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Old May 26th, 2018, 10:39 AM   1
lilysmum2
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#3 possibility ?!


Hi all. Quick recap of where we are at. We have two girls who are 8 (9 in July) and 5 (6 in September).


(Possible trigger)

In 2016 we lost our third baby to which we had to have him removed in Hospital due to my body not recognising he had no heartbeat.
So technically this would be number 4. I really really want another baby. Iím 27 this year and I really donít want to be having a baby past 30. (Personal preference) my husband is so set against any more but then will occasionally mention a baby. For example: I went to the doctors to referred for weight loss surgery and my husband asked me the other day if surgery would make me not able to have any more children? I donít pressure him and to be honest hardly mention babies to him but when I do he replies with no more ever.
He says he wants to be able to have our own house first. (We rent from my friend. Husband is self employed and doesnít make enough for a mortgage even though we know we could afford one itís just proving it! Realistically we couldnít afford the deposit sadly until my nana passes (obviously I would much rather have my nan!) as I have 20% of the sale of her house.

I just feel so down and depressed. I know this baby would never ever replace the one we lost but I feel empty ! Everybody always says I was meant to be a mum and thatís all I ever want to be. I have two already but really just feel like one more would fill this hole I have. Obviously my husband says after the next it would be one more and so on. I know that wouldnít happen as after Iím 30 then there defo wonít be any more.

Any ideas on how to approach my husband? I try not to say anything as I donít want arguments to break out!

Thanks ladies



 
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Old May 26th, 2018, 23:54 PM   2
Literati_Love
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So sorry for your loss. I completely understand your desperation for another one. No advice on how to get your husband to come around, but I hope he does!



 
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Old Aug 7th, 2018, 15:50 PM   3
Lyndag
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I just wrote a similar post. I have two boys 4 and 7 Im desperate for another it’s breakibg my heart but my husband doesn’t want anymore I don’t know what to do I feel like I am just going to have to accept it ��



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Old Aug 7th, 2018, 20:55 PM   4
Pne1985
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndag View Post
I just wrote a similar post. I have two boys 4 and 7 Im desperate for another itís breakibg my heart but my husband doesnít want anymore I donít know what to do I feel like I am just going to have to accept it ��
Iím in the same position. My husband ideally doesnít want anymore but if it did happen, he would be okay with it. I feel bad not accepting his wishes but itís really hard for me to accept being done with pregnancies, giving birth and having babies. Iím not ready to end that chapter!



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Old Aug 8th, 2018, 01:18 AM   5
Lyndag
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Me and my husband talked about it last night after he said he would think about it and he said he doesn’t want anymore I feel gutted I think because he was giving it thought I got carried away and starting thinking about it �� I feel so down now don’t know what to do with myself.



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Old Aug 9th, 2018, 08:28 AM   6
Pne1985
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndag View Post
Me and my husband talked about it last night after he said he would think about it and he said he doesnít want anymore I feel gutted I think because he was giving it thought I got carried away and starting thinking about it �� I feel so down now donít know what to do with myself.
Iím sorry. Do you guys use birth control? Itís so hard to accept. I donít want to. I wish God would bless us with another. We only use the pull out method so thereís a slight chance it could happen. Iím heartbroken that my husband doesnít want to try for another one but in a way Iím not giving up hope.



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Old Aug 9th, 2018, 08:31 AM   7
Pne1985
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilysmum2 View Post
Hi all. Quick recap of where we are at. We have two girls who are 8 (9 in July) and 5 (6 in September).


(Possible trigger)

In 2016 we lost our third baby to which we had to have him removed in Hospital due to my body not recognising he had no heartbeat.
So technically this would be number 4. I really really want another baby. Iím 27 this year and I really donít want to be having a baby past 30. (Personal preference) my husband is so set against any more but then will occasionally mention a baby. For example: I went to the doctors to referred for weight loss surgery and my husband asked me the other day if surgery would make me not able to have any more children? I donít pressure him and to be honest hardly mention babies to him but when I do he replies with no more ever.
He says he wants to be able to have our own house first. (We rent from my friend. Husband is self employed and doesnít make enough for a mortgage even though we know we could afford one itís just proving it! Realistically we couldnít afford the deposit sadly until my nana passes (obviously I would much rather have my nan!) as I have 20% of the sale of her house.

I just feel so down and depressed. I know this baby would never ever replace the one we lost but I feel empty ! Everybody always says I was meant to be a mum and thatís all I ever want to be. I have two already but really just feel like one more would fill this hole I have. Obviously my husband says after the next it would be one more and so on. I know that wouldnít happen as after Iím 30 then there defo wonít be any more.

Any ideas on how to approach my husband? I try not to say anything as I donít want arguments to break out!

Thanks ladies

Iím so sorry for your loss. Have you guys discussed having another? Iím not sure how to approach him also. Maybe just ask him what his true feelings are deep down.



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Old Aug 9th, 2018, 13:28 PM   8
Lyndag
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pne1985 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndag View Post
Me and my husband talked about it last night after he said he would think about it and he said he doesnít want anymore I feel gutted I think because he was giving it thought I got carried away and starting thinking about it �� I feel so down now donít know what to do with myself.
Iím sorry. Do you guys use birth control? Itís so hard to accept. I donít want to. I wish God would bless us with another. We only use the pull out method so thereís a slight chance it could happen. Iím heartbroken that my husband doesnít want to try for another one but in a way Iím not giving up hope.

Iíve got the mirena cool fitted. Also Iíve got pregnant 3 times with the pull out method but all ended in miscarriage which obviously has no connection to that method. So I would be surprised if you do get pregnant how long have you been doing it for? Lynda



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Old Aug 9th, 2018, 14:26 PM   9
Pne1985
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndag View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pne1985 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndag View Post
Me and my husband talked about it last night after he said he would think about it and he said he doesnít want anymore I feel gutted I think because he was giving it thought I got carried away and starting thinking about it �� I feel so down now donít know what to do with myself.
Iím sorry. Do you guys use birth control? Itís so hard to accept. I donít want to. I wish God would bless us with another. We only use the pull out method so thereís a slight chance it could happen. Iím heartbroken that my husband doesnít want to try for another one but in a way Iím not giving up hope.

Iíve got the mirena cool fitted. Also Iíve got pregnant 3 times with the pull out method but all ended in miscarriage which obviously has no connection to that method. So I would be surprised if you do get pregnant how long have you been doing it for? Lynda

Oh okay. So Iím sure itís a pretty reliable birth control? And did you really? Did he pull out from the very beginning or was there a little that got in before he pulled out? And we used that for years except when we have tried to get pregnant. So for us, it works pretty well. He has great self control though.



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