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Old May 21st, 2018, 21:53 PM   1
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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WTT Husband Keeps Changing his Mind

Hello everyone

First time posting here, not sure if the right group?

So my husband and I got married April 17, so have now been married for just over a year. He agreed to start TTC after our first wedding anniversary, however he keeps changing his mind from day to day.

he suggest a few months back i go in for a "pre-pregnancy" check up, to which a did a week ago. The Dr has sent me off for ovulation tracking blood tests as i have been diagnosed ages ago with mild PCOS.

Now all of a sudden, that i'm having my ovulation tracked, he is suddenly not wanting to try (even though he was fine with it last month), and it seems like he does everything in his power to (TMI here) keep me off him at night....

Now he knows how much i want a family, and i'm not sure he understands how much he is hurting me by one minute saying "yes he is ready" then turning around the next day and saying "no, we aren't trying anymore".

He then says he needs a couple days to get his head around it and i'm over here like "i'm getting too many mixed signals" and it's literally driving me insane. I cry myself to sleep every night because i just feel so upset that he keeps doing this to me?

Thoughts? Anyone else experienced this and what did you do?

Thanks xx

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Old May 22nd, 2018, 20:47 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
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Location: Missouri, USA
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I'm sorry you are going through this. It is definitely not fair for him to be constantly changing his mind. It sounds like he is very nervous and doesn't feel ready (which is COMPLETELY normal). My DH was the same way before our first. I think a lot of men feel this way because, lets be honest, you never really feel fully ready. I would definitely encourage you to sit down and talk with him. Be understanding and supportive of his experience and feelings about it but also let him know how the back and forth of TTC or not makes you feel. Maybe offer a compromise of tracking your cycles 2-3 months so you have a better idea of ovulation and give him more of a chance to embrace the idea? Best of luck to you!

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Old May 29th, 2018, 16:02 PM   3
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 16
I am sorry you are going through this! I have been through this once but since I was very young (20-21yrs) I let it go because I knew I wouldn't regret waiting. So unfortunately my experience won't help you there! But I know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep every night over the mixed emotions and it takes it's toll on your body. I would try and talk to him like kksy9b has said. It's the one way you might be able to get across how hurt you are and understand more of what is going on inside his head. (My husband didn't want kids because he was afraid they wouldn't like him! Slowly getting over that fear with all our nieces and nephews).
I wish you all the best to sort this out

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Old May 29th, 2018, 16:51 PM   4
Mum (Mom)
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Some men are put off by tracking cycles, they find it too much pressure. Maybe stop tracking, or just do it quietly without talking to him about it. Try and make sex about having fun, not getting pregnant and he might be more on board?

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Old Jun 26th, 2018, 19:10 PM   5
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: So. Cal
Posts: 17
So sorry you're going through this! I have kind of same thing with my DH, sometimes he's talking about what kind of stroller to get and the next he's rolling his eyes about it all. I think Bunny had a great suggestion, just try to not tell him all about the tracking and all this craziness and just have fun. He'll probably feel more relaxed and not so pressured. I've just been praying and doing what I can and knowing God will do the rest. For me, I could be pregnant now but won't know for sure for a few days. It's weird that it kind of seems like DH wants me to be now after a huge fight about it a few weeks ago. So you never know! Good luck!

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