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Old Sep 7th, 2017, 21:34 PM   1
mrsTinthehous
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He doesn't want kids!


Anyone else in my boat- hubby doesn't want kids? At all? Was anyone else in my situation before they got pregnant, and then DH came around? Just curious



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Old Sep 8th, 2017, 14:21 PM   2
Diane77
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Nope



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Old Sep 8th, 2017, 17:40 PM   3
Onions
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Yes, my DH didn't want any kids when we met but as we grew together he changed his mind



 
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Old Sep 10th, 2017, 16:46 PM   4
mrsTinthehous
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Onions View Post
Yes, my DH didn't want any kids when we met but as we grew together he changed his mind
Thanks Onions. I'm glad I'm not the only one! The other day my DH made a comment about how loud one of our neighbors' kids were, and I told him, "it makes me sad when you talk about how much you hate kids." He got really quiet, came up and hugged me, and said, "I actually don't really hate kids."


So... he's still not ready to talk about TTC for the future but I'm going to have hope that he'll come around since he's my DH. We've probably got at least until 2020 unless it accidentally miraculously happens before that though... lol... Hard to believe I'll be 30 then!



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Old Sep 10th, 2017, 22:19 PM   5
WackyMumof2
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I'd still sit down and talk about when you can start talking about TTC seriously. If he decides he DOESN'T want kids in a reasonable time frame then you both need different things in your relationship. No matter how much you love him, DON'T sacrifice him for what you need and want in life. I know it hasn't come to that but I'm speaking from experience. My ex didn't want kids and it was one of the contributing factors that tore us apart. Hopefully he does change his mind and want at least 1.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 09:19 AM   6
awnmyown
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Not sure how old you both are, but I think age plays a huge factor sometimes. And what people say and what people feel aren't always the same. I complain a fair bit about children, but always wanted them. Just not at that point in my life. Certainly if my partner seemed ready and I didn't, I would make it very clear I didn't want them (at least right then). Once I passed 30, something just changed for me. I think willingness to let you know that he doesn't hate kids is a good sign. People change and grow a lot as they age, and who knows what your future holds. I've had many a friend have their partner change their minds later in life. Some even as late as 40.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 16:28 PM   7
mrsTinthehous
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Thanks WackyMum and awnmyown. I'm 27 and he's 33. I didn't really care to think about having kids until recently, but after having a false pregnancy scare last month it hit me just how much I'd like to start trying in a couple of years. DH continually says to me "I don't want kids" and "we're not having kids ever," but he also is in school too for a certification and wants to travel more so I'm still hoping he'll come around. Interestingly, when others ask us about having kids, he'll shyly say "I haven't really thought about it." Others keep assuring, "oh, you will- just give it some time." DH chuckles when this happens.
I couldn't imagine leaving DH. If he doesn't want kids ever, then one of two things will happen: 1) we will accidentally have kids if it was meant to be, or 2) we will foster. Interestingly enough, he has talked about being okay with fostering later on down the road (he sees it as a way of helping struggling kids.) I could see that turning into adoption.


I'm still hopeful. Still doesn't change the fact that my ovaries have decided to start screaming, but I'm hopeful.



 
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Old Sep 12th, 2017, 07:35 AM   8
alenamiy
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just try to talk to him



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Old Sep 16th, 2017, 17:55 PM   9
KalonKiki
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No, in my relationships I have always been very upfront about how important having kids was to me and it was an absolute deal breaker for me if someone I was dating didn't want kids. My DH and I both agreed from the beginning of our relationship that we'd have at least 2 but no more than 4. We're having some disagreement about #3 as I very much want at least one more baby but he's not comfortable with the idea right now. I'm really hoping he'll come around sometime in the next couple of years.



 
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Old Nov 2nd, 2017, 14:04 PM   10
Babybum35
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My dh was the same. We met when I was 18 and he was 21 and married at 25 and 28. At the time I was really ready for kids but dh wasn't even close to ready. He was adamant about it then when I was 27 we started talking about how I was getting closer to 30 and we both wanted at least 2 kids and to be done by 35. We started TTC when I was 29 turning 30 and dd was born 10 days after I turned 31. We are currently ntnp #2 and hoping to be at least preggers by this time next year.
I will say it made the process easier as we were both prepared for pregnancy and babies and I had some uncommon complications but even then you can't gaurentee how long it will take and timing sex can be hard on a marriage. The one thing I will say is as much as you might want this getting pregnant on purpose by accident could make things really hard for you. I would honestly speak with him and tell him you want kids and when



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