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Old Apr 16th, 2018, 10:55 AM   1
LadySlipper
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Is a number 3 right for us at 41?


Tired of the ping pong match between my head and heart over having a 3rd at 42 years old. Right now we have two beautiful kids, son 5 & daughter 3. My husband really wants a third but isn't pressuring me at all. After we had our daughter I swore I was done since I had one of each. With each pregnancy my hips were more painful to the point I could barely sleep or walk. That is something my head keeps reminding me. Part of me also feels maybe I am too old for even thinking about this. Reading all the risks associated with having a baby at this age isn't helping. Neither is feeling like I would regret it if we didn't try.
As far as how the kids feel, my daughter would be thrilled. But it concerns how well my son will handle having another sibling. He says he would like a brother or another sister. But I just feel I would have even less time for him & the guilt of that, oh my. Doesn't help both my kids are varying degrees of speech delayed (son has Apraxia & daughter diagnosed a late talker; both doing well in this area). At the same time if I was to get pregnant tomorrow I would be so happy & excited. It is a battle of being happy/content with having a family of 4 or equally happy with a family of 5.
How in the world do I figure this out? So torn right now.

Anyone in a similar situation? Especially anyone who is "elderly" as they like to call mothers over 35. Not sure if more info will help me at this point. But maybe it would?



 
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Old Apr 18th, 2018, 15:36 PM   2
LadySlipper
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Had a pregnancy scare this month. It had me a bit excited at the thought. Guess that answers my question. Number three, is in the plan. But won't stress over it. If it happens it happens. If not, we are happy with two. Putting it in God's hands. Thanks for reading guys.



 
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Old Apr 19th, 2018, 07:25 AM   3
DoleWhip
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I am in a similar situation as you at the moment. I'm 37 and I have two children; My eldest is 18 and from a previous relationship, and my youngest is 8, so a 10 year age gap in between them. My husband has always wanted more children, but I didn't, as like you, I have a boy and a girl and felt my time was done. I also suffered from obstetric cholestasis in my last pregnancy and was told I would be a high risk if I was to have any more children. My husband's never pressured me, but I could tell he was upset that we wouldn't have anymore.

My daughter will be elated at having a baby brother or sister, but I'm not sure how my son will take it. He's still at college and only works part time so I don't think he'll be fleeing the nest any time soon.

I've recently had a change of heart after the birth of my niece. I'm SO broody and I got to thinking that I am not getting any younger, so it's now or never if we were to have any more. I sat my husband down and we had a good talk the other day and his face lit up when I said I was open to the idea of having another baby.
It feels like we're starting all over again and we will have to buy literally everything again after selling cots, prams etc a few years back. I have a few niggling doubts, but I know deep down it's what I want (I think). I was put on this earth to be a mother.

We are going to start trying in a couple of weeks, all being well. I'm going to go to the walk-in surgery tomorrow. I have liver problems and chronic fatigue and so my worries are very high at the moment. I feel exhausted the majority of the time already and suffer with bad back, hips and knees, so I'm not sure how I would cope being pregnant again.

I think what you have to ask yourself, is will you look back in 10 years time and regret not having any more?



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Old Apr 25th, 2018, 21:14 PM   4
LadySlipper
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The more I think about having another, the more the idea feels right. Though we also will have to buy a lot of things again, having gotten rid of them after my daughter. We won't be officially trying until May/June at the earliest. Later this year we have a road trip planned and not sure how pregnant I want to be during that trip. Part of me still thinks it is a little crazy to want another at this age. But I am in reasonably good health other than some excess weight & aching hips. I asked my kids what they think, if they would want another sibling. Both said yes. This will certainly be an interesting adventure possibly juggling three kids instead of two.
The concern of regretting not trying is definitely real. In a way I think I would. Doesn't help that it seems everyone seems to be having babies right now. Two families in my kids therapy waiting room did and their speech therapist did too. That kicked my baby thoughts going again. My daughter would be such a little mama to the baby. She already is towards her toys & takes care of her older brother in little ways too (not that he needs it). My son already stated he wants a brother. Oh boy the pressure of that one.
Good luck DoleWhip, I hope the doctors give you the green light to start trying and all goes well.



 
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