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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 04:59 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
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How to tell WTT/Very broody Friend that Iím pregnant

I hope I donít offend anyone by jumping on your board and asking this question, but I thought someone might be able to empathize with what my friend might be feeling and so any suggestions would be very helpful.

One of my best friends has been wanting to start TTC for at least a couple of years now. She doesnít talk about it much but several friends of ours have had babies in that time and sheís mentioned a couple of times that sheís broody and really wants a baby too but her partner is still not ready yet.
I donít know how badly itís affecting her, sheís a lovely person and doesnít seem resentful at all but it must be hard for her.
We were TTC our second child for 18 months and it was really hard, I found it hard to be around pregnant people or people with babies, it seemed like everyone around me was announcing pregnancies and I just wanted to shut myself away and feel sorry for myself.
Sheís a much better/stronger/positive person that me and has never avoided contact with my children and it doesnít seem to be getting her down but I wouldnít be surprised if she just hid it well.

Sorry for my ramble but my question is, Iím pregnant with my third and wondering what the best way to break the news to her is?
Personally I think face to face could be a bit too much Ė no place to run and hide if it did upset her. But would a text or email be.. I dunno, impersonal?
I really donít want to depress her by adding to the endless number or people that are having babies if sheís reached the point where thinking of TTC is really consuming, but I need to tell her soonish, as her finding out by noticing a bump would surely be a crappy way to find out?

Thanks in advance for any opinions.

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Old Feb 1st, 2017, 08:02 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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I would just tell her in whatever way you're comfortable. I don't think you have to overthink it. I understand you are trying to be sensitive to her and that's really thoughtful of you (and I think you can say this when you tell her and let her know that you understand it might be hard to hear because you know how much she would like to TTC herself right now). But at the same time, I don't think you should feel bad because good things are happening for you and you want to share them with her. I'm sure you've been in situations when you were waiting or TTC, like you said it took you awhile to conceive before, so you understand, but also you were probably very happy for friends who were pregnant after the initial shock wore off. I would assume the same for her. We've TTC twice now and both times friends have told me they were pregnant during those times and it was fine. There are always some pangs of wishing it was you, but that's a normal, healthy feeling and not something to try to avoid. It would be pretty selfish to be unhappy for someone else just because you're caught up in your own situation. So I would just be honest with her and tell her however you would otherwise. She'll probably actually appreciate you being normal rather than weird about it all.

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Old Feb 2nd, 2017, 11:24 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
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I went through something similar. I had been with my dh for 12 years before ttc and once we started it took 10 months. A couple months in someone told me they were expecting but not to my face and it was in general not a great experience. Then I got pregnant and a couple days later a family member wanted info on my cycle health and they told me they were suffering from infertility. At the time I wasn't planning to announce til after 12 weeks but didn't want to surprise them a month or two later when I knew she struggled so I just blurted. I don't know what the answer is but when you know them well you can effectively see where they are. If they aren't commenting it's hard to hear give the benefit of the doubt and tell her but make sure she knows you are open to listening to her struggles and you get it.

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Old Feb 3rd, 2017, 05:11 AM   4
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Thanks for sharing. Interesting discussion.

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Old Feb 4th, 2017, 10:31 AM   5
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I would want to be told via email. And I would appreciate it if my friend said that she was telling me because she cares about me, so I get to know before most people... or something to make me feel a little special.

Don't worry too much about it, though. If she doesn't seem overly sensitive, she may not be.

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