far ! Itís so hard when your not on the same page when it comes to children. Sending you losts of love .



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2018, 10:47 AM   553
Alligator
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Sorry to read your update Kiki...it's so hard, but, give your DH time. Men just take longer (don't they always?) to get their emotions in check and figure out what they want. I'm sure you'll figure some things out and get on the same page, give him some time I know it's tough.



 
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Old Apr 18th, 2018, 16:27 PM   554
AngelOb
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I'm sorry to hear that Kiki! It's hard when you are not on the same page as your SO. The only thing I can say is that you have two beautiful babies and that's a blessing with or without baby #3. It won't hurt to give it a few months until you are ready to try again and just have another talk about it. Maybe his feelings will change and maybe they won't but that communication is key.



 
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Old May 1st, 2018, 19:24 PM   555
KalonKiki
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It's your month May TTC/NTNPers! Best of luck and lots of babydust to you, please remember to keep us updated on your journeys.

*May 2018*

AliJo - Baby #3, NTNP and hoping/maybe swaying for

Penguin20 - Baby #2

BellaRosa8302 - Baby #3

xMissxZoiex - Baby #2 (Baby #5 after 3 premature birth losses)

ja14 - Baby #2

Lavochain - Baby #2

Babybump87 - Baby #3, hoping for

SarahLou372 - NTNP Baby #2

LadyVictoria - Baby #1

Jasy - Baby #2

Stacip - Baby #2

Demotivated - Baby #2

lesondemavie - Baby #2

ssarahh - Baby #2, going team

Bumblebee24 - Baby #2, NTNP and going team

blauren - Baby #1

Sophie1205 - Baby #2

JennP - Baby #1

BrittneyAnne - Baby #1

aidensxmomma (Terah) - Baby #5 (Baby #2 with OH)

sarah34 - Baby #2

AnjaaniPari - Baby #1 w/ PCOS, taking Clomid



 
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Old May 1st, 2018, 20:54 PM   556
kksy9b
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Oh Keely, I just read your last update and Im so sorry hun. Believe me I know what you are feeling because Im walking the same path.

Ben has said since Calvin was born that he was done with having babies. It's never changed or waivered but Im still holding out hope. I know he would be perfectly happy to go get a vasectomy tomorrow but he also understands and is empathetic towards me. for awhile he would throw it around in casual conversation about no more babies, getting the snip etc. Then I told him how much that hurts and just brings everything flooding back and feels like I'm grieving so he stopped doing that thankfully. It comes in waves now. Ive not been thinking about it for the last month or so. And then the last couple days Ive felt off and super emotional etc. My first thought snapped to pregnancy...of course AF reared her face today, which honestly is fine because its not the right time. But now I cant stop thinking about it and wanting it. Sigh. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.

There is literally nothing about this that is easy. The best advice I can offer is not to bottle your emotions up. You need to feel them and Colin needs to see you in that so he can be whatever support he can be in it. Les gave some really great advice and no matter what happens down the road, you CAN be happy with him and your babies and the grief will dull in time.

Of course, there is always the possibility he will change his mind! I remember him being unsure on timing when you went to try with Thea but when it came down to it he said yes to the month you were hoping for!

On Valentines Day Ben, VERY out of the blue, said he would be open to pursuing adoption (a topic we had been discussing for a long time). This was someone who was a steadfast "no" but he said after seeing what a third meant to me softened his heart. There are some other things in going that route that might not make it plausible for us, but we are trying to figure it all out.

And in the meantime Im still testing the waters every now and again on a baby.I was fully on board adoption until after a meeting with my doctor. After some complications in the last pregnancy, I had a lot of concerns but she outlined a new care plan that would address all of the previous issues so now Im back to desiring another biological....it's all so confusing! And after a year of discussions, he doesnt immediately say no so I call it tiny progress. We are still 18 mo-2 yrs from a possible ttc date so there is time to keep working it lol

You can always reach out on FB or text if you need to vent or chat. I get it completely and am here for you



 
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Old May 2nd, 2018, 19:14 PM   557
KalonKiki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kksy9b View Post
Oh Keely, I just read your last update and Im so sorry hun. Believe me I know what you are feeling because Im walking the same path.

Ben has said since Calvin was born that he was done with having babies. It's never changed or waivered but Im still holding out hope. I know he would be perfectly happy to go get a vasectomy tomorrow but he also understands and is empathetic towards me. for awhile he would throw it around in casual conversation about no more babies, getting the snip etc. Then I told him how much that hurts and just brings everything flooding back and feels like I'm grieving so he stopped doing that thankfully. It comes in waves now. Ive not been thinking about it for the last month or so. And then the last couple days Ive felt off and super emotional etc. My first thought snapped to pregnancy...of course AF reared her face today, which honestly is fine because its not the right time. But now I cant stop thinking about it and wanting it. Sigh. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.

