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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 11:32 AM   1
miss_giggles
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Everyone is pregnant!


Hi everyone!
I have lurked on this forum for years, but I thought it was time to introduce myself. My fiance and I are 26 and we have been together for 4 and half years.
When we first started dating we had set a date of trying when we 25, but we had to push it back due to finances.
Our wedding is next May and we are talking of trying right after, but in the last 3 month's 2 of my closest friends have announced that they are pregnant, leaving my the only one in my friend and family group not a parent or pregnant. Which has hit me extremely hard, especially as our original time line we would have already had a baby.
I have always wanted children from the time I was still a child. If someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up when I was a kid it was a mother.
I have nannied and babysat for years. Everyone tells me I should be a mother, but I feel that everyone is getting a chance but me. I know that there is not a shortage of babies and I will get my turn, but right now it hurts.
It doesn't help that this year I lost my grandma as well. And also 2 people who got engaged after we did are getting married before us.

This just turned into a giant rant, I'm sorry. I am excited to be part of this community!



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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 12:00 PM   2
reeve
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Aww love I understand the frustration, but try not to wish the time away and enjoy the journey.. it'll all come and you'll enjoy more if you don't have the pressures of finances and what not.. you both made the choices to wait based on solid information for you guys. Try not to worry what others are doing.. it'll soon be your turn and you'll have a tonne of information from your gal pals who've already given birth, wise ladies so to speak.

Xx



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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 12:13 PM   3
Alligator
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I feel you, girl. DH and I have been together for 11 years, but just got married in May (best month to get married in!!!). First, it was people together for less time than we were getting married. Then, those people having babies, when I felt ready YEARS ago. It's so unfair. Since my MC, I can't go a day without seeing a pregnant person or a newborn or a pregnancy announcement and feeling such jealousy (it shames me, how jealous I feel). It's so unfair. Hugs.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 12:41 PM   4
miss_giggles
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alligator View Post
I feel you, girl. DH and I have been together for 11 years, but just got married in May (best month to get married in!!!). First, it was people together for less time than we were getting married. Then, those people having babies, when I felt ready YEARS ago. It's so unfair. Since my MC, I can't go a day without seeing a pregnant person or a newborn or a pregnancy announcement and feeling such jealousy (it shames me, how jealous I feel). It's so unfair. Hugs.
Oh I am so sorry for your miscarriage.
Yes I feel like I was ready years ago! And I was handling our set backs and changes really well up until this week.
This was just a hard week for me. I think it was because it was my birthday where I just turned 26 and I found out about my friends pregnancy within 2 days. My friend and I have always been very simliar and I think that has hit me the hardest is the jealousy that she is getting what I am waiting for.



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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 12:59 PM   5
Alligator
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I'm sorry you're struggling. It's totally fair to feel jealous and like it just isn't working out how you want it to. I turned 31 at the end of last month and had such a hard time celebrating. We lost our baby in August (technically, July, but the MC wasn't complete until August) and I was ready for that month to be over. I should have been celebrating my birthday and pregnancy...it just didn't seem like I had that much to celebrate. I hope you had a good birthday otherwise, I am sure there is much in your life worth celebrating (I tried to focus on that!). So many people told me 'it will happen when it's supposed to' and I hated hearing that, so I won't tell you that. Just take it one day at a time. Sending you hugs.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 13:05 PM   6
miss_giggles
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alligator View Post
I'm sorry you're struggling. It's totally fair to feel jealous and like it just isn't working out how you want it to. I turned 31 at the end of last month and had such a hard time celebrating. We lost our baby in August (technically, July, but the MC wasn't complete until August) and I was ready for that month to be over. I should have been celebrating my birthday and pregnancy...it just didn't seem like I had that much to celebrate. I hope you had a good birthday otherwise, I am sure there is much in your life worth celebrating (I tried to focus on that!). So many people told me 'it will happen when it's supposed to' and I hated hearing that, so I won't tell you that. Just take it one day at a time. Sending you hugs.
I saw in another thread that you might brme pregnant. Congrat!! I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
That was the other hard thing, my friend that is pregnant also got married this weekend, so her bachelorette party was last weekend and her wedding was this weekend so my birthday was ignored in favor of her wedding stuff and pregnancy announcement. As I am typing this stuff I realize why I am having such a hard time with the timing of this news.



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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 14:01 PM   7
Alligator
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That's definitely a lot to go through, feeling like all these things you want aren't happening for you, and the focus is all on someone else! Hugs. Sometimes it's good to just talk about it, that's why you have us!

Unfortunately that was either residual HCG from the MC or a chemical...I don't really know, but AF arrived on Friday...luckily it's over now (short period after MC) and I can start waiting for ovulation to try again this month!



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 14:44 PM   8
awnmyown
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I've almost always been "last" in my group of friends (I'm the youngest by a fair bit), and most have finished marrying and having kids and are on to other things. I often wished I could have "kept up" and speed through things to do so. But I'm really glad we didn't.

It's beyond difficult, but mature and responsible and LOVING to wait until you're financially ready. Same with choosing to complete your marriage and settle into a husband and wife routine. When those are the choices you want to make and maybe they aren't others, or other people took on debt to have a wedding sooner or whatever, they're not you're weight to bare.

The weird thing is that it's not going to be a constant either. We had one friend have her first child 7 years ago. And then JUST have her next one. You could be all done having your children and a friend could have been struggling and it take longer. You're going to be the last wedding instead of one of four others in the same summer. When everyone's babies are off being annoying bratty 2 year olds, you're gonna be the one with the sweet snuggly infant. You get so many hand me downs then too. Everyone wants to hold them and remember days gone by.

You're financially in a better place which means less stress. Which makes for happier parents and helps keep that marriage strong. I understand, totally, the desire to get there. It was a struggle every day to be patient when I was the last one to meet my DH. But it's worth it. As they say, enjoy the journey.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 17:00 PM   9
miss_giggles
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Thanks everyone. I think I just needed to talk about it. I really think it was just to do with the timing of my friends announcement that stired up all of these feelings. We have good reasons for waiting and I know that we will be in a better place because of it.



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Old Sep 12th, 2017, 07:34 AM   10
alenamiy
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Hello! it's nice to meet you!



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