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Old Jul 15th, 2017, 05:46 AM   1
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Nervous about TTC#2 with 6+ year age gap!

I've been thinking on and off now about TTC for nearly a year now. We held off until after April this year as we were going on holiday to America & didn't want to be pregnant then.
When I had my daughter 6 years ago I had a really long labour ending with a csection. I found it really hard to deal with & really scared me about having another. When she was 2 my husband got made redundant from his job so with no job security wasn't the right time to think about another anyway & only last year he found permanent work & I also starting to feel really broody for the first time since having my daughter, so I was so excited about trying this year but now I'm back to just feeling scared again of giving birth etc & I worry about the age gap. My mums really put me off too about the age gap.
We did have a bit of a slip up the end of May the day before I was due to ovulate & when my period arrived two days late I was disappointed I wasn't pregnant & when I find out friends are pregnant I feel a bit jealous like I wish I was if I wasn't so scared to try.

Agh sorry for the essay it's just driving me mad at the moment it's all I can think about. Wondering if anyone else had the same dilemma?

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Old Jul 24th, 2017, 08:49 AM   2
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I'm sorry for all the ups and downs you've been through. But I look at it this way you will have plenty of help with the lil one

My DD will be 7 or 8 years older and we all still want to have a lil one. I wanted her a playmate so bad but she is just as happy getting to be the 'Boss'

I hope it happens soon for you and that your fears are washed away.

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Old Jul 24th, 2017, 15:00 PM   3
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I think that will be quite a nice age gap! My little boy will be 9 when OH and I start trying so we're going to have at least a ten year age gap!! Scary thought haha xx

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Old Jul 25th, 2017, 13:22 PM   4
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Like previous person posted i think 6 year gap is an ok gap, i would of loved a 5 year age gap originally but i ended up with a 9 year gap between DD1 and DD2 and really think it was too big of a gap for our eldest.
Also i know of your worries of the birth of your 1st putting you off wanting another as this is the reason why there is such a big gap between my first 2, i had a traumatic birth and also ended up having puerpal psychosis.
I wish you luck with what ever you decide for your family but just remember that no 2 births are the same

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Old Jul 25th, 2017, 15:26 PM   5
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We're in a similar situation and I have the same worries as you. We've put off having a second due to saving for a mortgage etc and then I decided to go back to studying so put it off for another few years. We're now looking at minimum 7 years age gap (I would have preferred about 4).

I'm trying to focus on the positives of having an older one...
-she can 'help' with the baby and therefore 'hopefully' not feel pushed out but more included.
-I will get one to one time with no 2 as I did with no 1 considering she's at school.
-We will only have 1 in nappies/ on bottles (or breastfeeding) and only 1 getting up through the night.
Hopefully that gives you some reassurance, you're not the only one

Old Jul 26th, 2017, 21:40 PM   6
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I have a 7.5 yr age gap between my 2 girls, not by choice. Let me tell you I could not be happier. Yes, I would've loved them to be closer in age but they still have a great bond. My lo looks up to her big sister and my oldest is very protective and motherly towards her. When I need to cook or complete a quick task, my dd1 is very helpful with keeping an eye on her. When dd1 goes to school, I can bond with the baby. When baby naps, I have bonding time with my oldest. Watching them interact is heart warming. Don't listen to what others have to say, it's your family not theirs. A large age gap has been really great for our family.

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