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Old Mar 5th, 2017, 16:02 PM   11
LynAnne
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Eleanor ace - that is my ideal age gap for between 1&2 AND 2&3. I'm under no illusion that it is hard work but it also seems really wonderful!



 
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Old Mar 12th, 2017, 15:43 PM   12
cupcake.
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I'm not really wtt already but we do want more, ideally 3 children.

But we are planning for a somewhat bigger age gap between our first little baby girl and a second. It'll probably be at least 2 1/2 years before we start trying so we'd have at least 3 years between them, probably more though.
There's lots of reasons, we're getting married next year, OH has a few career milestones he wants to hit, i don't want to go back to work and leave soon for a second maternity leave. We want to move before having another, maybe even buy a house. We wouldn't have room for two little ones here. Also, our first isn't exactly the easiest baby so just in case the next one will be as well it will probably be a lot easier when our first isn't as little anymore. I am actually quite excited for another one and so excited for when the time comes but i'm really content with our decision on having a bigger age gap.

That being said, for number 2 and 3 i think i'd like to experience a smaller age gap.

I'm not concerned about siblings not getting along when the age gap is bigger. I know siblings with like 9 year gaps who get along great and the two sets of twins i know don't really get along. So i don't think the age gap really affects how siblings get along and i'm sure that even if it ends up being lile a 5 year gap, they will be getting along



 
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Old Mar 13th, 2017, 10:17 AM   13
aidensxmomma
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There's a 16 month age gap between DS1 and DD1 and then an 8 year gap between DS1 & DS2/7 year gap between DD1 & DS2. Both age gaps have their pros and cons although I honestly prefer the gap between DS1 and DD1.

Going from having older kids and then back to a baby has been kind of tough - it's like being a first time parent all over again. Plus, the big kids have a schedule that is much less flexible now that they're older. They have to be up and ready for school in the morning, they have after school activities, they have to be in bed at a certain time, get homework done, etc. I feel like if they were younger, our schedule could be much more flexible than it currently is. DS2 is really high needs as well, so it's a challenge to keep the big kids on their schedule and keep DS2 happy.

There are advantages, though. When I was pregnant, I was really sick the whole time and the big kids were able to entertain themselves or even watch a movie or something so I could nap when I really needed to. And now that the baby is born, they do a great job helping entertain him and helping with him.

My older two are really close, although they fight quite a bit. I think that is more because of their personalities than their age gap, though. It's also great because their interests and abilities are similar. But DS2 absolutely adores his siblings already (and the big kids adore him) so I don't see any issues with their relationships down the line.

All that being said, DH and I are planning for a small age gap between DS2 and our next baby. I definitely prefer the small age gap and I've been a stay at home mom since I had my oldest, so there's not much that will change in terms of finances or child care. That would be a big factor if I was working.

It's definitely an individual decision. While I love the small age gaps, my brother and SIL aren't even considering any more kids until their son is older and possibly in school. What works for me doesn't work for them and vice versa.



 
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