haha i'd never deceive him, i actually got brownie points the other day for pointing out that the condoms we own are out of date and should probably go in the bin. So yeah i'm stupidly practical and would never do anything to go behind my husbands back in that sense. It is however just extremely frustrating. He asked me the other day to look into getting a referral for genetic counselling, which I did but when the GP said they had an appointment that day he freaked out and went ahh maybe we'll go see the GP in a few months....
My partner had very similar reactions to every big step in our relationship, like I knew I wanted to marry him a year before he came around to the idea of getting engaged. Part of what I love about him is that he is very cautious, but it is also what makes him resistant to change. I'm much more decisive and confident in being ready to be a mom. However, I want to wait until he is sure he won't resent me when he can't go out on his own or regret having a bunch of new home responsibilities early on in his career. While we are waiting, I focus on trying to be extra supportive of him doing all the stuff that will be put on hold by a baby, so that when the day comes he won't miss them as much.
Hi there! Your situation sounds very similar to ours.. We have been together since I was 17- him 19 & are now 25 and 27 and we got married in June 2014. I sort of started feeling the same way around the same time frame (24) because of things we checked off of our "to-do" list. We got married, have two dogs, house, cars, stable full time jobs, etc. however every time I would bring up kids he wouldn't want to have much of a conversation and would change the subject. There was also never a real reason as to why, just that he wasn't ready! He has always been the typical "I'm not even thinking about kids until I'm 30" type of guy.
It was so frustrating and had started to become a really touchy subject, especially with close friends and family getting pregnant.
I know it's not much of a help, but eventually I had to suck it up and change my way of thinking to realize that having kids is a two way street. We sat down and finally had a conversation where he was able to admit the same thing- that there should be some compromise. I didn't want to be a nagging wife and have him resent me, and I didn't think it was fair to say he had to be 30 with no discussion before then. From there on out, I didn't bring it up or talk about it unless he brought it up first.
A couple months ago after his brother and sister-in-law announced their pregnancy (via IVF) he admitted that he wouldn't mind starting this summer while we are on vacation..which has increasingly been a topic of conversation now almost every week!
I know it seems like a big deal now, but I couldn't be more happy that I gave him that time to figure out on his own when he was ready. It was almost like that took the pressure off and he could think about it over time without me breathing down his neck.
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