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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:10 PM   1
Lilly12
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WTT , I'm ready but husband isn't yet..


First of all, Hi to all of you!!

Me and my husband have been married for a year, we've both never been happier.. We both KNOW that we're the one for eachother.
We barely every argue and can't spend enough time together.
I'll be 25 in june and my husband will be 31 the end of april.

Since I was little I knew I wanted to become a mommy some day.
Since a few months this feeling has gotten so strong, I feel like I'm so ready to become a mommy.. mentally, physically and financially.
We might not be rich but we have no debt, no creditcards, we both have a combined savings of about 12000.
I do not work but my husband works and he makes enough for us to buy whatever we want and still save 300-500 a month.

I think that'd be a good stable life for a child, I mean we won't buy all these designer clothes but I don't think that's what a child needs.
We have enough money for diapers, clothes, food, medical stuff etc each month.
And we have enough money to buy all the one time things such as a stroller, crib etc.

My husband doesn't think hes ready yet, he says hes ready mentally but not financially.
I told him I think we are.. and told him the monthly expenses and told him it's gonna be as expensive as we make it..
Lotsa thrift store shopping and sales and bulk, and we'll be fine.

Now my period was 5 days late, (I'm not on birthcontrol, we use condoms though), and I told him that I thought I might be pregnant, cause I'm never late, and he said "I'm not worried, if it happens it happens"
I expected him to freak out, and he didn't.
He even wrote on facebook yesterday " Life is good"...

So right now my period just started today, after 5 days late, and I kinda feel sad, because I was kind of hoping I was pregnant, he knows that too.

It just sucks, cause I want to have a child so bad, and I know that we'd both be great parents, my husband is very loving and caring and so am I.
Bleh, sometimes life kinda sucks.

I know he wants me to be the mother of his child, someday, so that's good..but still.. I am so ready and it sucks to wait..

Sorry didn't mean to write so much , hehe.



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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:14 PM   2
polo_princess
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and welcome

I dont think there is ever a right time financially to have a child, but somehow you just manage. Obviously your in a pretty stable situation if you have no debts and what not.

What specifically is he worried about financially, becoming the sole bread winner for the family? Or just how you will manage day to day?

You could always suggest setting a date to TTC and then putting a little money away each month for a "baby fund"



 
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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:16 PM   3
plutosblue
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Hehe aww hun

You will find that with most men, the idea of actively trying and making a decision to TTC makes them freak out, but if it just "happens" I think they either think its just one of lifes little quirks, or that they have super sperm.

Your DH may come around to the idea soon, perhaps you could bring the idea of not trying not preventing, your man may feel more comfortable with that idea.

Don't worry we are all a little angsty waiting!



 
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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:29 PM   4
Lilly12
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Thanks for replying , you guys!
Well my husband has been working for the same person for 11 years now, he is the manager of a gasstation..he just doesn't consider that a "real" job.

I tell him that he is probably the only one in this town that has been working for the same guy for 11 years, he's also friends with this guy, he owns about 4 other convenient stores, and I know that he'll always have my husbands back.
I find our situation very stable.

We live in an awesome appartment, 5 minutes from the beach, 5 minutes from his work, and the river in our backyard, and about 5minutes from the dollar store, and 10minutes to publix.
It's a 1 bedroom appartment but we'd want our child in our bedroom anyways, especially the first few months, we talked about that.

I'd be a stay at home mom, so no daycare costs.
We'd only use one car, as we do now, since everything is near and I could just walk with the baby.

We'd have to get another car though, right now we have a truck and it doesnt have a backseat for a baby..but that's not a problem since we can sell this one and buy another one.
We don't buy new cars since we live right on the beach and we dont have a garage.

I'm just hoping he'll want to try for a baby soon, He's changed ALOT the last year, he grew up tons, and is still growing alot, I noticed that.

Im just impatient



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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:32 PM   5
Deeper Blue
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Wow... sounds like your loads more prepared to have a baby than I was! Your OH doesn't consider 12k of saving being financially stable?! We are STILL paying off our wedding from 2 years ago. Hope you get your TTC date soon.
x

Oh, and welcome to WTT!



 
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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:37 PM   6
babyblog
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Hey, sorry if this is nosey but how come you don't work? If the only thinkg your OH is worried about is money perhaps you could get a job and save even more from that for a baby fund? Then that worry may go for him and hey presto you can start TTC?



 
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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:38 PM   7
polo_princess
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Your a women ... being impatient is in our genes



 
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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:54 PM   8
Lilly12
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I know this is going to sound contradicting but...
I don't work cause we both think that we save enough a month, we are financially very stable.
I always hang out with him @ his work, and we love to spend time together.
I help him out at work, but I don't get payed for it.

He doesn't see the need of me working, and neither do I.
(I know, I'm lucky)

If we'd have a child , I'd also be a stay at home mom, that's what we both want.

I think he might just be scared of the unknown, I think having 12000 dollar saved is alot, and If i'd get pregnant we'd still have 9 months to save up money, and buy stuff, and we wouldnt even have to take out that much money of our savings..just for the midwife etc.



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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 14:59 PM   9
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Have you talked to your OH about why he doesn't feel financially ready yet?



 
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Old Feb 21st, 2010, 15:07 PM   10
babyblog
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i think 12k is more than enough too, men are funny creatures! Like you say, he was happy that you may have had an accident, he just doesn't want to actively TTC. Have you asked him for some kind of time frame when he may feel ready?



 
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