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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 05:08 AM   1
hulahoop09
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Newbie! :D Phobia & prepping my body! May be LONG!!


Hiya

I am new on here but have been recommended it for some advice. I have a phobia (Tokophobia) of childbirth and have done for years. I am getting to the point in life where I am yearning for a baby but have that fight of how scared I am. I have recently been in touch with a midwife who came to see me at home for a chat and helped so much! She said she could see I have a genuine fear and that she could see me having a home birth along with hypnobirthing and maybe even a waterbirth. She said though that if I still feel I cant go through with it that she knows a consultant at the hospital who would be happy to give me a c section under a general. I know many say this is something that they would not want but for me it is more of a comfort than a natural birth (still frightening though!). She said no one could force me to go through with a natural birth and that my mental health is important and that would be my medical reason for a c-section.

I am going to hopefully start CBT shortly to try and help me with my fears and crazy irrational thoughts! I am so broody and it kills me seeing people happy with their babies as I want it to be me, I really think all those who have gone through with it are so so brave and hope one day I can be! I have friends who have got pregnant/give birth etc and it brings me to tears cause I want it to be me! It does break my heart!

Me and hubby have been talking and have decided we would like to start TTC in about 1-1 1/2 years which is v.exciting but at same time I am petrified. I have brought a few little baby things to try and get me prepped and looking forward to it rather than terrified! I know I may jinx and I would deal with that if/when it comes to it it but it is helping a little to buy these small things!! We need to save anyway as I cant really afford to go on maternity and we need central heating as at the moment we only have storage heaters (economy 7). I also need to work on myself and get my head ready for it!

I have been on the pill for almost 9 years (Ovranette) with maybe a 6 month break in between. I was just wondering how long this could possibly take to come out of my system and how long before I should look at taking myself off it? Are there other things I need to do to get my body prepared for a possible pregnancy in about 1 year?

Thank you!


x



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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 06:31 AM   2
Islas_mummy
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Hi there and welcome!

I just want to say congratulations on facing your fears and coming here and getting help from a midwife. You are really brave! And being pro-active as you are and addressing your issues and preparing for childbirth/motherhood, one day you will have your own gorgeous little baby and probably think "What was that all about!"

I don't know much about preparing for a baby as I accidently got pregnant and wasn't on the pill (well actually I subconsiously got myself pregnant because I was diagnosed with PCOS and was tempting fate....but that's a different story).

I just wanted to say hi and I hope you find what you need to get the courage to get pregnant.

Oh and I was scared about labour too (not a phobia like you or anything just general anxiety and fear of the unknown) and it was the most wonderful experience of my life and straight after I wanted to do it again! Eventhough my labour lasted 72hours from start to finish.

xxx



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 06:35 AM   3
hulahoop09
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Awww thanks so much!! I have been on some forums and saw how nasty people can be towards people in my situation so was a little worried about airing on here! Lol. Its nice to know I have somewhere to come for help, advice & support!!

I really hope you are right! How adorable is your little one!!!

x



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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 07:11 AM   4
buttons1
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Hi and welcome to B&B sounds like you have make a really important step already in speaking to a midwife. I don't really have any other advice from the ideas she gave you. Just try to keep your eyes on the goal that one day you will have a little baby of your own and try not to focus too much on the process of getting there.

Do you worry about the pregnancy too or just the giving birth? As you could just try to focus on the pregnancy and how special it is until the very end when it is getting close.

I was on the pill for 6 years (cilest) and came off the pill mid pack had my break through bleed and then conceived our first month trying. So it is very possible for you to catch straight away although I know women that it has taken months/even years for them to even get a regular period back. Might be worth you coming off the pill in advance of the time you want to start trying and start tracking your cycles so when you are ready to go with it you can just start tryin.

Good luck with it all any way



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 07:20 AM   5
hulahoop09
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Thanks for the reply! The giving birth is the main fear for me but I also am very anxious about being pregnant, the feeling of it etc. I cant touch baby bumps and have only touched one earlier this year with the aid of a friends hand!

x



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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 07:26 AM   6
buttons1
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Oh right, I thought it would feel weird feeling a baby moving around inside you but when it actually happens it is the most amazing feeling in the world, I hope you get the same feeling. Must be hard for you when you want a baby so much. Do you think you would be able to put yourself though it all to get your own baby over say looking into adoption or surrogacy?



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 08:02 AM   7
hulahoop09
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I would love to adopt but with a h/o depression etc I wouldnt get very far and hubby wants a child of our own and the more I go along I do aswell thats why I am trying to be brave! :s

x



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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 10:40 AM   8
buttons1
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Aww well I really hope it works out for you then



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 10:48 AM   9
hulahoop09
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Thanks! I am determined to try anyway.

x



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Old Nov 30th, 2010, 12:09 PM   10
Nimoo
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hey hun welcome to wtt..
i think youve already made the first step by contacting the midwife!!
i wish you all best and good luck on journey to motherhood!!

i think your brave facing your fears



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