There is literally nothing about this that is easy. The best advice I can offer is not to bottle your emotions up. You need to feel them and Colin needs to see you in that so he can be whatever support he can be in it. Les gave some really great advice and no matter what happens down the road, you CAN be happy with him and your babies and the grief will dull in time.

Of course, there is always the possibility he will change his mind! I remember him being unsure on timing when you went to try with Thea but when it came down to it he said yes to the month you were hoping for!

On Valentines Day Ben, VERY out of the blue, said he would be open to pursuing adoption (a topic we had been discussing for a long time). This was someone who was a steadfast "no" but he said after seeing what a third meant to me softened his heart. There are some other things in going that route that might not make it plausible for us, but we are trying to figure it all out.

And in the meantime Im still testing the waters every now and again on a baby.I was fully on board adoption until after a meeting with my doctor. After some complications in the last pregnancy, I had a lot of concerns but she outlined a new care plan that would address all of the previous issues so now Im back to desiring another biological....it's all so confusing! And after a year of discussions, he doesnt immediately say no so I call it tiny progress. We are still 18 mo-2 yrs from a possible ttc date so there is time to keep working it lol

You can always reach out on FB or text if you need to vent or chat. I get it completely and am here for you
Thank you hun, I really appreciate it.
I'm sorry that you've been going through the same thing. I'm also here if you ever need to chat. I was actually thinking about texting you the weekend before last when I was up in the KC area but I was so busy with wedding party stuff (I came up to be a groomswoman in my best friend's wedding) that there would have been no time for us to meet up even if you had been able to. I'm planning to go up again this summer though so I'll let you know when we have an actual date to go up decided.
I told him I can't deal with the uncertainty anymore, it's eating away at me far too much and has really been triggering my major depressive disorder really badly. I told him we don't have to start trying in the Fall but I at least need to know if a 3rd is happening or not when Fall hits because I need to be able to either get excited about another baby or grieve the end of the baby stage and move on with my life and I haven't been able to do either for the last year and a half because he's been so "undecided".



 
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Old May 3rd, 2018, 14:22 PM   558
AliJo
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Yay finally reached my official TTC month! Although, we have tried a couple of months and had another month of NTNP and still nothing. DS2 is still nursing some and it's messing with my cycles a little. Ah well..

Definitely going to try to sway and we are full on TTC starting this month. I'm so use to just getting pregnant right away that his is odd to me.



 
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Old May 3rd, 2018, 16:43 PM   559
KalonKiki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AliJo View Post
Yay finally reached my official TTC month! Although, we have tried a couple of months and had another month of NTNP and still nothing. DS2 is still nursing some and it's messing with my cycles a little. Ah well..

Definitely going to try to sway and we are full on TTC starting this month. I'm so use to just getting pregnant right away that his is odd to me.
I totally understand. My DD has been weaned for about 5 months now I think and my cycles are still a little irregular. I'm worried that if by some miracle we did start TTC this Fall like I wanted to that it would take us forever to get pregnant despite the fact that it's never taken any real effort for us to get pregnant in the past. DS was conceived from one night of not being as careful as we should have been and DD was conceived our first cycle TTC her. I'm beginning to wonder if it's my weight that's affecting my cycles now. I weigh about 15-20 lbs more now than what I'm used to weighing.
The good news is that lower fertility sways so if your fertility has been reduced from nursing or anything else it's upped your chances of conceiving a girl.



 
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Old May 4th, 2018, 11:10 AM   560
kksy9b
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Keely- thank you hun, I really appreciate the support. None of this process is easy and I find it best to take it one day at a time. I've been having some conversations with Ben in the last two days. He is no where near on board, but a few of the things he has said make me more hopeful that in time he will be! We've been trying to kickstart our health journey again. I've lost 10 pounds so far but hit a wall and have decided to use another baby as my motivation (maybe not the best thing to use but if it works then I'll take it!). If I can reach my goals, it doesn't really mean anything on the TTC front but if I dont hit them then I can't put my body through another pregnancy (given how hard it was last time). Its been nice to have something to focus on again and has really helped me mentally. Maybe finding something that is just for you- whether focusing on health or picking up a new hobby or something- would help to keep the depressive disorder from triggering? I pray that you are able to find the answers you need soon When Charles weaned it took my body 7 months to regulate ovulation and lengthen my LP. I was on Vitex and a B12 (?) vitamin regiment. It took longer than usual for the Vitex to build up and work but eventually regulated (my first regular cycle was the cycle i got pregnant haha). If it's still irregular after a few more months it might be worth a trip to talk to your doctor about it. and definitely let me know when you all are up in KC!! I would love love love to get together with you and your littles!!

Ali- aahhhh! I'm so excited for you hun! Crossing all my fingers and toes that it happens quickly again for you now that you are full on trying. I haven't been over in the other thread in a long time...how have you been doing?



 
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